Is this a good start?

[Summer-Knight925]

for 2 hours of play, an 8 room dungeon (6 actual encounters) with 1 out of dungeon wilderness encounter and the actual role play hook (talking to the older dwarf)

Room 1 is a cave entrance where they are attacked by (what else) Kobolds.

Room 2 is a split, one corridor to the left, one to the right.

Room 3 is down the left corridor, it is a fungi chamber with a shrieker and some stirge, I figure a composite encounter like that should be fun.
Room 4 is down the right corridor, it's a trap! a crossbow is set up to fire at the door when the pressure plate is triggered.

Room 5 is an empty room that gives a few clues of what to come (in particular, something with mirrors and some 'slug god')

Room 6 is a long hall that curves around the corner, while the characters travel they set off a goblin ambush, with a few search checks they should find a hidden room and lots of treasure.

Room 7 is a puzzle room, the entire room is one giant mirror with a single mirror pedestal in the center, on the pedestal is a large blue mirrored sphere. The door into the chamber reads, "when no blue shows through, the door will open to you" (if you remove the blue sphere the door opens and the adventure continues, also good treasure in this room if they survive yet another trap from the non-hidden door (this trap is an acid pit trap that if you open the door and fail a save slide into the pit of acid.)
Room 8 is actually a gateway to future adventures, if they fight through the carrion crawler they find that a large 'well' is actually a chute to a dungeon below. Although they are aware they are to weak to go down.

On the way out they encounter a bad guy (reoccurring that a few players will recognize and thus rage about) who threatens the characters but leaves them with a message.
"Your lands will be mine some day, all of them, tell your lords and dukes there is nothing they can do, tell them to fear Vladmir Ranzevour, Knight of the fallen standard

*Note:Most of these people have never played a fantasy table-top rpg ever, some have never even played a fantasy rpg. I am using the basic fantasy role playing game to get them started, when they say basic, they really mean it.
I do have to run through this in 2 hours for 2 different groups, although I bet if they run over a little (either group) it won't matter to much.

 

[SkredlitheOgre]

Do both rooms 3 and 4 lead to room 7? This is more curiosity than anything.

i think this sounds like it could be a fun little jaunt. Just make sure to tell everyone before starting that death is a possibility. I've made the mistake of assuming everyone knew that (yeah, my bad), and one guy bitched when his character ate it at the hands of an...owlbear, I think. It's been a while.

 

[Summer-Knight925]

Do both rooms 3 and 4 lead to room 7? This is more curiosity than anything.

i think this sounds like it could be a fun little jaunt. Just make sure to tell everyone before starting that death is a possibility. I've made the mistake of assuming everyone knew that (yeah, my bad), and one guy bitched when his character ate it at the hands of an...owlbear, I think. It's been a while.

room 3 dead ends, room 4 leads on.

and as for them knowing death is out there, I will tell them, but I have a feeling it won't matter when they die.

 

[MortalPlague]

It sounds like you've got your bases pretty well covered.

The only thing I could think of is to make sure the fight against the kobolds has a very different feel to the fight against goblins.

 

[delericho]

The material itself look good. However, for only 2 hours of play, it looks like you may have too much material. What system are you using, and is this intended to be the start of an ongoing game, or a one-shot deal?

 

[nedjer]

Sounds very classic dungeon adventure, i.e. a good laugh

Be interesting to know how your're going to accessorise? Is the recurring enemy going to sneer or be dismissive, just how gloopy is the noxious slug slime and does the real treasure lie in an apparently dull map - which only reveals a picture the next time a PC wades through a river or opens it in the rain?

 

[ahayford]

I think for 2 hours 6 encounters is really too much, particularly if they do any role playing and have never really played before. Unless you are really pushing your players, I'd try and stick closer to 1 encounter per hour. Maybe 2 if your guys are really knowledgeable and don't RP at all. I think for new players you are particularly better off running something much shorter and simpler. Include fewer combat encounters, and add more diplomacy/puzzle type encounters to show them all the things an RPG can be besides just hack and slash.

 

[Summer-Knight925]

The Kobolds can be talked out of the fight, so there is a roleplay encounter

but I agree, it does seem like a bit much

perhaps a cliffhanger approach where the PCs (being sent to only get to the door at the least) are cut off at there, by (of course) the villain, who I have played well in the past and I won't really change much.

This is using Basic Fantasy Role Playing Game rules, meaning learning them should be quick.
I thought about adding in more puzzles but I have seen groups take 3 sessions to solve a riddle (shudders in agony) so the one puzzle seems good enough. I think I will rework it.

The idea is that it is NOT a one shot adventure but rather the bait, to get people to play more. I would love to continue to DM for these people, but only if they really liked the game.
I think the cliffhanger at the door is the best way to do it
so rather the 1st encounter will be the stirge and shrieker, then the goblin/kobold ambush (not sure which yet) followed by some sort of puzzle and main bad guy, sounds like a lot of combat, and in a way it is, but how many 1st level dungeons have you skill checked your way out of?

 

[ahayford]

I think your modified version is much better. I think you're better off introducing people slowly. Better to give them a taste and leave them wanting more then to drown them in an overly long scenario.

 

[saskganesh]

Short's good, especially if you are not going to play every week.

I recently GM'ed a BFRPG arc with a canned module, involving a two level dungeon. We played every two weeks, and well, the PCs and their NPC allies were in the dungeon for 4 sessions, with about 3-4 hours a session. Two real time months in the same place was too long, and I was very happy when they went back to town to get help.

Last week, a 2ndE group I play in (6 players) finished a multi level dungeon in a 2nd session. I think we had 8 fights stretched out over 9 hours of game time in total.

Pacing, one fight a real time hour, seems about right.