Kings Fall 3.5 Campaign setting (crtique please)

[arcanaman]

What I have so Far

The Kingdom of Adeiran fell to it's knees

two thousand years ago know it is divided into the upper and lower kingdoms and

divided even furhter into small independent kingdoms and duchies the old capital

Dyson itself located on an island in the river Thelember is ruled by corrupt trade princes and street gangs kept at each other throats by the real power the theives guild

 

[arcanaman]

The Mother Church
With My Voice the World was born
The goddess Veranis Created all that is and will be she is the one goddess the only divine being in existence

 

[Jürgen Hubert]

Details?

 

[Kaladhan]

Two things :

First, please use commas or periods in your sentences. As english is not my first language, it's difficult to read.

Second, it's a very short text. The concept of being descendent from an old kingdom or empire is a classic story element, present in Birthright and Eberron. Beyond that, I'm not sure what you're aiming for. Provide more details please.

 

[arcanaman]

d'accord je ne sais pas mais je pense bon idee