Klingon Software Design

[Mystery Man]

The Klingon Programmer's Code of Honour

All Klingons who develop code for the glory of the empire follow this "Code of Honour" for software "code warriors".

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Specifications are for the weak and timid.

State-of-the-art hardware is a prerequisite to do battle with code.

One cannot truly appreciate "Dilbert" without reading it in the original Klingon.

Indentation is for enemy skulls, not code.

Klingons do not "release" software. Klingon software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of design engineers and quality assurance people in its path.

Klingon function calls have no parameters. They have arguments! And they always win them.

Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

Quality Assurance issues are best solved with a Batleth.

A true Klingon warrior does not comment his code.

Our users shall know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

 

[Angel Tarragon]

The Klingon Programmer's Code of Honour

All Klingons who develop code for the glory of the empire follow this "Code of Honour" for software "code warriors".

Hmmm, idea for a D20 Future Advanced Class is now brewing in my mind.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Klingons do not "release" software. Klingon software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of design engineers and quality assurance people in its path.

Klingon function calls have no parameters. They have arguments! And they always win them.

Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

Those are great!

 

[der_kluge]

I've known programmers like this.

The worst thing I think I ever saw in a procedure was a function that returned like 36 unique variables (as output from a database query). They were called:

var1, var2, var3, var4 ... var36

I could have shot that guy.

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

The Klingon Programmer's Code of Honour

Funny, sounds a like lot the Microsoft Programmer's Code.

 

[the Jester]

Hee hee...

that's teh funny

 

[Mystery Man]

Funny, sounds a like lot the Microsoft Programmer's Code.

Microsoft needs to get into the vacuum cleaner business, that way they would make product people actually want to suck.