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[Kulan] Crisis in Bluffside PBP Campaign Guide
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<blockquote data-quote="Knightfall" data-source="post: 9793579" data-attributes="member: 2012"><p><h3>Silly and Extremely Funny Rumours in Bluffside</h3> <ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><strong>Lord Rande Mateû</strong>, the proprietor of <strong>The Winsome Heart</strong>, is so obsessed with his inn's reputation that he pays small children to stand outside and loudly boast about how much they hate his competitor's ale.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The true reason for the delay in opening <strong>The Winsome Heart</strong> is that Rande's staff quit after discovering the inn's mysterious under-cellars are haunted by the ghosts of eight opera singers who only sing mournful ballads about budgeting errors.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The spiders infesting the cellar of the inn aren't monstrous at all; they are actually tiny, highly judgmental art critics who knit scathing reviews of the inn's decor into their webs.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The famous "adamantine" mined in Bluffside isn't a rare metal; it’s just especially sparkly gravel that the <strong>Adamantine Security Council (ASC)</strong> paints black to maintain an illusion of exclusivity.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The colossal bridge leading to the ruins of <strong>Sem La Vah</strong> is so massive and well-maintained solely because Commander Oakfirst personally polishes it with military-grade boot polish every Sunday morning.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The <strong>Steam Gnomes</strong> who maintain the mechanical lift system connecting Cavern Harbour to <strong>New City</strong> deliberately include the horrible screeching noises, claiming it is required to scare off subterranean earworms.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The entire purpose of the six self-contained districts of Bluffside is so that Lord Blander (one of <strong>The Five</strong>) can enjoy a full day of travel just to visit his favourite cheese shop without worrying about running into his rivals.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The Old City Killer that once roamed <strong>Old City</strong> isn't humanoid; it's just Commander Oakfirst’s old war shield that somehow achieved sentience and is very cross about being retired.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The crystalline <em>flos</em> (flower) found in the <strong>Sem La Vah</strong> ruins is completely inert, but anyone who touches it develops an irresistible urge to wear mismatched socks.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The <strong>Bluffside Regulars</strong> stationed in <strong>New City</strong> during martial law communicate entirely through elaborate, coded hand signals resembling bored finger painting.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The great <strong>Ice Wizard Ivar Thorn</strong> is rumoured to be disfigured not by wrestling an elemental, but by a tragic incident involving a melting frozen dessert and a sudden gust of wind.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The massive <strong>fissures</strong> in the <strong>Temple District</strong> are kept steaming because a powerful cult believes the escaping vapours are the scent of pure administrative competence.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The Headman Jago, who fled the <strong>Sem La Vah</strong> ruins, was actually hiding a terrible secret: he believed archaeology was just glorified dirt petting and was seeking a dignified exit strategy.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The powerful <strong>Wizard Council</strong> in the Wizard District secretly insists that all official paperwork be written in vanishing ink, just to confuse their political opponents.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The nickname "City on the Edge" stems from the city's precarious cliffside position, but many citizens believe it refers to the fact that everyone in <strong>Bluffside</strong> is constantly one bad joke away from a nervous breakdown.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The gnome fighter Gralf's imposing full-plate armour and greataxe were only necessary because he is deathly afraid of being accidentally stepped on by taller individuals.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><strong>Sordadon</strong>, the floating community below the bluff, is slowly sinking because the half-ogre barge worker <strong>Mango</strong> keeps forgetting to properly plug the hull after emptying his pipe ash.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The <strong>Old City</strong> district is notoriously quiet because its aristocratic residents have signed a pact promising to only speak in hushed, dramatic whispers after sunset.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The infamous illegal fireworks storehouse that exploded in <strong>Tarren's Corner</strong> was merely a poorly disguised attempt by the owner to start a rival sun by launching enough explosives simultaneously.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The exotic blooms and mineral formations decorating the <strong>Dragori Embassy</strong>’s sand garden were all purchased at a deeply discounted price after a terrible "fire sale" in the <strong>Burning Sands</strong> region.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The mysterious humming sounds reported coming from deep beneath <strong>The Winsome Heart</strong> are actually caused by the ghost of a clumsy gnome miner perpetually bouncing a marble down a long, hollow shaft.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The <strong>ArchGuild</strong> (or Ruinrats) who dig in <strong>Sem La Vah</strong> believe they are unearthing priceless historical artifacts, but they mostly find old tavern receipts and deeply embarrassing romantic poetry.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The entire conflict involving the escaped guard and missing cleric after the explosion was actually due to a misunderstanding over who owed whom a gold piece, escalating until mercenary groups got involved.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol"><strong>Lord Rande Mateû</strong> is rumoured to be <strong>King Yezekael III's</strong> long-lost, surprisingly less dignified cousin, whose only inheritance was a subscription to a broadsheet about exotic pipe-weed blends.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">The flying reptilian beast-men that attacked the diggers in <strong>Sem La Vah</strong> were actually just terribly misunderstood tourists trying to ask for directions to the nearest gift shop.</li> </ol></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Knightfall, post: 9793579, member: 2012"] [HEADING=2]Silly and Extremely Funny Rumours in Bluffside[/HEADING] [LIST=1] [*][B]Lord Rande Mateû[/B], the proprietor of [B]The Winsome Heart[/B], is so obsessed with his inn's reputation that he pays small children to stand outside and loudly boast about how much they hate his competitor's ale. [*]The true reason for the delay in opening [B]The Winsome Heart[/B] is that Rande's staff quit after discovering the inn's mysterious under-cellars are haunted by the ghosts of eight opera singers who only sing mournful ballads about budgeting errors. [*]The spiders infesting the cellar of the inn aren't monstrous at all; they are actually tiny, highly judgmental art critics who knit scathing reviews of the inn's decor into their webs. [*]The famous "adamantine" mined in Bluffside isn't a rare metal; it’s just especially sparkly gravel that the [B]Adamantine Security Council (ASC)[/B] paints black to maintain an illusion of exclusivity. [*]The colossal bridge leading to the ruins of [B]Sem La Vah[/B] is so massive and well-maintained solely because Commander Oakfirst personally polishes it with military-grade boot polish every Sunday morning. [*]The [B]Steam Gnomes[/B] who maintain the mechanical lift system connecting Cavern Harbour to [B]New City[/B] deliberately include the horrible screeching noises, claiming it is required to scare off subterranean earworms. [*]The entire purpose of the six self-contained districts of Bluffside is so that Lord Blander (one of [B]The Five[/B]) can enjoy a full day of travel just to visit his favourite cheese shop without worrying about running into his rivals. [*]The Old City Killer that once roamed [B]Old City[/B] isn't humanoid; it's just Commander Oakfirst’s old war shield that somehow achieved sentience and is very cross about being retired. [*]The crystalline [I]flos[/I] (flower) found in the [B]Sem La Vah[/B] ruins is completely inert, but anyone who touches it develops an irresistible urge to wear mismatched socks. [*]The [B]Bluffside Regulars[/B] stationed in [B]New City[/B] during martial law communicate entirely through elaborate, coded hand signals resembling bored finger painting. [*]The great [B]Ice Wizard Ivar Thorn[/B] is rumoured to be disfigured not by wrestling an elemental, but by a tragic incident involving a melting frozen dessert and a sudden gust of wind. [*]The massive [B]fissures[/B] in the [B]Temple District[/B] are kept steaming because a powerful cult believes the escaping vapours are the scent of pure administrative competence. [*]The Headman Jago, who fled the [B]Sem La Vah[/B] ruins, was actually hiding a terrible secret: he believed archaeology was just glorified dirt petting and was seeking a dignified exit strategy. [*]The powerful [B]Wizard Council[/B] in the Wizard District secretly insists that all official paperwork be written in vanishing ink, just to confuse their political opponents. [*]The nickname "City on the Edge" stems from the city's precarious cliffside position, but many citizens believe it refers to the fact that everyone in [B]Bluffside[/B] is constantly one bad joke away from a nervous breakdown. [*]The gnome fighter Gralf's imposing full-plate armour and greataxe were only necessary because he is deathly afraid of being accidentally stepped on by taller individuals. [*][B]Sordadon[/B], the floating community below the bluff, is slowly sinking because the half-ogre barge worker [B]Mango[/B] keeps forgetting to properly plug the hull after emptying his pipe ash. [*]The [B]Old City[/B] district is notoriously quiet because its aristocratic residents have signed a pact promising to only speak in hushed, dramatic whispers after sunset. [*]The infamous illegal fireworks storehouse that exploded in [B]Tarren's Corner[/B] was merely a poorly disguised attempt by the owner to start a rival sun by launching enough explosives simultaneously. [*]The exotic blooms and mineral formations decorating the [B]Dragori Embassy[/B]’s sand garden were all purchased at a deeply discounted price after a terrible "fire sale" in the [B]Burning Sands[/B] region. [*]The mysterious humming sounds reported coming from deep beneath [B]The Winsome Heart[/B] are actually caused by the ghost of a clumsy gnome miner perpetually bouncing a marble down a long, hollow shaft. [*]The [B]ArchGuild[/B] (or Ruinrats) who dig in [B]Sem La Vah[/B] believe they are unearthing priceless historical artifacts, but they mostly find old tavern receipts and deeply embarrassing romantic poetry. [*]The entire conflict involving the escaped guard and missing cleric after the explosion was actually due to a misunderstanding over who owed whom a gold piece, escalating until mercenary groups got involved. [*][B]Lord Rande Mateû[/B] is rumoured to be [B]King Yezekael III's[/B] long-lost, surprisingly less dignified cousin, whose only inheritance was a subscription to a broadsheet about exotic pipe-weed blends. [*]The flying reptilian beast-men that attacked the diggers in [B]Sem La Vah[/B] were actually just terribly misunderstood tourists trying to ask for directions to the nearest gift shop. [/LIST] [/QUOTE]
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