(un)reason
Legend
Dragon Magazine Issue 156: April 1990
part 3/6
Fiction: Confusing sequel to a story you haven't read by Adam Troy Castro. Another joke piece here. When the stuff in the slush pile gets mixed up, all kinds of weird stuff can happen. Only the almightly pen of the editor can ensure everything appears on the page as it should, and there are no incomprehensible plot leaps, or annoying people ending sentences with propositions. A nicely meta bit of fiction, that once again seems to be hitting the right buttons for my sense of humour. It may be easier to do things badly but amusingly, and oddly, that can often sell better precisely because it is lampoonable. Don't be ashamed of the cheese in your collection.
The marvel-phile: Yet more goofiness here as well, as they tackle some more of the Marvel universes' many amusing and incompetent villains. Another collection of incompetent villains for hire, the Crazy Gang have an alice in wonderland theme, and have primarily been a source of irritation for captain Britain. Executioner, Jester, Knave, the Red Queen and Tweedledope. Just beat the crap out of them and shove them in jail. Problem solved. A pretty standard entry here. No great flashes of wit in their description either. Dale doesn't seem quite as good at making this entertaining as Jeff.
Wrestling with style: Another brief and unpretentious article here, expanding the martial arts rules to cover non oriental fighting styles. Boxing, two variants on Pankraton, and Wrestling, and a little on where these fighting styles are demonstrated in classical literature. It's not as if westerners had no style and finesse at all in these areas. Course, as ever, it doesn't address the fact that the MA rules in OA are a bit crap, but that doesn't seem to hurt their popularity as something to build upon. Once again, not even slightly world-rocking, but feel free to use it.
Sage advice finally leaves pole position. But it's still peachy. And illustrated! This is a step up! Some extra special april fools questions for us here.
What happens if an anti-magic shell is hit by a beholders anti-magic eye ( Magic doesn't work. Twice. Two wrongs do not make a right.)
What happens when someone's turned into water and then drunken. (Their deid sonny. Ach, noo. )
What happens if you cast spells to affect objects on a body and then raise it (oh, this could get complicated. Skip will have to filibuster until they get bored and go away. )
What happens if you get three draconians, cut off their wings, and load them on a catapult (Ok, now you're just trying to test Skip. Skip will not play your stupid games. )
What happens if you're turned into a worm, cut in two and then turned back ( You die. Simplest way to handle it. )
How much does a legless gnome weigh (Still quite a bit)
Can a dinosaur crush a sword + 6 (yes)
Can you shoot down a fireball. (No, despite how cinematic it would be. )
Can a ring of regeneration restore virginity (physically, but it won't fool the unicorns. )
We also get 7 more revisitings of previous questions, with the answers revised in light of new information. Skip ain't set in his ways. Skip is adaptable to please the laydees in every situation. )
TSR Previews goes yellow. Their budget for colour seems to be increasing these days. Anyway, On the generic side of things, we get DMGR2: The castle guide, and Monstrous compendium 5, Greyhawk. Both team efforts by the whole staff, they bring a whole bunch of old creatures into the new edition, and expand the mass system rules for sieges and all that jazz.
The Forgotten Realms sees this year's big event start. Troy Denning gives us FRA1: Storm Riders. Head east to escape the mongols, and wind up in wacky hi-jinks land. David Cook writes Horselords, the corresponding novel installment. (Both the start of a trilogy, au naturelle) Having just got over a plague of gods and reworking of it's physics, now the Realms has to deal with a barbarian invasion. Well, at least they're not trying to top themselves every year at the moment. Still, prepare for big chunks of your old setting info to be made obsolete.
D&D gets another module, tied in to it's recent boxed set. Arena of Thyatis sees some new characters learning the ropes in a relatively controlled environment. I'm guessing being captured and forced to fight in the arena is on the agenda at some point.
Marvel also gets an introductory module. MLBA1: Mutating Mutants. I don't think the nature of your character's origin stories are in any question if you use this one.
And finally, it seems they're still trying their luck with new boardgames now and then. Fantasy Forest sees them resurrect characters from the D&D cartoon, and use them in a game for younger players. Who will reach the magic castle first? Anyone remember this?
part 3/6
Fiction: Confusing sequel to a story you haven't read by Adam Troy Castro. Another joke piece here. When the stuff in the slush pile gets mixed up, all kinds of weird stuff can happen. Only the almightly pen of the editor can ensure everything appears on the page as it should, and there are no incomprehensible plot leaps, or annoying people ending sentences with propositions. A nicely meta bit of fiction, that once again seems to be hitting the right buttons for my sense of humour. It may be easier to do things badly but amusingly, and oddly, that can often sell better precisely because it is lampoonable. Don't be ashamed of the cheese in your collection.
The marvel-phile: Yet more goofiness here as well, as they tackle some more of the Marvel universes' many amusing and incompetent villains. Another collection of incompetent villains for hire, the Crazy Gang have an alice in wonderland theme, and have primarily been a source of irritation for captain Britain. Executioner, Jester, Knave, the Red Queen and Tweedledope. Just beat the crap out of them and shove them in jail. Problem solved. A pretty standard entry here. No great flashes of wit in their description either. Dale doesn't seem quite as good at making this entertaining as Jeff.
Wrestling with style: Another brief and unpretentious article here, expanding the martial arts rules to cover non oriental fighting styles. Boxing, two variants on Pankraton, and Wrestling, and a little on where these fighting styles are demonstrated in classical literature. It's not as if westerners had no style and finesse at all in these areas. Course, as ever, it doesn't address the fact that the MA rules in OA are a bit crap, but that doesn't seem to hurt their popularity as something to build upon. Once again, not even slightly world-rocking, but feel free to use it.
Sage advice finally leaves pole position. But it's still peachy. And illustrated! This is a step up! Some extra special april fools questions for us here.
What happens if an anti-magic shell is hit by a beholders anti-magic eye ( Magic doesn't work. Twice. Two wrongs do not make a right.)
What happens when someone's turned into water and then drunken. (Their deid sonny. Ach, noo. )
What happens if you cast spells to affect objects on a body and then raise it (oh, this could get complicated. Skip will have to filibuster until they get bored and go away. )
What happens if you get three draconians, cut off their wings, and load them on a catapult (Ok, now you're just trying to test Skip. Skip will not play your stupid games. )
What happens if you're turned into a worm, cut in two and then turned back ( You die. Simplest way to handle it. )
How much does a legless gnome weigh (Still quite a bit)
Can a dinosaur crush a sword + 6 (yes)
Can you shoot down a fireball. (No, despite how cinematic it would be. )
Can a ring of regeneration restore virginity (physically, but it won't fool the unicorns. )
We also get 7 more revisitings of previous questions, with the answers revised in light of new information. Skip ain't set in his ways. Skip is adaptable to please the laydees in every situation. )
TSR Previews goes yellow. Their budget for colour seems to be increasing these days. Anyway, On the generic side of things, we get DMGR2: The castle guide, and Monstrous compendium 5, Greyhawk. Both team efforts by the whole staff, they bring a whole bunch of old creatures into the new edition, and expand the mass system rules for sieges and all that jazz.
The Forgotten Realms sees this year's big event start. Troy Denning gives us FRA1: Storm Riders. Head east to escape the mongols, and wind up in wacky hi-jinks land. David Cook writes Horselords, the corresponding novel installment. (Both the start of a trilogy, au naturelle) Having just got over a plague of gods and reworking of it's physics, now the Realms has to deal with a barbarian invasion. Well, at least they're not trying to top themselves every year at the moment. Still, prepare for big chunks of your old setting info to be made obsolete.
D&D gets another module, tied in to it's recent boxed set. Arena of Thyatis sees some new characters learning the ropes in a relatively controlled environment. I'm guessing being captured and forced to fight in the arena is on the agenda at some point.
Marvel also gets an introductory module. MLBA1: Mutating Mutants. I don't think the nature of your character's origin stories are in any question if you use this one.

And finally, it seems they're still trying their luck with new boardgames now and then. Fantasy Forest sees them resurrect characters from the D&D cartoon, and use them in a game for younger players. Who will reach the magic castle first? Anyone remember this?