Let's read the entire run

Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 1/6


75 (100) pages. We get reminded that a critical part of Warforged is the being forged part. Which just like human sex, is a long, hot, messy process with plenty of waste material. And it looks like they have plenty of company in an issue full of articles about artificially created creatures. That's another theme they haven't done before. Well done to them for spotting this niche and filling it, and let's hope their brainstormings have more ideas lined up.


Scan Quality: Moderate, some mis-sized pages, indexed, ad-free scan.


In this issue:


Editorial: The editorial this month is a pretty straight bit of self-promotion, with Erik talking about what's coming up, and why you should be excited about it too. Templates might be nice, but all new creatures are what really gets his juices flowing, as then the players have no idea what tricks to expect. On the other hand, big names are nice too, and they have a ton of them lined up for their 30th anniversary issue. So as an editorial of two halves, neither really has a lot to say. Guess I'd be better served putting my focus on the actual articles when they arrive.


Scale Mail: The demonomicons are the first thing praised this month, which is quite understandable. That doesn't mean they'll be increasing their frequency to every month though. They'd run out of previously established demon lords in barely a year.

Also getting unconditional praise is all the stuff in issue 339. May they do many more like it in the future.

On the other hand, the recent run of cheesecake covers gets quite rightly criticised. They'll have to do something about that.

Also getting praised is their current policy of putting fewer prestige classes, and more alternate class features and general tricks in. Of course, these too will eventually hit diminishing returns. It's all cycles and waves.

On the other hand, it seems to be the right time to bring back the old settings. People just can't get enough of them, and WotC would have to do a lot more before that became the case.

Finally, we have two people who find Class Acts their favourite part of the magazine, which once again reminds me different people are in it for different things, and it's a real challenge for them to please us all. As long as they keep trying, that's the important thing.
 

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Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 2/6


First watch: Back to 4 pages. It looks like the extras for the release of stormreach were a one-off. Anyway, this month's generic product is the Tome of Magic. Quite different from the 2e ToM - where that gave the existing classes cool stuff, this provides 3 all new and strongly experimental ones, with their own unique systems. Binders, shadow mages and truenamers. Not quite as cool overall as magic of incarnum, but still fun to play with.

The Realms get their own epic level sourcebook - Power of Faerun. Last edition they let characters go to 40th level where most other worlds could only manage 30. And in 3.0 they got rough epic rules before the official handbook came out. So continuing this trend of obscene power seems fitting. Includes stuff on actually becoming a mover and shaker in the world too, which is a definite plus in my book.

Only one D20 book this month. Not too surprisingly, it's another Green Ronin one. The Masterminds Manual for Mutants & Masterminds is of course their equivalent of a DM's handbook, full of stuff to customise your game. Seems more like a WW Storytellers handbook than a DM's one, but those are useful too.

Tons of minis this month, albeit some rehashed. Once again, they promote the War Drums Minis set heavily. They're also releasing a new D&D starter game focussed around it. That is intriguing. Goodman games also tie in with their other products with minis based on their DCC line. No-one else is really doing modules in that kind of number anymore, so they have an open field to clean up in. On top of that, there's a deluxe Jareth mini to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Labyrinth, and another line of generic fantasy minis from Mega Minis. People may not be playing wargames much anymore, but there's no shortage of materials to play them with.

Drizzt gets his recent comics compiled into a graphic novel. But no new books, apparently. Are they not making any, or simply not promoting them here?

An interesting sideline this month is a bunch of books that aren't directly RPG related, but still have quite a bit of inspiration for you to try out. Cryptozooology, history books, stuff on mythology. Ahh yes, going outside the subculture for inspiration can definitely help. It's a big world out there, not everything needs statistics.

Final Fantasy 12 is our upcoming computer game. They join in on the steampunkishness, with the overall ambience renaissance, airships playing a big part, plus the usual bishis, chocobos and moogles. This franchise continues to be incredibly popular, even if it is slowing down a bit in release rates.

And finally, we have another collection of t-shirts with geeky stuff on them. Yawnarama. Can't say these grab my attention.


Demonomicon of Iggwilv: Another real world demon this month. Baphomet, prince of beasts. Lord of minotaurs, and served by Goristro, Bulezeau and other horned creatures, he lives in an endless maze and has a vicious never ending rivalry with Yeenoghu, demon prince of gnolls. But he's not just some dumb raging brute. He also has a strong scientific mind, creating all manner of strange things in his disturbing laboratories. Indeed, this is one of the more expansionistic Demonomicon entries, attributing the creation of whole bunch of existing monsters to him. Never trust statements like that, as demons are notorious liars and braggarts. Fairly formulaic entry here, although the blending of warrior and scientist, but not spellcaster is interesting. He might not be as bizarre looking or unique as some of the other demon lords, but being lost in an endless maze can still be pretty scary. Still, overall, this isn't as interesting as previous entries. While still thoroughly gamable, this series is starting to lose it's novelty, and doesn't seem to be improving in terms of writing and design. Ho hum.
 

Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 3/6


Forging friends: Familiars got a fair number of articles in previous editions, but this seems to have dropped off lately, with Issue 280 being the last big one, 5 years ago. Which is funny, given how much easier it is to customise stuff in in 3e. Oh well, they're back again, with a whole bunch of variant familiars that you build, rather than summon. It may cost you more, but greater power and hopefully loyalty is probably worth the price.

Copper Asps spit good ol' con draining poison on anyone who disses their master. Which means you can act dignified and disapproving while still teaching people a serious lesson. Muahaha.

Crystal Cats take their cues from Hellcats, being so transparent they're near invisible, which makes them pretty handy as spies. It does make them even more fragile than most familiars though. All cats demand attention, I guess these are no exception.

Erudite Owls are one of the highest level of these, and get quite handy divination spell-like abilities of their own to add to yours. With a high Wisdom as well, they might well spot problems that you would miss on your own in both exploration and social situations.

Glass Dragonflys are all about the flying speed. Oh and color spray from their prismatic wings. Not as stealthy as the cats then, but still able to get away from most pursuers.

Mercurial Spiders are your own tiny T-1000, able to slip through the smallest crack or disguise themselves as any inanimate object of similar size and look really cool while changing shape. They're another poisonous one too, so they can really do some damage if they catch an enemy unawares at night.

Razor Hawks use their sharpened wings to make fly-by attacks, which'll make killing them a matter of holding your action to strike as they pass. They'll still go down pretty quickly if you do get a solid hit though, like most familiars.

Salvage Rats aren't made of a particular type of metal, the important thing is the symbolism of rescuing it from the scrapheap. They have the lovely power to rust enemy armor, which makes them stand out quite nicely. And indeed, I think all of these have enough finesse in their tricks to make up for their lack of physical power if played smartly. Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are SUBTLE and quick to anger.


Full frontal nerdity gives thanks for Janet Jackson's breasts. My, they are topical quite frequently in here.


Automatons for Amateurs: Golems continue to be one of those iconic monsters everyone knows about, and has a million amusing variants. However, it is true that they tend towards high level, so it's a bit tricky to fill a whole campaign with them the way you can undead, fiends or dragons. (if you count pseudodragons, lesser drakes, etc) Since that does sound like a cool theme for an adventure path, so let's hope these guys do indeed fit the bill and let us go for achievable challenges right from 1st level.

Fungus Golems appeared in issue 255, in a rather more specific and interesting form. Oh. It's going to be one of THOSE sorts of articles is it? :Sigh:

Junk Golems are the big brothers of Salvage Rats, and are quite handy because they can self-repair by incorporating stuff from the people they fight. They also get a rusting ability, which always pisses off gearhead adventurers. Muahaha, as per standard.

Paper Golems sound only slightly more threatening than chocolate or plush golems, and indeed, they are CR1, which means they'll go down in a single hit against scissors or fire. Just don't be silly and try bludgeoning attacks, because they'll just bend around them.

Tin Golems appeared in issue 156, where they were big toy soldiers in classic april tradition. This time round, they're all serious and boring, with their most distinctive feature being greater manual dexterity than the average golem. Yawn. Another reminder of what we've lost over the years.

Wax Golems let you do the creepy animate dummy thing which has been used to great effect in TV shows like Dr Who. I doubt experienced players will be caught flat-footed though, since it's hardly an uncommon occurrence.

Wood Golems previously appeared in issue 119. This appears to be yet another case of independent evolution though, as they don't share and features statistically or fluffwise. So it goes, when it's such an obvious material to use. This article definitely isn't winning any awards for originality or inventiveness from me.
 

Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 4/6


Arcane upgrade: We've gone from little constructs to big ones, and now we're doing the PC ones. Makes perfect sense to me. Warforged have always got unusually good treatment for a non-core race, and it looks like that's continuing here, with a whole load of magic items that they can incorporate into their form. Let's see how many of them are interesting, and how many are merely conversions of existing items.

Circlets of the Third Eye let you see invisible things and penetrate darkness. That's always a handy one for dungeoneers, and the only drawback is that it's pretty obvious when it's active, and can be attacked independently of the rest of your body. Being ogled by eyes on stalks just doesn't make you positively inclined towards someone.

Disks of Illumination turn you into a living light bulb to penetrate dungeons and dazzle anyone trying to fight you. It's not as impressive a deterrant as nymphs or medusas, but it'll do for a start.

Disks of Shadow go the other way, and let you do the mysterious shrouded stranger thing without having to bother with cloaks and hoods. Well, you're a warforged. What use are human clothes to you?

Gauntlets of the Deft Hand boost both your crafting and roguish skills, ensuring you'll always have something of value on hand to sell later. Like knives, you can't really ban things like this because they have so many legitimate uses along with the naughty ones.

Gauntlets of Excavation let you out-dig any dwarf for an hour a day. I think they might still have the edge in finesse and stamina though, as they're bred for it, while you're only made.

Iron-tooth Girdles let you turn your stomach into a giant jagged-toothed maw. Now your eyes will never ever be bigger than your belly again. That's some fascinatingly disconcerting visuals.

Jewels of Dazzling Light let you control pretty lights for both combat and social purposes. If you're in the underdark, it'll help you fake being a Drow convincingly too. Shame your body heat'll let you down in making the disguise complete.

Scorpion Brands let you sprout a nice stinging tail. That'll put the wind up anyone who's vulnerable to poison. Other warforged can relax. Species Solidarity!

Spring-heeled Boots let you go all kangaroo on us, leaping small buildings and outpacing most enemies. Just don't try to stop mid-duration, as they're designed for constant motion, or you'll fall over on us. Hit the road, jack, and don't you come back, no more no more no more no more.

Stones of Internal Fire let you heat yourself to boiling temperatures for short periods of time. This will do some damage to you, but if you're any good at grappling, more to the people around you. Just make sure you aren't wearing anything fragile when you activate it, as that would be terribly silly.

The Clone Mask is the most powerful of these, letting you split your upper body into two and gain the appropriate extra attacks and vision bonuses. Very cool looking indeed. This collection has managed to give us some decently imaginative additions to our arsenal.


The ecology of the Inevitable: Now, if Lovecraft's influence has increased in D&D, the one thing that's decreased is the kind of whimsy that resulted in the Modrons. Man, someone in the development team must really have a hate-on for them. So the formians took their aspect as teeming hive creatures spread across the plane, while Maruts got a whole family of similar creatures created, and the now genericised Inevitables took their job as the exemplars of Lawful Neutral behaviour. Course, they don't mention that, and instead make this another instance where they whitewash D&D's actual history in favour of inventing a new IC one with creatures we've never even heard of before. As with the lizard man one, this does leave a sour taste in my mouth. As they're trying to tackle a whole bunch of related creatures in the same page count, each gets considerably less depth than they would in a normal ecology. So I'm not very impressed by this one. Next!
 

Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 4/6


Arcane upgrade: We've gone from little constructs to big ones, and now we're doing the PC ones. Makes perfect sense to me. Warforged have always got unusually good treatment for a non-core race, and it looks like that's continuing here, with a whole load of magic items that they can incorporate into their form. Let's see how many of them are interesting, and how many are merely conversions of existing items.

Circlets of the Third Eye let you see invisible things and penetrate darkness. That's always a handy one for dungeoneers, and the only drawback is that it's pretty obvious when it's active, and can be attacked independently of the rest of your body. Being ogled by eyes on stalks just doesn't make you positively inclined towards someone.

Disks of Illumination turn you into a living light bulb to penetrate dungeons and dazzle anyone trying to fight you. It's not as impressive a deterrant as nymphs or medusas, but it'll do for a start.

Disks of Shadow go the other way, and let you do the mysterious shrouded stranger thing without having to bother with cloaks and hoods. Well, you're a warforged. What use are human clothes to you?

Gauntlets of the Deft Hand boost both your crafting and roguish skills, ensuring you'll always have something of value on hand to sell later. Like knives, you can't really ban things like this because they have so many legitimate uses along with the naughty ones.

Gauntlets of Excavation let you out-dig any dwarf for an hour a day. I think they might still have the edge in finesse and stamina though, as they're bred for it, while you're only made.

Iron-tooth Girdles let you turn your stomach into a giant jagged-toothed maw. Now your eyes will never ever be bigger than your belly again. That's some fascinatingly disconcerting visuals.

Jewels of Dazzling Light let you control pretty lights for both combat and social purposes. If you're in the underdark, it'll help you fake being a Drow convincingly too. Shame your body heat'll let you down in making the disguise complete.

Scorpion Brands let you sprout a nice stinging tail. That'll put the wind up anyone who's vulnerable to poison. Other warforged can relax. Species Solidarity!

Spring-heeled Boots let you go all kangaroo on us, leaping small buildings and outpacing most enemies. Just don't try to stop mid-duration, as they're designed for constant motion, or you'll fall over on us. Hit the road, jack, and don't you come back, no more no more no more no more.

Stones of Internal Fire let you heat yourself to boiling temperatures for short periods of time. This will do some damage to you, but if you're any good at grappling, more to the people around you. Just make sure you aren't wearing anything fragile when you activate it, as that would be terribly silly.

The Clone Mask is the most powerful of these, letting you split your upper body into two and gain the appropriate extra attacks and vision bonuses. Very cool looking indeed. This collection has managed to give us some decently imaginative additions to our arsenal.


The ecology of the Inevitable: Now, if Lovecraft's influence has increased in D&D, the one thing that's decreased is the kind of whimsy that resulted in the Modrons. Man, someone in the development team must really have a hate-on for them. So the formians took their aspect as teeming hive creatures spread across the plane, while Maruts got a whole family of similar creatures created, and the now genericised Inevitables took their job as the exemplars of Lawful Neutral behaviour. Course, they don't mention that, and instead make this another instance where they whitewash D&D's actual history in favour of inventing a new IC one with creatures we've never even heard of before. As with the lizard man one, this does leave a sour taste in my mouth. As they're trying to tackle a whole bunch of related creatures in the same page count, each gets considerably less depth than they would in a normal ecology. So I'm not very impressed by this one. Next!
 

Well, after exactly 67 months, I can finally say I've finished the writing for every single print issue of Dragon Magazine, and with a nice buffer built up by the end as well. It'll still be a few months before I can lay this to rest for good, but at least now I can say for certain that it will be done unless I die suddenly from misadventure.

In the meantime, I'm looking for a more permanent place to store these, so people can find and comment on particular issues easily. Which blogging sites let you change the dates of your posts easily, so you can set them even to dates before you signed up?
 


Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 5/6


Wormfood: So we approach high levels in our adventure path. This of course means gamechanging powers start to have serious ramifications on your adventure design. Here we examine the effect they have on wilderness travel. Mere distance is no longer much of an obstacle, with flight and teleportation able to transport individuals easily, and whole groups with a bit of effort. On the other hand, it's still a big world out there, and magic can only find things if you know what you're looking for in the first place. You're not free from legwork and logistical hassles by a long shot. Obviously, this can't cover all the stuff from the many supplements and even more third party products, and you know how much those empower clerics and wizards in particular; but it manages to touch the bases. Still, this is one article that feels way too short. They really need to put more detail into advice for running high level games, to match up with the increased complexity and decreased experience people have in that area. Overall, I'm not satisfied with this.


Bazaar of the Bizarre: Another burst of magitech here. Well, it's in theme. And it gives you easy options by taking stuff from reality. A bit lazy though, given the number of times they've done it in the past. Just crank the formulas, that'll get us through another month.

Battering Balls don't need no chain. They'll break down your door and bash out your brain. Fo shizzle. Gnomes in da house again.

Clairaudience Beetles scuttle around and record stuff for their masters. Seen you before. Will squash you if I see you again.

Floating Books come when called and hover in a position convenient for reading. Now that's what you get the wizard who has everything. They'll then spend tons of time and money rebuying their existing stuff in the new format. :D Now THAT's progress.

Flying Lanterns do much the same as flying books and continual light balls, only with better decoration. It's all about the ergonomics dudes. Now sponsored by Apple.

Poison-dart Wasps are for when your spy beetles have gathered enough info to know someone needs taking out. It keeps on attacking until it hits. Send several at once and you can be pretty confident they won't swat them all.

Trick Coins let you win bets effortlessly. Ahh yes, this oldie but goodie. See how much you can make before they catch on and you have to skip town.


Spellcraft is tied in with our new book this month, in a way of giving readers a peek at the mechanics, and therefore encouraging them to buy it. Binders are the first new class, and they're also the one that time has been kindest too. It's no surprise that they're getting the attention here. Nicely though, they avoid rehash, and present us with two new vestiges, making this still useful once you've bought the book. There have been some bad tie-in articles over the years, but this is not one of them.

Kas should be pretty familiar to you, as with many vestiges. Along with his sword, this is another avenue for him to affect the world, and try to somehow get revenge on Vecna. In the meantime, he encourages you to be superficially friendly but treacherous to those around you, and his powers let you be a backstabbing bastard better, with bluff bonuses, blinding crits and the chance of negating other's crits. Pretty decent suite of powers really.

Primus is not the current one, but the one killed by Orcus during the events of The Great Modron March. It's obviously not happy about this, and encourages you to spread law across the multiverse with greater ruthlessness than the current Modron hierarchy. It's powers are actually pretty quirky though. Bonuses for repeating the same actions in successive rounds. Chaos smiting, magical commanding without them being aware of you. Again, both good powers, and cool. This has been a refreshing article, doing something a little different, and doing it well. Hopefully shadow mages and truenamers'll get some love too in future issues.
 

Dragon Issue 341: March 2006


part 6/6


Sage advice: Can a monk make disarm, sunders and trips during a flurry of blows (Yes. But not attacks you can't do with a monks weapons, like bull rushes and overuns )

If a rogue gets multiple attacks, can they sneak attack for all of them (If they meet the requirements each time. Rogues is much nasstier in battle than 2nd edition)

Do you apply all bonuses from the previous attack to the attack you get from cleave. (Unless that makes no sense, precious. )

If you have 0 HP and you cleave someone, do you drop to -1 before or after handling the extra attack ( Before. If you have great cleave you can cut down lotses before you collapse. )

Can you cleave if you drop someone with an AoO (Oh yess, preciouss)

Can you trip someone with an AoO (Yess.)

Does that let them attack you back if you fail (yess. Revenge is sssweeet.)

Does uncanny dodge let you ignore feints (No)

Can a rogue feint, then use a missile attack (no)

How many attacks does a creature with multiple natural weapons get while grappling (All of them. Beware grappling hydras. Nassty things.)

When using power attack or combat expertise, do the penalties apply to opposed attack rolls and grapple checks (yes and no. Grapples aren't attack rolls, so they don't apply.)

Can you score a crit on a grapple roll (no)

If you threaten a critical on a true striked attack, does the bonus apply to your confirmation roll (Yess. Not likely to fail, are you, preciouss. )

Can you perform a coup de grace with a ray spell (no)

Is a coup de grace an evil act. (What'sss so wrong with putting them out of their missery, huh?)

If you ready your spear, do you have to attack whoever charges you (no)

Is a double weapon considered two handed or light (Either, depending on how you usse them. Very verssatile, yess?)

Can you make a shield attack as your primary weapon. (Ass long as you're prepared to make your actual weapon the secondary attack.)


Class acts: Adventurers gives us some Soulknife love this month, with 10 new Mind blade feats. Once again their new method of organization lets them do stuff they couldn't before, and support classes from the supplements. Now you can really specialize in slicing people to shreds without worrying about it being suboptimal compared to someone with a big magic weapon. Maybe you could pick up vow of poverty as well. :p

Arcane gets familiar flavoring. 7 new familiars for your wizards and sorcerers to pick up. Nothing particularly surprising here, apart from the Dark Chanting Goshawk. (is that a real animal? Why that over any other subspecies? Strange.)

Divine does for druids and rangers what it did for clerics last month, collating the spells in the corebook by school. Which is similarly dull. Definitely filler material.

Warriors get Martial Cultures, 12 new backgrounds that show you how you can adapt rangers and barbarians to the various demihuman races. These are rather more radical than most backgrounds, including modifications to their racial abilities and class features. Once again, we see how small changes to actual abilities can be parlayed into massive fluff recontextualizations. I approve.


Nodwick is possessed by tharzidun. This is obviously not good. Dork tower tries to rules lawyer in a stupid way. Zogonia is inspired by surrealism this month. I'm not sure I approve. Order of the stick pays back their unpaid for hit points. With interest.


Not really that keen on this issue, as it has an annoying combination of churning the formulas and forgetting the past. When you're adding setting stuff, you need to pay more attention to what came before than new bits of disconnected crunch. Plus it's particularly problematic when the new things that replace the old are quite noticeably less interesting. It makes me wonder if there's any good new ideas in the world. Oh well. I'd better see if they've got any new jokes to tell next month. After all, the internet has certainly thrown up a good number of them, so all they have to do is google and convert them to a roleplaying-appropriate form.
 


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