Ludicrous Magics

[Aleolus]

I am working on coming up with a new school of magic, which has been outlawed in most areas, not because it's overpowered or dangerous or anything, but simply because it's completely ridiculous. I have ideas for some of the spells within it, but I am needing help with more spells for it, as well as effects for some of the other magics I already have. Here's what I have, with the simplest way I can express them for now.


Fire Bowler
Level: Sorc/Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Standard Action
Range: Close (25 feet +5 feet/caster level)
Target: See text
Duration: Instant
Saving Throw: None
Spell Resistance: Yes
This spell summons a bowler hat, made out of fire, which you may then throw at a single target as a ranged touch attack, inflicting 1d6 points of fire damage per caster level. It also deal splash damage to all creatures adjascent to the primary target. The splash damage deals 1d6 per two caster levels, with a Reflex save for half. The verbal and somatic components for this spell are very similar to the components needed for the Fireball spell. As such, anyone who fails their Spellcraft check to identify this spell by 5 points or fewer instead believes the caster is casting Fireball.


Ludicrous Speed
Level: Sorc/Wiz 6
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Swift action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature Touched
Duration: 1 round/caster level or until discharged
Saving Throw: Will negates (Harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes (harmless)
The target of this spell gain a +3000 enhancement bonus to their move speed. However, they can only move in a straight line while under the effect of this spell. Once a person affected by this spell begins moving, they must keep moving, or else the spell will discharge. Discharging the spell requires the target make a Fortitude save (DC 30) or be flung 2d6 feet forward, and rendered prone. Creatures moving while under the effect of this spell leave a trail of plaid in their wake.


Summon Pie I-IX
Level: Sorc/Wiz 1-9
Components: V, S
Range: See Text
Duration: Until consumed
Target: None
Saving Throw: See text
Spell Resistance: No
With this spell, you summon one of the following types of pies. Pies with beneficial effects must be consumed to gain the effect, while pies with detrimental effects must be thrown at their target, requiring a ranged touch attack.
Summon Pie I: Goodberry pie (Restore 6d4 hit points)
Summon Pie II: Blueberry Pie (Deals 1d6 cold damage/caster level, cap of 10d6)
Summon Pie III: Blackberry Pie (Regain 3 spell levels, divided up as the eater chooses)
Summon Pie IV: Mincemeat Pie (?)
Summon Pie V: Peach Pie (Target creature gains a 1d6 Enhancement bonus to their Cha score)
Summon Pie VI: Lemon-Merrange (Target creature takes 5d10 damage)
Summon Pie VII: Shepard Pie (Sheep fall from the sky around the affected creature, dealing no damage, but if the target was casting they need to make a Concentration check (DC 10+spell level+your casting stat), or lose the spell. They also must make a Will save or fall asleep, as the Sleep spell)
Summon Pie VIII: Cherry Pie (?)
Summon Pie IX: Apple Pie (Creature is affected as with an Empowered Heal spell, a Regeneration spell, and a Restoration spell)


OK, that's what I've got so far. Now, remember, the point of Ludicrous Magic is that it's magic, that is effective and useful, but is still absolutely silly.
I have a thread about this on the Wizards forum, which can be found here

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

What about Ludacris magic?

MOVE!
Level: Sorc/Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Standard Action
Range: Close (25 feet +5 feet/caster level)
Target: AE 1 hex/sq line per caster level.
Duration: Instant
Saving Throw: Ref negates
Spell Resistance: No

Upon shouting "Move! Get out the way!" and making a shoving gesture, you generate a telekinetic force that clears out one hex/square line in the direction of the gesture.


LUDA'S IRRESTISTABLE DANCE
Level: Sorc/Wiz 2
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Standard Action
Range: Close (25 feet +5 feet/caster level)
Target: 1 creature in LOS of caster, of sex opposite to caster
Duration: 1 rd/caster level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

The caster says "When I move, you move!" while dancing and the target is compelled to mimic the caster's moves as best as it possibly can.

 

[Bladesong]

At one time I had created a pantomime magic class where all the spells were completely somatic where the character had to basically act out the effect they were trying to accomplish. Some of it may be what you are looking for...I will see if I can find it. In case I cannot find it here are a couple of spell effects I kind of remember: The character pulls back and lets loose an imaginary bow and the target is struck with an arrow (lasts 1 rnd/lvl, 1d6 damage, range 50'). Character pretends he is holding a shield and gains a +2 armor bonus just as if he is wielding one (arm is occupied, lasts 1 min/lvl). Charater acts out the "standing behind an invisible wall routine" (effect is a lesser wall of force). Anyway, you probably get the idea. So the way a spell is cast could also fall under ludicrous magics.

 

[Naszir]

Personally I prefer Busta Rhymes magic:

Don't Touch Me Now (You might burn yourself)

Level: Sorc/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Casting Time: 1 Standard Action
Range: Self
Target: Self
Duration: 4 min
Saving Throw: Reflex (Half)
Spell Resistance: No

When casting this spell the caster is wreathed in flames. The caster may take no other actions other than moving and must continue with bombastic gestures and complex rhymes in order to keep concentration on the spell. Anyone touching or touched by the caster takes 1d6+1 damage per level of the caster up to 5d6 +5 max.

 

[Aleolus]

Well, then, I suppose another spell I came up with would fit in here, wouldn't it? Originally, it was a Bard spell, but I suppose there's no reason why I can't expand it to Sorc/Wiz as well >.>


Can't Touch This
Level: Brd 2, Sorc/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Range: Self
Target: Self
Duration: Concentration (See text)
Saving Throw: None (harmless)
Spell Resistance: No

This spell makes the caster untouchable by almost any attack. In order to cast this spell, the caster must succeed on a Perform (Dance) check (DC 15), as the spell's somatic component. It lasts for as long as the caster continues to make Perform (Dance) checks, and gives the caster a Deflection bonus to their AC equal to their Perform (Dance) modifier.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

DOOM PIE:

Identical in all ways to Acid Arrow, except instead of a ray, it manifests as a meringue pie, the contents of which are extremely acidic lemon filling capable of dissolving flesh.

CHICKEN OF DEATH:

Identical in all ways to Disintigrate, with the following exceptions: instead of a ray, it manifests as a stuffed chicken doll which must be thrown at the target. This also limits its range to Close.


CHICKEN OF THE SEA:

Identical in all ways to Baleful Polymorph exceptions it is one level lower, and transforms target only into a can of fish. The target's senses and mental stats remain unchanged.

APHASIC CENSOR:

Transmutation/Wild Magic
Level: Brd 2, Sorc/Wiz 3
Components: V, S
Range: Close
Target: One living creature
Duration: 1rd/caster level
Saving Throw: Will (see below)
Spell Resistance: No

This spell afflicts the target with a curse of partial silence and garbling. Any words- magic or mundane; regardless of language- spoken by the target are subject to being "bleeped" or having other words substituted for them if they sound even remotely like something lewd in the caster's native tongue.

At the caster's choice, the target's language is either bleeped- a sound like a bagpipe or one of several barnyard animals (cow, sheep, rooster) is substituted for the word- or a similar sounding but possibly meaningless phrase is seamlessly substituted for the original words.

This renders most speech garbled but understandable, but spells with somatic components may actually fizzle. If the target makes a Will save to recognize the problem, he may then make an opposed Spellcraft roll to overcome the Aphasic Censor. If he does so, the Censor ends.

 

[R1C0F3TT]

Face of Hilarious Death
Sor/Wiz 4
Components: V,S
Range: (See text)
Target: One living Creature
Duration: Concentration +1 rounds/three caster levels
Saving throw: Fortitude Partial (See text)
Spell Resistance: No

Upon completion of this spell, the great magics that you have summonded contort your facial features so they appear unbelivably hilarious to specified creature. The creature that you specify then sees your face and must make a fortitude save to stop himself for bursting out in laughter.

The affected creature must be able to see your face. If a creature makes a spellcraft check to tel that your casting this spell, may close their eyes, but should they open them, they will be affected by the spell.

If the creature makes its fortitude save, it is stunned for one round. If it fails it's save, it falls prone and for every round that you concentrate plus 3 per caster level, it can take no actions, and it takes 1d4 points of damage every round. Once you end the spell, the creature procedes to vomit and then is sickened for anouther 1d4 rounds.

 

[roguerouge]

Tasha's Hideous Laughter: unchanged.