D&D 5E Military food in dnd

[Bacon Bits]

What foodstuffs would the dnd military have?

I think it would be very similar to this sort of fare

The worst rations I think would probably be hardtack.

The same guy made a whole series just on pemmican, too.

 

[Cap'n Kobold]

What foodstuffs would the dnd military have?

Whatever they have, you can bet that the troops complain about it.

 

[R P Davis]

Whatever they have, you can bet that the troops complain about it.

That seems to be true of every soldier throughout the multiverse.

Bob

 

[Sacrosanct]

That seems to be true of every soldier throughout the multiverse.

Bob

Heh. Largely true. Although when I was on a French base in Mostar, Bosnia, their food was pretty good. It sounds weird, but the bread was awesome just by itself. I could eat nothing but their bread and be very happy. Best bread I ever had.

And the MREs from the Spanish Army were really good too. We in the US had some decent ones too, like Chili Mac, and Chicken and Rice. I could never complain about those.

 

[R P Davis]

Heh. Largely true. Although when I was on a French base in Mostar, Bosnia, their food was pretty good. It sounds weird, but the bread was awesome just by itself. I could eat nothing but their bread and be very happy. Best bread I ever had.

Yeah, but they weren't your rations, were they?

Seriously, the French combat rats were Teh Bawmb. I remember trading for those in Somalia. To further prove my point, they hated their rations and loved our MREs.

Lunatics.

'Course they were Legionnaires. That might account for a lot.

And the MREs from the Spanish Army were really good too.

Never had those. I wonder what those were like.

We in the US had some decent ones too, like Chili Mac, and Chicken and Rice. I could never complain about those.

I have a really awful story about a C130 full of paratroopers and a Chicken Stew MRE. LOL

I always loved Tuna with Noodles, myself.

 

[Sacrosanct]

Yeah, but they weren't your rations, were they?

Seriously, the French combat rats were Teh Bawmb. I remember trading for those in Somalia. To further prove my point, they hated their rations and loved our MREs.

Lunatics.

'Course they were Legionnaires. That might account for a lot.



Never had those. I wonder what those were like.



I have a really awful story about a C130 full of paratroopers and a Chicken Stew MRE. LOL

I always loved Tuna with Noodles, myself.

Maybe what made the Spanish ones so good was because there was a lot of chocolate and sweetened condensed milk lol. But some of the entrees were good too, and both the French and Spanish ones has stoves, instead of those stinky MRE heaters that only worked half the time. French ones were really heavy on pate lol. I think MREs and pron were the two biggest traded items between us

And of course we were all pretty creative with them, like putting sugar and creamer in with the freeze dried fruit pouch. That was pretty good. Or the aforementioned Chili mac when you put in a packet of cheese spread in with it. Tuna and noodles was OK, but not my favorite.

Keep in mind this was all in the 90s, so I'm sure so much has changed now. I wish they still had the tobasco sauce in the accessory packet though. the only way to make some meals edible...

And I was a Blackhawk crewchief, so yeah, I have plenty of stories of aircraft+MREs = Me with a hose as soon as we land.... :/

 

[R P Davis]

those stinky MRE heaters that only worked half the time.

...which made awesome improvised pyrotechnics, as I'm sure you learned from the infantry.

I think MREs and pron were the two biggest traded items between us

I didn't have any pron, so we had to make do with food and tobacco. I traded a lot of Red Man chew for Gauloises.

And of course we were all pretty creative with them, like putting sugar and creamer in with the freeze dried fruit pouch.

FRUIT COBBLER! We added the crackers, too, all mashed up.

Keep in mind this was all in the 90s, so I'm sure so much has changed now.

I imagine. They changed a lot after I got out in '99. I never used the Tabasco. I did used to put the instant coffee in my lip like Copenhagen, because I needed the boost and never had time to brew actual coffee. Tasted foul, but hit your bloodstream like WHAMMO. LOL

And I was a Blackhawk crewchief, so yeah, I have plenty of stories of aircraft+MREs = Me with a hose as soon as we land.... :/

Yeah, those Air Force guys came to our barracks that night with a list of demands.

We should probably stop hijacking the thread with "no there I was" stories.

 

[abe ray]

Along these lines, what drinks would dnd military use?


Sent from my iPhone using EN World mobile app

 

[R P Davis]

I see no reason why it'd have to be appreciably different than Medieval or Early Modern real-world armies.

Finding sufficient supplies of clean potable water along the route of march is impossible. Historical armies relied on water at their peril, hence the rations of weak beer (or wine), as well as the supplies of the raw ingredients for brewing, as outlined above.

If the water can be somehow treated, whether magically treated or created by magic, dysentery can't really happen. However, I think that'd run into the magic "economy," also outlined above, where I mused on food.

Before anyone goes all wonky about staggering, drunken soldiers, keep in mind we're talking about weak, weak ale. Less than 2% by volume, consumed over a long period, does not lead to impairment. The brewing process removes harmful microbes, and retains proteins and other nutrients which supplement the cheese-and-hardtack ration.

Regards,

Bob

www.r-p-davis.com

 

[jasper]

[3D][/3D]

Whatever they have, you can bet that the troops complain about it.

General Jasper, "So what Capt Kobold! Complaining troops are happy troops! Get back to me when they quit griping!"

edit to add.
I was going to post my endless water decanter write up. But it is from 3E. But a person water needs are 2.5 quarts or 2.36 liters to maintain health.

 

[Warmaster Horus]

A minor tangent ... I read a treatment about why the Incas did not expand significantly via conquest. Had to do with the their beasts of burden (llamas) and their fodder needs compared to their carrying capacity of goods for a traveling army. At a certain point they became unable to transport significant logistics to support a campaign.

 

[thenightgaunt]

For adding flavor to a game, I've introduced 2 different army meals into my games. Both with great effect.

1. Dwarf Bread - I stole this one from Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, but it carries over REALLY well. Believe it or not, there are still fantasy fans out there who haven't read through any of Pratchett's work. But his Dwarf Bread is so wonderfully dwarvish that no one ever complains about it's addition or thinks it's out of place even in Forgotten Realms. Ok...so they do complain about it, but usually it's just because they find their characters stuck with nothing to eat except dwarf bread. I've had players contemplate eating goblins instead of relying on dwarf bread.

2. Orc Meal - Ok. I heard about this one years ago and stole it, but I don't know who came up with it. Orc meal is a sausage prepared by orcish cooks to feed members of a horde while at war. It's also the bane of all orcs and their version of Iron Rations. The idea is to stretch real food as far as possible. So Orc Meal is a large, haggis like sausage that's about 15% "animal byproducts", 30% grain, 30% misc "edible" plant matter, and 25% sawdust (as filler). It's practically inedible to anyone other than an orc. Best fried and serve with literally anything to cover the flavor.

 

[Hussar]

Soylent Troll [sblock] ..it's made of troll[/sblock]

It is heavlyy flavoured to taste like chicken and salted to last. You can feed 200/day men on a single troll, assuming you make sure to remove its limbs and jaw.

Heh, I know this is a joke, but, I actually read a Can of Troll magic item somewhere or other.

When you think about it, a D&D world makes provisioning an army a REALLY different thing. Let's peruse our Monster Manual for a second shall we ((Note, all this is of course campaign specific))?

• Animated Wagons for carting around your crap would be a HUGE thing and not that terribly difficult to make.
• Violet Fungus are medium creatures and grow in 2-12 days. Evil armies might cart them around and feed captives to them creating easily transported food.
• Obviously undead armies/units have their own ...errr... feeding practices
• Giant Beetles, particularly giant Fire Beetles would make an excellent food source

I'm sure there's more stuff out there.

 

[Gardens & Goblins]

Heh, I know this is a joke, but, I actually read a Can of Troll magic item somewhere or other.

When you think about it, a D&D world makes provisioning an army a REALLY different thing. Let's peruse our Monster Manual for a second shall we ((Note, all this is of course campaign specific))?

• Animated Wagons for carting around your crap would be a HUGE thing and not that terribly difficult to make.
• Violet Fungus are medium creatures and grow in 2-12 days. Evil armies might cart them around and feed captives to them creating easily transported food.
• Obviously undead armies/units have their own ...errr... feeding practices
• Giant Beetles, particularly giant Fire Beetles would make an excellent food source

I'm sure there's more stuff out there.

Bulette digging machines (or Umber Hulks)

Ooze siege weapons. Stuff them in a container, catapult them over the wall. Or simply use them as waste disposal.

..and of course, all manner of devices powered by undead on treadmills/repeating the same action over and over and..

 

[MarkB]

The Prestidigitation cantrip still allows you to warm and flavour food, right? So you just make your rations the most godawful combination of mystery-meat jerky and dried grain etc., then have one low-level wizard for each company to warm and flavour them into something vaguely palatable.

Call them MREs - Meal Ready to Enchant.

 

[Olospreckler]

Well, most medieval armies would count on being able to live off the land as they go, requisitioning farms for example. Rations would be things like cured meat and heavily salted fish, food that can last for a long time without a fridge.

 

[Mad_Jack]

Heh, I know this is a joke, but, I actually read a Can of Troll magic item somewhere or other.

Troll rations were one of the many reasons why I know more than one old-timer kept the head and chest of a troll in their bag of holding...

 

[finalduck]

Well seeing as they never ever go off, no matter how long your PCs keep them, I'd say that it'd be similar to WWII rations, like Spam, those awful biscuits (which were probably the real life inspiration for the Dwarven "stonemeal biscuits" that Tony Vargas mentioned), smarties if you want some chocolate, etc.

 

[jasper]

The Prestidigitation cantrip still allows you to warm and flavour food, right? So you just make your rations the most godawful combination of mystery-meat jerky and dried grain etc., then have one low-level wizard for each company to warm and flavour them into something vaguely palatable.

Call them MREs - Meal Ready to Enchant.

To former SGT MarkB. As of this writing, you are demoted for cause to PFC. How dare you make troops lives nice.
Signed
Col Jasper Morale Officer.

 

[abe ray]

Any MAGICAL military food in dnd?