Mini Encounter Contest: Heat Three
- Thread starter Morrus
- Start date
Nail
First Post
Morrus said:
Arrgg....this 'un's a hard one. Filled with "character" this list is....y'all should've put in more spellin' errors and gramatical mistakes ...makes me feel at home.....
I'll shoot down the 'easies' first:
*Down by the Sea: Yep, it's got a character an' a location....not much goin' on, but they're there, alright.
*Pond Scum: Ummm....if yer players fell fer this....have I got a no-risk, 100% profit gauranty deal fer them.....jes' send 'em on down to Honest Nail's Pre-owned Helmet Shop.....
*Hunter in the Darkness: Huh? Oh, a vampire......right, boys, get out yer standard-adventuring issue wooden stakes.....
*Multhana Veloor at the Ship on the Mountain: Jus' one thing....ambushing lone PCs is, err, not likely to win any brownie points from tha' players.......that, an' a gnome airship?
Okay, now the selection gets harder:
*Bibliothèque: always had a soft spot fer Ents. Don't know why. If only there was a good link between the "why" an' th' "where". Why is the library here? It's not likely ta be a "random encounter" right? Seems like the location would need lots of explanation outside of this description. An I wish the treant had a better backstory.
*Narvesh: Good stuff, but.....again, you'd need a bit o' back story work ta make this make sense. That, an the "old wise man" motif is....errr....old.
*Kole Blak and the Seven Dirty Dwarves: If this was cleaned up it'd be good (heh, heh, heh...). Seriously, if the motivations and descriptions were tightened up, it would be a winner.
*Culinary Delights: A fav. fer many, I'm sure. I'm jus' not a fan of stickin' Douglas Adam's material in a D&D game. Restaurant at the End of the Universe or no, it's jus' too contrived fer me. But then again, I'm a humourless b*stard. :^P
*Dark Valkyrie: Gonna have ta go with this one. Needs some more character work on the half-fiend, and some spookier stuff in th' cathedral, but over all good. The character is useful with minimal work. The location can be stuck anywhere, an' yet, it's memorable. The puzzles are fun......And look....it followed the rules of the contest.......
-Nail
Mistwell
Crusty Old Meatwad
Standard Rant: Here are my comments on this heat. I'm not doing this to be critical of people, or judge them or their entry, or influence votes in any way. I'm only doing this because I know that I like honest feedback on my work, and I assume others want that as well. That said, I'm not looking for a debate on my opinions (they are just my opinions, which means they are only worth whatever value you put on them, which is probably none .) I also won't mention who I voted for in each batch.
To make sure I don't influence people's votes in any way in favor of my entry (I just entered the contest for fun, to get my feet wet on writing adventures in preparation for other contests that have more serious prizes at stake), I've asked a friend of mine to write their own opinion of my entry, and I have/will insert that opinion in the appropriate place instead of my own. That friend is fairly critical of stuff, so it probably won't help my chances (as if anyone really cares). Maybe my entry is in this batch, and maybe not .
A brief word on this discussion about the rules. Pretend for a moment you are writing an adventure for Dragon Magazine and/or Dungeon. They have editorial (and time constraint) rules that you MUST MUST MUST obey. There is no spirit of the rules, there is no sorta-follows-the-rules. You follow them, or you get rejected. Period. This contest is, in a way, a test for people who want to write adventures for various d20 publishers in the future. In that sense, following the rules may be more important than the content of your entry. So, I am personally placing a lot of emphasis on your ability to follow the rules when voting. But then, I am a lawyer by trade, so I am probably way more anal about that sort of stuff than others.
For reference, here are the Rules:
1) Entry should consist of three pages. The first page should contain the encounter, the second page should describe (and, if necessary, map) the location and the third page should include your NPC, complete with background, roleplaying notes and combat tactics (if relevant). Your entry may optionally contain one fourth page for illustrations or maps; this is not compulsory.
2) You may not exceed one page for each of these elements, and your text should be in Times New Roman font (or similar) at a font size of 12 points.
3) The full 3-page document should bear a title and an indication of its Encounter Level, and sent as an email attachment to me at morrus@d20reviews.com.
4) The location and the NPC should be useful independently of each other and of the encounter itself.
5) The encounter should be one that can be easily inserted into most campaigns.
6) The encounter should be clear and easy to run.
Enough ranting, on to the entries:
Culinary Delights (EL? Does not meet rule 3 EL): I really enjoyed this encounter. Comedy relief is one of the things I look for in mini-encounters for my campaign, and this one provides that. However, I did note a couple of annoyances: 1) There is no EL for this one, 2) The NPC could be separated from the location, but it would lose something in that separation. Chef Gregory III belongs in the Traveling Tavern, and taking him out of that context would harm both the NPC and location, 3) My biggest complaint is there is no real encounter here. The only “encounter” is the introduction to the location, with a “There is definitely more to THIS story”. Gee, thanks for those details. We see some hints of what the Chef is going to do with potions and some spells, in the NPC description, but they are very vague, and leave a LOT for the DM to work on before the encounter is ready to be run. I really liked this one, but it left a lot unsaid. Finally, this is only one of two entries this Heat that actually comes close following all the rules. That’s nice to see.
Down by the Sea (EL5). I liked the character background. The solitude of the Druid’s life is well described here. In addition, the crab “army” is interesting, and I can see using that in a game. On the down side, no atempt is made to separate the location and the NPC. The whole thing is intrinsically linked.
Multhana Veloor at the Ship on the Mountain (EL 6) (AKA "A Fine Young Cannibal ate my 99 Luftballoons”, nice 80’s music ref). Things I like: The whole thing follows all the rules, and both the “cannibal” NPC and the crashed Skyship are interesting elements that can be used outside this encounter and easily slipped into any campaign (unless you just hate anything that hints at steampunk). I really like the interestly twisted mind of the cannibal NPC, who uses skins of her victims for armor, and their bones for weapons. Things I did not like: The stat block is complete, perhaps too complete, for the NPC. Looks like not enough room was left for tactics on how Multhana separates her victims to feast on. Overall a really great encounter.
Pond Scum (EL 7). I had to mess with the formatting to get this one to flow correctly. Esmurea is an interesting NPC, and I liked the description of the pool’s creation. I would have liked to have heard more about why she was kicked out of her clan. On the down side, perhaps it’s a formatting issue, but I could not for the life of me figure out which section was the encounter, which the NPC, and which the location. They all seem to be mixed together, and I have no way of separating the various elements for use outside this encounter.
Dark Valkyrie (EL 8). At first, when I saw that the enounter, NPC and location were not on their own pages, I assumed there was a page limit violation. Well, in case anyone else was wondering this, once I threw appropriate page breaks in there, it all worked out fine. Each section is less than a page, and does not violate those rules at all. As for the encounter itself, I like Swanhild, and could see using “it” in my games. It’s a villan than can grow in experience along with the party, assuming it can escape an encounter. The location itself is rather uninteresting, unfortunately. Swanhild is mentioned in the location, but could be easily removed.
Kole Blak and the Seven Dirty Dwarves (EL? Does not meet rule 3 EL): My very first impression of this encounter, once it was pasted into a word document, was that it has a very nice map. Not sure what program was used to make it, but I appreciate the time it took to create. Second, all of the page limitation rules were violated for this encounter. The encounter itself pours onto a second page (almost half way down in fact), and the location spills into another page as well. The NPC is short at least, but once it is formatted with page breaks, we are looking at a 6 page enounter, which just flys in the face of the rules. Finally, my favorite thing in this encounter is Kole Blak, one of the NPCs. I really like it when evil is manifested in the things it wears and uses, and Kole does that well. We have Giant spider leather armor, Cloak of Shadow black spider silk, and toratsume hand claws. That fits the character well, and adds some nice color.
Narvesh the Seer (EL ? Does not meet rule 3 EL): First impression? Some margins cheating, which is not mentioned specifically in the rules, but I feel violates the spirit of the rules. With only minor editing on the author’s part, I think this could have been avoided (and should have). That said, I like Narvesh. His motives are well described, and you can see why his history lead to this kind of a life for him. However, Narvesh is directly linked to the location, and heavily mentioned in it. It doesn’t have much use without the NPC. Narvesh’s description also directly relates back to both the location and the encounter.
Bibliothèque (EL 11). First impression is that this enouncter break rule 2, font size, many times. The font is often reduced to 10, rather than 12. Ordinarily this is not a “technical” rule, and by breaking it, the author increases the amount of space they have to write, and that is a significant advantage. However, once I changed the font size back to 12, the page limits were still not violated. So, I have no idea why the author did these font changes, but I don’t think it’s a huge issue. I did like the treant in this encounter, and can see using him in my game.
A Hunter In The Darkness (EL 15). I like Ian and Hank, and the idea behind the vampire is well thought out. The location and NPC’s are all directly linked, however. The location itself is fairly uninteresting, though I suppose I could always use another farm house in my game.
-Mistwell
To make sure I don't influence people's votes in any way in favor of my entry (I just entered the contest for fun, to get my feet wet on writing adventures in preparation for other contests that have more serious prizes at stake), I've asked a friend of mine to write their own opinion of my entry, and I have/will insert that opinion in the appropriate place instead of my own. That friend is fairly critical of stuff, so it probably won't help my chances (as if anyone really cares). Maybe my entry is in this batch, and maybe not .
A brief word on this discussion about the rules. Pretend for a moment you are writing an adventure for Dragon Magazine and/or Dungeon. They have editorial (and time constraint) rules that you MUST MUST MUST obey. There is no spirit of the rules, there is no sorta-follows-the-rules. You follow them, or you get rejected. Period. This contest is, in a way, a test for people who want to write adventures for various d20 publishers in the future. In that sense, following the rules may be more important than the content of your entry. So, I am personally placing a lot of emphasis on your ability to follow the rules when voting. But then, I am a lawyer by trade, so I am probably way more anal about that sort of stuff than others.
For reference, here are the Rules:
1) Entry should consist of three pages. The first page should contain the encounter, the second page should describe (and, if necessary, map) the location and the third page should include your NPC, complete with background, roleplaying notes and combat tactics (if relevant). Your entry may optionally contain one fourth page for illustrations or maps; this is not compulsory.
2) You may not exceed one page for each of these elements, and your text should be in Times New Roman font (or similar) at a font size of 12 points.
3) The full 3-page document should bear a title and an indication of its Encounter Level, and sent as an email attachment to me at morrus@d20reviews.com.
4) The location and the NPC should be useful independently of each other and of the encounter itself.
5) The encounter should be one that can be easily inserted into most campaigns.
6) The encounter should be clear and easy to run.
Enough ranting, on to the entries:
Culinary Delights (EL? Does not meet rule 3 EL): I really enjoyed this encounter. Comedy relief is one of the things I look for in mini-encounters for my campaign, and this one provides that. However, I did note a couple of annoyances: 1) There is no EL for this one, 2) The NPC could be separated from the location, but it would lose something in that separation. Chef Gregory III belongs in the Traveling Tavern, and taking him out of that context would harm both the NPC and location, 3) My biggest complaint is there is no real encounter here. The only “encounter” is the introduction to the location, with a “There is definitely more to THIS story”. Gee, thanks for those details. We see some hints of what the Chef is going to do with potions and some spells, in the NPC description, but they are very vague, and leave a LOT for the DM to work on before the encounter is ready to be run. I really liked this one, but it left a lot unsaid. Finally, this is only one of two entries this Heat that actually comes close following all the rules. That’s nice to see.
Down by the Sea (EL5). I liked the character background. The solitude of the Druid’s life is well described here. In addition, the crab “army” is interesting, and I can see using that in a game. On the down side, no atempt is made to separate the location and the NPC. The whole thing is intrinsically linked.
Multhana Veloor at the Ship on the Mountain (EL 6) (AKA "A Fine Young Cannibal ate my 99 Luftballoons”, nice 80’s music ref). Things I like: The whole thing follows all the rules, and both the “cannibal” NPC and the crashed Skyship are interesting elements that can be used outside this encounter and easily slipped into any campaign (unless you just hate anything that hints at steampunk). I really like the interestly twisted mind of the cannibal NPC, who uses skins of her victims for armor, and their bones for weapons. Things I did not like: The stat block is complete, perhaps too complete, for the NPC. Looks like not enough room was left for tactics on how Multhana separates her victims to feast on. Overall a really great encounter.
Pond Scum (EL 7). I had to mess with the formatting to get this one to flow correctly. Esmurea is an interesting NPC, and I liked the description of the pool’s creation. I would have liked to have heard more about why she was kicked out of her clan. On the down side, perhaps it’s a formatting issue, but I could not for the life of me figure out which section was the encounter, which the NPC, and which the location. They all seem to be mixed together, and I have no way of separating the various elements for use outside this encounter.
Dark Valkyrie (EL 8). At first, when I saw that the enounter, NPC and location were not on their own pages, I assumed there was a page limit violation. Well, in case anyone else was wondering this, once I threw appropriate page breaks in there, it all worked out fine. Each section is less than a page, and does not violate those rules at all. As for the encounter itself, I like Swanhild, and could see using “it” in my games. It’s a villan than can grow in experience along with the party, assuming it can escape an encounter. The location itself is rather uninteresting, unfortunately. Swanhild is mentioned in the location, but could be easily removed.
Kole Blak and the Seven Dirty Dwarves (EL? Does not meet rule 3 EL): My very first impression of this encounter, once it was pasted into a word document, was that it has a very nice map. Not sure what program was used to make it, but I appreciate the time it took to create. Second, all of the page limitation rules were violated for this encounter. The encounter itself pours onto a second page (almost half way down in fact), and the location spills into another page as well. The NPC is short at least, but once it is formatted with page breaks, we are looking at a 6 page enounter, which just flys in the face of the rules. Finally, my favorite thing in this encounter is Kole Blak, one of the NPCs. I really like it when evil is manifested in the things it wears and uses, and Kole does that well. We have Giant spider leather armor, Cloak of Shadow black spider silk, and toratsume hand claws. That fits the character well, and adds some nice color.
Narvesh the Seer (EL ? Does not meet rule 3 EL): First impression? Some margins cheating, which is not mentioned specifically in the rules, but I feel violates the spirit of the rules. With only minor editing on the author’s part, I think this could have been avoided (and should have). That said, I like Narvesh. His motives are well described, and you can see why his history lead to this kind of a life for him. However, Narvesh is directly linked to the location, and heavily mentioned in it. It doesn’t have much use without the NPC. Narvesh’s description also directly relates back to both the location and the encounter.
Bibliothèque (EL 11). First impression is that this enouncter break rule 2, font size, many times. The font is often reduced to 10, rather than 12. Ordinarily this is not a “technical” rule, and by breaking it, the author increases the amount of space they have to write, and that is a significant advantage. However, once I changed the font size back to 12, the page limits were still not violated. So, I have no idea why the author did these font changes, but I don’t think it’s a huge issue. I did like the treant in this encounter, and can see using him in my game.
A Hunter In The Darkness (EL 15). I like Ian and Hank, and the idea behind the vampire is well thought out. The location and NPC’s are all directly linked, however. The location itself is fairly uninteresting, though I suppose I could always use another farm house in my game.
-Mistwell
GruTheWanderer
First Post
Why doesn't voting bump a poll?
Seems like that would be a good feature.
I enjoyed reading the entries. "Culinary Delights" does seem like a fun idea to me, and "Dark Valkyrie" had a wonderful dark feeling to it.
However, I decided to vote for "Bibliothèque". The idea of a treant cartographer is quite fascinating. It's true that most people drawing maps of castles and towns would be under some suspicion, but not a tree. I could imagine placing him in a larger city or in the countryside. The location didn't have as much value without him, although had an interesting look at feel for a library.
Regards,
Gru
Seems like that would be a good feature.
I enjoyed reading the entries. "Culinary Delights" does seem like a fun idea to me, and "Dark Valkyrie" had a wonderful dark feeling to it.
However, I decided to vote for "Bibliothèque". The idea of a treant cartographer is quite fascinating. It's true that most people drawing maps of castles and towns would be under some suspicion, but not a tree. I could imagine placing him in a larger city or in the countryside. The location didn't have as much value without him, although had an interesting look at feel for a library.
Regards,
Gru
UniversalMonster
Explorer
I voted for Dark Valkyrie!
because the puzzle was clever and I love Valkyries. And other reasons.
because the puzzle was clever and I love Valkyries. And other reasons.
MavrickWeirdo
First Post
I really liked Multhana Veloor at the Ship on the Mountain except for one thing.
In encounter it says "The gnomish crew all made their way down the mountain about two months ago, taking everything valuable with them."
There's nothing valuble on the ship. No treasure. No Gadgets. What is the point of fighting a homacidal guide then getting no treasure. In spite of that I think I will vote for it.
In encounter it says "The gnomish crew all made their way down the mountain about two months ago, taking everything valuable with them."
There's nothing valuble on the ship. No treasure. No Gadgets. What is the point of fighting a homacidal guide then getting no treasure. In spite of that I think I will vote for it.
