Monte Cook killed my parents
- Thread starter JPL
- Start date
GravyFingerz
Gravymancer
How can Monte Cook kill your parents and eat your dog, when he doesn't even exist?
Plane Sailing
Astral Admin - Mwahahaha!
JPL said:
As in when you take your dog to the vets??
Aust Diamondew
First Post
rtghfgh
Monte is not real? huh?!?
Monte is not real? huh?!?
BiggusGeekus
That's Latin for "cool"
Re: rtghfgh
Strictly speaking, no.
You'll note that "Monte" is a little over 30 years old. right about the same time Dungeons & Dragons first appeared. This is no accident. Gygax and Arneson realized the game was well before it's time. They knew no one was truly up to the task of playing it. So they raided a few Diplomacy and Advanced Squad Trooper conventions as well as a theater troupe, the Harvard University mideval history department, and a roulette table at a Las Vegas casino. They took skin and hair samples from the best of who they found (and one spleen which was the direct result of a misunderstanding at the Diplomacy convention, the like of which is entirely understandable for those who play the game). From those human samples, the extracted the DNA and created the template for the perfect gamer.
But genetic technology wasn't as advanced back then as it is now. They needed to bring the seed to its fruition, but how?
The answer was found with the person of one Ms. Emily Emplesmith, a pie baker from White Plains, New York. Ms. Emplesmith gladly harbored the proto-Monte for the good of humanity.
Monte was raised by willing foster parents -- Gygax and Arneson were at the inital stages of their falling out (over the inclusion of the d12 and not, as history would suggest, over licensing issues) -- and has thus far exceeded all expectations. Monte is only now beginning to realize his power and will doubtless shortly ascend to his true role of My'dibs the prophesized gamer of legend who will usher humanity into a new era.
--BG
PS Monte, your parents told you about the whole adoption thing, right? Didn't mean to blurt it out on the boards like that if they didn't. Ciao!
Aust Diamondew said:
Strictly speaking, no.
You'll note that "Monte" is a little over 30 years old. right about the same time Dungeons & Dragons first appeared. This is no accident. Gygax and Arneson realized the game was well before it's time. They knew no one was truly up to the task of playing it. So they raided a few Diplomacy and Advanced Squad Trooper conventions as well as a theater troupe, the Harvard University mideval history department, and a roulette table at a Las Vegas casino. They took skin and hair samples from the best of who they found (and one spleen which was the direct result of a misunderstanding at the Diplomacy convention, the like of which is entirely understandable for those who play the game). From those human samples, the extracted the DNA and created the template for the perfect gamer.
But genetic technology wasn't as advanced back then as it is now. They needed to bring the seed to its fruition, but how?
The answer was found with the person of one Ms. Emily Emplesmith, a pie baker from White Plains, New York. Ms. Emplesmith gladly harbored the proto-Monte for the good of humanity.
Monte was raised by willing foster parents -- Gygax and Arneson were at the inital stages of their falling out (over the inclusion of the d12 and not, as history would suggest, over licensing issues) -- and has thus far exceeded all expectations. Monte is only now beginning to realize his power and will doubtless shortly ascend to his true role of My'dibs the prophesized gamer of legend who will usher humanity into a new era.
--BG
PS Monte, your parents told you about the whole adoption thing, right? Didn't mean to blurt it out on the boards like that if they didn't. Ciao!
Gargoyle
Adventurer
JPL said:
No, we can only kill it if it bleeds. (This I learned from a documentary on hunting from the noted mercenary/big game hunter Major Alan 'Dutch' Schaefer). And I have it on good authority (I think it was an article from The Onion reprinted in a Beijing editorial) that Monte is a genetically enhanced super turnip and cannot bleed.
