Monte Cook killed my parents

[BadMojo]

And ate my dog.

Actually, that was me. I ate your dog. Sorry.

 

[Furn_Darkside]

Actually, that was me. I ate your dog. Sorry.

Gee, that dog-free diet you were bragging about lasted a whole what? day?

Pfft.

FD

 

[Xaltar]

Perhaps Monte is a Doppelganger, killed your parents and then posed as them, raising you to be the gamer that you are today.

Now, would that really be such a horrible outcome?

Not to mention that at the next GenCon, you could go up to him and say something like, "My name is JPL, you killed my father, prepare to die!"

 

[RangerWickett]

What the hell are you guys talking about?!

 

[MeepoTheMighty]

What the hell are you guys talking about?!

A mod sweared! A mod sweared!

We can say whatever we want now!

Piss hell damn piss hell damn!

 

[BadMojo]

Gee, that dog-free diet you were bragging about lasted a whole what? day?

Pfft.

FD

I think you misheard me. It was a free dog diet, and not a dog-free diet. You lose weight by eating only the free dog meat you can scavenge.

 

[ForceUser]

I missed this thread because I was gaming

But I got to game, so it's all good.

Ask yourself: how many killer monkeys can a 2nd-level party whack in one night of dungeoncrawl? The answer will shock you!

 

[Welverin]

I missed this thread because I was gaming

But I got to game, so it's all good.

Ask yourself: how many killer monkeys can a 2nd-level party whack in one night of dungeoncrawl? The answer will shock you!

Hundreds?

More importantly how long till it makes it into an update?

 

[Zarthon]

Re: Re: rtghfgh

Strictly speaking, no.

You'll note that "Monte" is a little over 30 years old. right about the same time Dungeons & Dragons first appeared. This is no accident. Gygax and Arneson realized the game was well before it's time. They knew no one was truly up to the task of playing it. So they raided a few Diplomacy and Advanced Squad Trooper conventions as well as a theater troupe, the Harvard University mideval history department, and a roulette table at a Las Vegas casino. They took skin and hair samples from the best of who they found (and one spleen which was the direct result of a misunderstanding at the Diplomacy convention, the like of which is entirely understandable for those who play the game). From those human samples, the extracted the DNA and created the template for the perfect gamer.

But genetic technology wasn't as advanced back then as it is now. They needed to bring the seed to its fruition, but how?

The answer was found with the person of one Ms. Emily Emplesmith, a pie baker from White Plains, New York. Ms. Emplesmith gladly harbored the proto-Monte for the good of humanity.

Monte was raised by willing foster parents -- Gygax and Arneson were at the inital stages of their falling out (over the inclusion of the d12 and not, as history would suggest, over licensing issues) -- and has thus far exceeded all expectations. Monte is only now beginning to realize his power and will doubtless shortly ascend to his true role of My'dibs the prophesized gamer of legend who will usher humanity into a new era.

--BG

PS Monte, your parents told you about the whole adoption thing, right? Didn't mean to blurt it out on the boards like that if they didn't. Ciao!

Uh-Ha, Just as I always suspected

So the bottem line is...Monte rules

 

[JPL]

What the hell are you guys talking about?!

SPOILER WARNING

Well, my purpose was twofold.

First, to poke fun at a recent thread in which some worthy soul took great offense at a Monte Cook rant regarding corporations. Personally, I think of Monte as the guy who fixed the ranger and made a really good alternate sorcerer and has otherwise made great contributions to our hobby. Anyone gamer who says that he hates Monte because of some editorial rant needs to remember that Monte gets up early every morning, has a cup of coffee, and then makes really good games all day long.

Second, to plant a tiny seed of absurdity on a lazy Saturday afternoon.