This is very strong stuff, and I'm curious as to whether you mean it literally.
For example, in your game, suppose (i) it is already established that a PC is not gagged, is not in an airless environment, has not had his/her throat ripped out, etc, and (ii) the player of that PC says "I say XYZ". Does the player really need the GM's permission before that statement becomes true in the fiction?
In a way. The player won't ask permission, but just because he says it, it doesn't mean his character gets to say it. That is, if a PC says "I say XYZ" and there's nothing stopping him, then he says it. However, if I know that something will stop him, whether it's him noticing something, someone ready to stop him by attacking or cutting him off, etc., then the PC does not get to say that unhindered (or possibly at all).
It's not based on "I say XYZ. Okay?" That's not what I said. I just said that I determine if that's true or not. They can (and do) say, "XYZ" (they don't say "I say" first the huge majority of the time), and most of the time there's no problem. At no point is there a "I attempt to say XYZ" unless the circumstances overtly call for it.
Or suppose that (i) it is already established that the PC has a sword in hand, that there is an orc a few feet away from him/her, etc, and (ii) the player says "I swing my sword at the orc". Does the player really need the GM's permission before that attempted attack becomes part of the fiction?
Yes, but it's the same scenario. Most of the time, it's "I swing my sword at the orc" and then it's an attack roll. However, just because a player says as much, it doesn't mean it happens. And, I suspect this is true of 4e, too. Any interrupt action can stop the attack, or a readied action, or sometimes spotting something. For example, it might be:
Player: "I turn and attack the orc on my right."
GM: "Roll Spot."
Player: "Okay... 22."
GM: "When you turn your attention to this specific orc, you notice the hidden marking of the allied thief guild on the orc's forearm."
Player: "Hmm, but he's attacking. Then again, we know that someone in this very group we're fighting can cast
Dominate. Either he's enchanted, or he's a traitor, but either way I want him alive. I'll deal nonlethal damage."
GM: "You take a..."
Player: "Penalty to my attacks, yeah, I know. I'll attack anyways."
GM: "Go ahead and roll."
I doubt this situation is far off from 4e (not necessarily your group, but 4e). Thus, unless I say it's true, it doesn't happen.
I think most games, and most game tables, anticipate that the players have a degree of authority over at least some aspects of the fiction very intimately related to their own PCs (as in the examples I've given above, and perhaps others as well - eg the patterns of the stitching on the boots my PC starts with, or the style in which my PC's hair is cut).
Yep, this is generally true. However, if a player is acting in a very lighthearted way, and I say, "you're in a bad mood," he will almost certainly ask why. I might tell him a reason, or I might say, "you just are". Either way, I know why (and it's almost certainly magical in nature). PC mood is very intimate to a player, so I try not to override things like that.
Additionally, I've known all but one of the players for 13+ years, so I have a good grasp on what sets their PCs off most of the time, so I can say, "you're in a bad mood" with some certainty that they'll agree. If the player asks, "why?" and I say, "because you got food poisoning from that chef you've been trying to get rid of that's in a relationship with your love interest" I assume it's good enough for some players (but not for others). If, however, he says, "I'm probably a little annoyed, but my mood is fine," I might be surprised, but I'll let it go; that player knows the PC better than I do.
As far as hair styles and such go, I try to communicate generally different clothes styles, hair styles, etc. of each region, nation, or social status on the map (that is, if players are interested, or if it's dramatically abnormal or otherwise important). In my current game, you can have different amounts of status mechanically with your PC, and only the nobility are assumed to be tall, strong, attractive looking by default, due to the dietary habits, breeding, and the like. So, when one PC who was low Status said he was 5'11", I said, "that's probably too tall for your status. The average is closer to 5'4", but you theoretically be that tall. It'd just be pretty rare." He changed his height to 5'3" and we moved on (this is the player I've known for about two months now).
At any rate, yes, things get cleared before they happen in-game. That same player has two eyes of a different color once before, and when I noticed it was on his sheet, I told him to change it (there's a way to note such abnormalities mechanically, and he didn't take it). He asked if he could swap to get that mechanical "benefit", and I let him. I wouldn't've if he didn't swap out for it, though.
However, as I've mentioned, it's not, "can I have blue eyes? Can I have short brown hair? Can I say, "die, orc!"? Can I attack the orc?" It's almost exclusively "I do X", or the player saying "YZ" in-character. And, it's probably assumed true unless there's a reason to doubt it. But that doesn't mean it is by default. As always, play what you like
It's hard to know what Monte means when he says "shared reality".
I think he (and Vincent) are missing out - or perhaps just not stating - another element of RPG rules: they assign different values to different choices. That's how you build a game, I guess.
I think people are too focused on these statements (or at least Monte's). I think Monte was throwing out a summary, and is getting gaming philosophy back at him. I can't say for Vincent.
That's roleplaying, sure. You don't need rules to roleplay: "Imagine you are your garbageman" doesn't seem like a rule to me. That's where the game part comes in:
"Imagine you are your garbageman who has a limited amount of time to pick up garbage. If you go over that amount of time, you lose your job. If you don't pick up garbage from this route over here, you lose your job. If you don't pick up garbage from this route over here, no one cares. The more garbage you pick up, the greater chance there is that you will get a bump in pay. Here's the map; what do you do?"
Yep, no disagreements with this line of thought.
"No Bob, your fighter doesn't attack the monster, instead he wets his pants, drops his magic sword, and runs for the hills."
Now imagine that in a (dark ages) Call of Cthulhu game.
I've not played CoC, but I assume this would be fine in-game? No idea, really.
Think about the rules that make the DM's role different from the player's. Are those rules there to model stuff in the game world?
Considering I follow the rules they do when it comes to modeling the game world, yes. I mean, I have other things I do that are highly divorced from the rules, but so do the players. I don't use an exception-based design for my game. I don't build monsters or NPCs different than PCs do (though I do get to sum mine up within seconds or minutes, where they don't get to).
When it comes to actual rules of interacting within the game, the PCs and NPCs are even. Yes, I can say, "this guy is hit die 16!" and the PCs can't. However, there's no rules hardwired into the game telling me not to do that, or that I can't, or that I shouldn't.
If you're trying to say that some rules model the game world, and other rules help give a common ground to everyone at the table, then I agree, as that's what I said. If you're saying that it also involves something else, what did you have in mind? I'm open to more options. I'm just summing up here, anyways. As always, play what you like
