Most Outrageous Weapons

[Mark CMG]

In one campaign, oh so long ago, a DM handed out a singing sword . . . with hiccups. Every third turn it had a penalty to hit.

Ever heard of such a thing?

 

[zen_hydra]

I once started a campaign.

The PC's were 1st level and they all wanted to start with an heirloom magical item.

So I handed out things like a silver skull-cap shaped like a lettuce leaf with a incandescent light bulb on top (for one of our players, who was playing a character with mental stats that were higher across the board than his own), to another I gave an ever full snuff box, the only weapon I gave out was to a player who was whining for one, so he got a +1 long sword (the pommel of which took the shape of an ugly and deformed human head).

In play, the skullcap lit up when the character had an idea that the player didn't think of (but should have), the ever full snuff box remained...ever full, and the +1 long sword would scream "Hey, you guys!!!" (think Sloth, from The Goonies) every time that it detected danger (thus making the parties presence known to all well before they could get the drop on any of their enemies).

 

[freebfrost]

Way back in high school I knew a DM who handed out the triple-bladed sword from The Sword and the Sorcerer...

It was a Vorpal blade with a slew of other powers, and the two side blades shot off of the hilt, of course...

:\

 

[Tinner]

We had a player who continuously pestered the DM for a flaming sword.
Every games session, and multiple times per sessions. "I want a flaming sword!" over and over.
So finally the DM relented, and gave him a flaming sword.
A cursed, flamingly gay intelligent sword named Mary.
Mary had an incrediblely high Ego score, and forced the player to cross-dress, and prance about in a very stereotypical gay fashion. He deserved it.

 

[Breakstone]

One DM (this was back in the days of Middle School) gave the dwarven barbarian a magical Giant Venus Fly Trap named Scree. It could shoot fireballs (neat), but everytime it did so, it would say (in a very rediculous voice) "Scree!"

God we hated that plant.

 

[Ferret]

Sounds like an awesome plant.

I tihnk the most ridiculous weapon is the dire flail though.

 

[waterdhavian]

where to start...

In a campaign i ran several years back we had a Paladin which was a bit on the crazy and perhaps not the most Paladin-like. I never penalized him since he was playing his character to his fullest and we all had fun with it. Well one night the whole group got sloppy drunk and the paladin decides he wants to make a magic sword. The group also consisted of a dwarven wizard magic item creator. Now this was all well and good except the Paladin didnt have any magic creation feats, he did have some weapon craft, but he was sloppy drunk. So to make a long story short, and frankly no one recalls anyway, the paladin made a sword of slapping.

The sword of slapping is crafted from a hard piece of leather cut and made to resemble a longsword. It could only do nonlethal damage and when it got wet it could stretch to 30 feet.


weird enough..

 

[kolikeos]

Sounds like an awesome plant.

I tihnk the most ridiculous weapon is the dire flail though.

definetly, how the heck do you use that thing without hitting yourself, it's hard enough to use a normal flail that i considerd making it an exotic weapon.

this theard gives me lots of nasty ideas...
a flaming sword with the hilt flaming instead of the blade
a short longsword that shortens every time you strike
arrows of poo that don't deal damge but smell real bad
a plated boot that strikes for the groin (unbalancing both user and victim)

 

[Mark Hope]

Way back in high school I knew a DM who handed out the triple-bladed sword from The Sword and the Sorcerer...

It was a Vorpal blade with a slew of other powers, and the two side blades shot off of the hilt, of course...

:\

Heh, I did this in high-school too and also made the central blade vorpal. Sounds like a fine DM to me

I also once handed out an obscure magic item I found in the Encyclopedia Magica (called a "foot-ball", iirc). When you placed it on the ground, it would roll around after you. When you picked it up again, it would tell you how far you had travelled. No other powers whatsoever. Wonderful little gadget. The player who had it didn't seem all that impressed, though. Can't think why... (well, other than the fact that it was a very low-magic campaign and he was 8th level before he got any other items). Another character in the same game spent the first 6 levels of his career with a magical incense burner - it's only power was that it never needed refilling. He later got a life-draining longsword, though, so I guess that balanced things out...

In my first couple of years of gaming I made a bunch of "Uber-Swords of the Gods", including a flame-blade that could launch 30-dice fireballs and another lifestealer that could shoot spheres of annihilation out of its tip. I eventually came to my senses and they were conveniently lost in a volcanic eruption. As you do.

 

[Wombat]

It's all about the Swiss Army Polearm...

(see attached)