Most Unexpected/Funny Ways the PCs Killed A Creature

[molonel]

In 3.0, my dwarf rolled a natural 1 on a psionic power that caused you to attempt to commit suicide in the next couple of days. I asked the DM if I could wait for a couple of weeks when we were meeting with an adult green dragon named Vevictus to negotiate a deal for his help.

The DM felt that it had enough dramatic potential, so I got the thumbs up. I knew I was toast.

So I interrupted the negotiations and challenged the dragon to a duel, single-handed. I promised 10,000 gp worth of platinum to the dragon if he killed me, and since I had a merciful weapon, he did not risk death if I won (ha ha).

I charged. The dragon took his AoO as I moved through his threatened areas and rolled .... a natural 1.

My first hit was a crit with a two-handed warhammer (x3).

I dropped the dragon in three rounds. Since I was 12th level, and hadn't decided my feat, I talk Leadership, and took the adult green dragon as my cohort.

My bad luck with dice is legendary, so the victory was even more mysterious, as a result.

 

[Darklone]

And then the dwarf was soooo happy to kill himself ?

 

[Old Drew Id]

I forget what the exact creature was, but in our AoW campaign, we were near the top of a waterfall fighting a regenerating flying humanoid outsider. Our hits weren't doing much to him because of the regeneration, and his spell resistance was high enough that our spells weren't knocking him out either.

So, I look at my cleric's equipment list and see the feather token (anchor) that I had been carrying around for about 10 levels. The dwarven fighter mentions that he has a pair of manacles, and we all proceed to start a grapple. By aiding another and the use of some action points, we pinned the guy, popped out the anchor, hand-cuffed him to it, and shoved the anchor over the side of the waterfall.

The feather lasted for a while; I think it was 24 hours, and because the guy was an outsider, he didn't need to breathe, so later on we went swimming and saw him just sitting there under the water, waiting for the effect to end.

I realized later that, if he had thought about it, he could have cut off his own hand to remove the manacles, and the regeneration would have allowed him to reattach it later, but I'm guessing that never occured to him.

 

[sniffles]

The party had entered a small walled town that had just been struck by some kind of magical cataclysm. As they began to investigate, they found that something had apparently turned some of the residents into undead.

They were rushing to the town hall to search for survivors when they were suddenly accosted by a horde of zombie dogs. The GM had even bought a whole pack of plastic zombie dogs and began spreading them out on the battlemat.

Then the sorcerer PC realized she knew wall of flame. Whoom! One wall of flame later, and there were a lot of toasted zombie dogs lying on the ground.

The GM was very disappointed he'd gone to all the trouble to put those plastic zombie dogs on the table for nothing.

 

[BlackMoria]

In one 2E campaign, our group was heading for a ruined keep and we got encountered by a hill giant at close range (we came around a corner in a ravine at the same time the giant did.

Now, our party was only 3rd level and it as a hill giant. The DM cackled with glee while the rest of us blanched and discussed our very limited options. It wasn't good - at melee range with a hill giant and any option looked dire because one or more of us was going to get splatted.

Being the cleric, in desperation, I reviewed what spells I had and the only thing I could bring to the party that even had a remote chance was the spell - Command.

Everyone was glum. We rolled initative and I went first, followed by the giant. Now, the wording of command was vague enough to allow any "one word" command.

DM: "Your go. Make it good cause the giant is starting the upswing of the large spiked club. It makes a good driver and you make a good golf ball"

Me: "Ok. I cast Command. The one word is MASTURBATE.

The DM looked startled for a moment and broke into laughter and said he would allow it. He rolled for a save and the giant failed.

DM: "On the giant's turn, he lays on the ground, drops his loincloth of hide and starts to abuse his gianthood..... the rest of you can do your actions now."

It took about 15 minutes for everyone to recompose themselves enough to continue. Bottom line - we killed the giant with his loincloth around his ankles.

 

[Nebulous]

A Midnight campaign:

The players are in a boat that is capsized by ghouls and an undead ogre. They make it shore, kill the little guys, but the ogre is swinging a chain in a circle of death. There's almost no where to run. The ogre chases them to a coral rock, but the pc's have no light source, no darkvision, no way to effectively see where they're going except by moonlight. They split up, and one PC finds a narrow crevice leading deeper into the rock. He shimmies in, the undead ogre squeezing after him.

What ensues is a desperate grapple as the ogre attempts to haul the PC out feet first. The pc is screaming his head off, kicking and kicking because he's pressed back as far as he can get. He keeps getting AoO and bashing the thing in the head, managing by pure luck to keep it at bay, and finally kicks it enough to crush its sodden skull in.

The ogre dies (again) but has now CRAMMED the crevice with its bloated stinking corpse. The pc has to force his way (roleplaying this btw) across and through and over this thing's reeking buttcrack, and slither out to the beach front.

now THAT was a memorable fight.

 

[Stalker0]

Come on, I so expected to hear more quaal feather token: tree stories

This one wasn't rules legal we realized later but it was funny.

NIGHT FANG SPIRE SPOILERS!!!











So we get to the top of the tower with the moon calf and my necromancer is flying around. I cast spectral hand and then ghoul touch on the moon calf. He fails the save, and since he's paralysed he can't fly. He falls down into the hole in the top of the tower and down serveral storeis into a nest of ghouls. Not much left of it after that.

 

[Savage Wombat]

Me: "Ok. I cast Command. The one word is MASTURBATE.

Actually knew a GM who used this all the time. Although he also felt that one round was barely enough time to get your pants down.

 

[shilsen]

Me: "Ok. I cast Command. The one word is MASTURBATE.

*stands up and waves*

"Hi. My name is Shil. I've used "Masturbate" as a Command too."

Just the fact that the average low Will melee type would drop his weapon and start taking his pants off was good enough to make that worthwhile.

 

[Chimera]

Call of Cthulhu game. Set in 1920's England, but we've crossed the Atlantic to deal with something in Connecticut. It turns out to be a town of Fishmen.

Before we get there, we are captured by another town, which is full of snake people. Our psychologist is physically modified by them and we're given a large number of stakes pre-poisoned with something that is deadly to the fish people, the enemies of the snake people.

So we're attempting to scout out the fish town late one night when they discover us and set upon us. Running battle hill-top to hill-top as we retreat. We place all of the spikes on the road way, as punji sticks/land-mines. We attempt to make a stand on one hill top, when they unleash Dagon upon us.

Dagon comes tromping down the road, right over a large number of spikes. The GM decides that he'll make Dagon make a save, since the poison is virulent to his people, but don't get our hopes up. GM rolls a critical failure, worst possible result. Dagon falls over dead. The rest of the battle was a route, as the fish people fled back to town, then back into the sea.


Of course, that just kinda sorta made up for the adventure where we were supposed to protect an MP (Member of Parlaiment). Our Engineer happen to be standing directly behind the MP with an Elephant Gun (double barreled very high caliber rifle) when the Byakhi came into view. Critical failure on his Sanity Check, high San loss, Critical Fumble of the gun.

Blew the MP in half.

Oops.