My dice hate me...

[Dave G]

What do I do? I've tried sleeping with them; 'sleeping' with them; storing them sorted by sides, colors, and size. A friend of mine told me size doesn't matter, but I tried anyway. I've held them in my mouth; I've held them other places; massaged them and cleaned them all with non-abrasive cleanser.

Why do they not put out? I can't get any penetration on my attack rolls, while my defense rolls leave me wide open and ready to take anything that's thrust at me... I fumbled all my skill checks and I don't know what to do!?!

 

[drnuncheon]

My wife claims that in her younger days, she experienced better luck with her dice when she kept them in her bra between rolls.

However, I cannot recommend this course of action for you.
Not only is it a long way from Kansas to Pennsylvania when you want to roll your dice, but she would also break your arm when you went to get them.

J

 

[Chriskaballa]

Here's what I suggest doing.

Step One: Carry a sledgehammer and some Ziploc bags to every game you play with your dice.

Step Two: When a die rolls a one more than twice in the same game session, or reaches the limit where it is really starting to hinder your ability to survive, revome the die from the area.

Step Three: In a controlled environment, proceed to smash the die into dust with the sledgehammer. Place the sledgehammer aside and collect the dice dust in a bag.

Step Four: Place the bag in front of all your other dice. Threaten your other dice with the same fate if they do not roll higher.

Step Five: Return to gaming. When you roll dice now you should see an increase in high die rolls.

Step Six: If any die continues to be an offender, follow steps 3-5 again.

*NOTE* If you run out of dice in one or two sessions with this method, it can be concluded that your dice are loaded, that you are just plain unlucky, and/or God hates you.

~Chris

 

[Furn_Darkside]

I am just glad you have not seen the web page they put up about you- then you might really feel hurt.

FD

 

[hong]

Not only is it a long way from Kansas to Pennsylvania when you want to roll your dice,

That sounds like a rock'n'roll song.

Drivin' down the highway, need to get more dice
Played in all the game days, handin' out advice
Gettin' robbed, gettin' stoned,
Gettin' beat up, broken boned
Gettin' had, gettin' took
I tell you folks it's harder than it looks

It's a long way to PA when you want to roll your dice
It's a long way to PA when you want to roll your dice
If you think it's easy doin' one night stands
Try playin' in a PBM
It's a long way to PA when you want to roll your dice

(insert bagpipes)

 

[Dave G]

A web-page... about me? Where!!!

 

[Enkhidu]

I know exactly what you mean.

My dice hate you too.

{Edited for atrocious spelling and other sundries}

 

[Quickbeam]

I've sent you an email with a Word document attached that may offer some insight into solving your problem. Good luck!!

 

[Bill Door]

eT Tu?



shiVer...

 

[Dave G]

The word document was great, now I must go try charging my dice with radioactive energy! Thanks!

[edited to fix naughty emoticon]