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My wife won't let me play D&D.
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<blockquote data-quote="Joshua Randall" data-source="post: 401641" data-attributes="member: 7737"><p>Greetings. I'm facing a situation that I don't know how to handle. Maybe y'all can help me.</p><p></p><p>I have a beautiful wife whom I love very much. We've been married a short time and have had some disagreements, but they've all been worked out. Except one. She hates it when I play D&D!</p><p></p><p>Here are some relevant facts:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">We are both 30 years old.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">I always think she will be more open minded about D&D, because she has some gamer blood in her. She likes playing board games (e.g., Settlers of Catan, Tigris & Eufrates) and card games (e.g., pinochle, Oh Hell).</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">However, she associates D&D with abject geekiness.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">The friends I would be playing with are all in their 30s with jobs, wives, and (for some) families. In other words these are not the stereotypical uber-dorks who work at the comic store and still live in their parents' basement.</li> </ul><p></p><p>My wife's specific objection is that playing D&D takes too much time, time that I could be spending with her or "doing something useful." She gets practically enraged about the fact that the other guys want to play on the weekend. (I <em>might</em> be able to talk her into letting me play on a weekday, but that's irrelevant because the other guys can't do it then.)</p><p></p><p>What should I do?</p><p></p><p>Please do not say "get a divorce" or "grow some you-know-whats". Those are not helpful replies. And I'm not going to appreciate anything along the lines of "your wife's a witch", either. (She may be, but she's <strong>my</strong> witch, dammit! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> )</p><p></p><p>Here are some things I've thought of doing:</p><ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Playing up the friendships at stake. In other words, these are my friends and I want to spend time with them. Playing D&D is how we pass our time together - it's a very social game.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Inviting her to observe a session. Haven't done this because (1) we are a bit rambunctious when we play (swear a lot, for example) and therefor (2) I am afraid of what her reaction would be to observing us.</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">Patiently explaining what D&D is like by comparing it to things she appreciates. For example, emphasizing the problem-solving aspects of D&D which compare to similar features in board games that she likes.</li> </ul><p></p><p>Frankly I don't think any of the above is going to help.</p><p></p><p>Have any of you faced a similar problem with your wife or husband? What did you do?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Joshua Randall, post: 401641, member: 7737"] Greetings. I'm facing a situation that I don't know how to handle. Maybe y'all can help me. I have a beautiful wife whom I love very much. We've been married a short time and have had some disagreements, but they've all been worked out. Except one. She hates it when I play D&D! Here are some relevant facts: [list] [*]We are both 30 years old. [*]I always think she will be more open minded about D&D, because she has some gamer blood in her. She likes playing board games (e.g., Settlers of Catan, Tigris & Eufrates) and card games (e.g., pinochle, Oh Hell). [*]However, she associates D&D with abject geekiness. [*]The friends I would be playing with are all in their 30s with jobs, wives, and (for some) families. In other words these are not the stereotypical uber-dorks who work at the comic store and still live in their parents' basement. [/list] My wife's specific objection is that playing D&D takes too much time, time that I could be spending with her or "doing something useful." She gets practically enraged about the fact that the other guys want to play on the weekend. (I [i]might[/i] be able to talk her into letting me play on a weekday, but that's irrelevant because the other guys can't do it then.) What should I do? Please do not say "get a divorce" or "grow some you-know-whats". Those are not helpful replies. And I'm not going to appreciate anything along the lines of "your wife's a witch", either. (She may be, but she's [b]my[/b] witch, dammit! ;) ) Here are some things I've thought of doing: [list] [*]Playing up the friendships at stake. In other words, these are my friends and I want to spend time with them. Playing D&D is how we pass our time together - it's a very social game. [*]Inviting her to observe a session. Haven't done this because (1) we are a bit rambunctious when we play (swear a lot, for example) and therefor (2) I am afraid of what her reaction would be to observing us. [*]Patiently explaining what D&D is like by comparing it to things she appreciates. For example, emphasizing the problem-solving aspects of D&D which compare to similar features in board games that she likes. [/list] Frankly I don't think any of the above is going to help. Have any of you faced a similar problem with your wife or husband? What did you do? [/QUOTE]
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