Need Best Man instructions

[Thunderfoot]

The toast is pretty much required (start thinking about it now). The batcholer party is usually a tradition - but the stripper's and stag films are nearly a thing of the past - the wedding is usually much easier to stomach if you're sober.


As for "other duties as assigned" it may include keeping groom from seeing bride before wedding, being the "hired muscle" to make sure the bridesmaid can pull off thier bacholerette party (keep the groom away) or to keep unruly ex-boyfriends from showing up to wedding, or keep unruly guests out of the reception (usually you just tell the other groomsmen to "handle it")

As for historical tradition - the reason for dressing the same way as your groom is so demons wouldn't know who was getting married and couldn't figure out who to spook (yep, you're ghost bait dude) and in case of an honor duel, you would stand in so the groom wouldn't die (yep, you're also sword fodder). So basically, you're the best expendable friend your brother has, congratualtions

 

[Laurel]

- organize the bachelor party
- make the first toast to the couple at the reception
- make sure that the wedding goes smoothly (with the help of the bridesmaid).

This is a good list, Altamont Ravenard, and really lists it all I think.

I would underline the toast 'to the couple' part, I have seen many that are just to one of the couple. In all honesty though, most speeches are remebered by those who gave them and the couple and that's about it. So don't sweat it too much.

Bachelor party I would say if you want it to be the stripper everyone pucking the next day maybe have it the weekend before the wedding or just not the two day window before the actual wedding. But it all depends on the family and youe brother and his soon to be wife

Also, I would just say that in the 'making sure the wedding goes smoothly' includes getting the groom to the ceremony before time, making sure he is not drink or hungover at wedding, and he has a good time. This includes making sure there are video games at hand if he likes those. I just include this since I have actually been part to weddings that had more strung out grooms then brides

Congratulations to your brother and his soon to be wife!

 

[daBooj]

you know your brother (I hope, I mean, you're his best man). What would he like. Your roll is as others said, to make sure things go smoothly. But even more so, it's to make sure he's ok and comfortable. It's ok to have a good time, but your attention should be on him. Make sure he enjoys the day.

If he wants a big bachus party, throw him a dionysien (sp?!) feast. If he would rather just get together with his good friends and have a few quiet drinks... that's more important.

the toast... prepare something. But don't try too hard. Let it be natural and the truth.

But it's all back to the first part. Support him in this big day and the weeks preceding the day. Make sure it all goes well. Work with the bridesmaids, but remember... they're thinking about the bride. You have to think about the groom.

 

[Greatwyrm]

In addition to the above, I assigned my best man one additional duty. My groomsmen were a silly bunch, not rude or overly disruptive, just kinda goofy. So, I made the best man the official "monkey slapper." If anyone started acting like a monkey, myself included, he had my full permission to slap them.

 

[Rel]

Also, try to avoid referring to the bride or her mother as a "whore" during the toast.

 

[tarchon]

Also, try to avoid referring to the bride or her mother as a "whore" during the toast.

And you can't get away with "ho" either.

 

[Vraille Darkfang]

A few points that should be pretty self-explanatory, but....

1. Watch the punch bowl/champage. Make sure uncle edgar doesn't get wasted, tel his wife what a ***** she is, run around with his pants off then pass out. Basically keep everyone sort of sober.

2. Stay sober. You drunk will come back to haunt you.

3. Don't hit on the bridesmaids. (As you said you're married).

4. Be nice to the bridesmaids. As far as I can tell, the purpose of a bridesmaid is to show how nice the bride's dress looks. This is done by wearing matching dress that all resemble what happens when a fashion designer mixes his cocaine, weed, and Jack Daniels. They are going to be weaing some pretty horrible dresses (usually), don't push them on this. They WILL kill you if you make references to looking like "a frumpy apricot".

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Others have covered most of the duties.

Depending on the time of the wedding, you may have to also help keep the groom calm. The wedding I was a groomsman in recently, the groom had nothing to do for about three hours before the wedding while the bride and bridesmaids got dressed etc. We broke out Munchkin and Chez Dork and played a few games to keep him distracted and laughing.

And keep alert for any problems, and keep them away from the couple. At one wedding there were problems with the caterer, who was very angry about something and was heading over to speak to the bride. We intercepted him and with the help of the bride's mother got the issue resolved - the couple never knew about it. At my own wedding reception, the girlfriend of one of my friends broke up with him. I heard it got a bit nasty. My groomsmen escorted them from the reception hall and let them have it out in the parking lot instead. I first heard about it about three years after the wedding.

 

[Teflon Billy]

The toast is pretty much required (start thinking about it now). The batcholer party is usually a tradition - but the stripper's and stag films are nearly a thing of the past -

Utter nonsense.

 

[Smackfish]

And keep alert for any problems, and keep them away from the couple. At one wedding there were problems with the caterer, who was very angry about something and was heading over to speak to the bride. We intercepted him and with the help of the bride's mother got the issue resolved - the couple never knew about it. At my own wedding reception, the girlfriend of one of my friends broke up with him. I heard it got a bit nasty. My groomsmen escorted them from the reception hall and let them have it out in the parking lot instead. I first heard about it about three years after the wedding.

This cannot be stressed enough, and it is what I was tught to be the main job of the best man. You run interference for the wedding party, especially the groom, who will likely be the most nervous person at the wedding, including the bride, who by that point is usually very calm for some reason. It is your job to make sure the only thing that he has to think about is walking down the aisle and saying his vows. This is sometimes difficult, as most caterers, florists, event planners, and everyone else you can think of will be trying to talk to him to resolve last minute issues, in an effort not to disturb the bride. If you do your job right, much like several of the posters here, he won't know that the flowers were late, the caterer ran out of champagne, and the DJ didn't have a copy of the couple's song and had to run to WalMart in the middle of the reception until after it's all over.

Smackfish