Need Best Man instructions

[soul16259]

I've been asked to be the Best Man at my brother's upcoming wedding (yay, me! and yay, him!) , and I need advice: what does a best man do? I've seen a few chick flicks, I get a vague impression of being responsible for a bachelor party (unlikely due to all the work schedules involved) and giving a toast at the reception? Anyone care to elaborate? Anything else? Is there a manual for this? Did I miss a memo?

Oh, and the apparent movie tradition of banging a bridesmaid is right out, my (very happily married) wife will be there

I'm in the same position and m best advice to you is to plan eveything well in advance so you are not stressing at the last minute. I am running a blog of my experiences as I go thru the best man duties so check it out if your interested...first stop, the bachelor party!

 

[Ranger REG]

I was the best man for my oldest friend's wedding this June. Basically, your duties are:
- organize the bachelor party
- make the first toast to the couple at the reception
- make sure that the wedding goes smoothly (with the help of the bridesmaid).

And pay the clergyman. It's the groom's special day, so don't let him worry if the minister is paid for performing the ceremony.

 

[Harmon]

One suggestion-

Should any of the women be jealous or think that bachelor parties are not a good thing the future wife and her friends might try to crash it, some disinformation might be your greatest move. Drop hint that you are organizing it at one place on the east side of town while in fact using something on the west side of town.

Good luck, hope all goes well.

 

[frankthedm]

I get a vague impression of being responsible for a bachelor party (unlikely due to all the work schedules involved)

That is your story and you stick to it no matter matter who asks.

It IS your duty to make sure the groom does not somehow catch a social disease before the wedding.

Make sure someone who has a fast car has keys in hand hear the door. You will have to make sure the groom can get away if he makes a break for it. You must make sure the groom gets away, even if it means using yourself as a human speed bump to slow the bride's guests before the kill the fleeing groom.

 

[Umbran]

And pay the clergyman. It's the groom's special day, so don't let him worry if the minister is paid for performing the ceremony.

And, pay (if payment has not been delivered already) or tip the DJ/musicians, wait staff, etc.

In general, in the deepest form of the tradition, the Best Man is the Groom's right-hand dude. Any pieces of business that need to be finalized, any trouble (like drunk guests), anything that isn't directly getting married is in your bailiwick. Your job is to make sure everything goes smoothly, and all the groom has to worry about is saying "I do."

 

[Ranger REG]

And, pay (if payment has not been delivered already) or tip the DJ/musicians, wait staff, etc.

I thought the bride's father/parent took care of that (financially).

 

[werk]

The main thing my best man did that made the whole day better for me was run interference.

On 'The Day' a groom is not always in his right mind, obviously, and adding other concerns can push him over the edge. On top of that, he can't really be held responsible for answering questions in any sort of coherent or 'correct' manner. My best man stepped in anytime anyone came to get my opinion and steered them away from me and handled everything.

We ran out of mixer during the reception, I had no idea. My best man ran to the store before it closed and got enough to last the rest of the night. He returned before I knew he was gone.

He should also keep the groom sober and unaltered before the ceremony, if the groom is prone to such behavior. Bachelor parties should be at least a week in advance, anything else is irresponsible and flirting with disaster.

Finally, the best man has to give a speech. Don't try to be funny, and don't mention anything even remotely negative. Talk about how wonderful your brother is, your parents, the bride, her family, and how the two of them are great and greater together. Any heartwarming events that you've shared...anything warm and fuzzy will work great here. I've heard great speeches and terrible speeches. It seems like the great speeches are about feelings.

That's about all you need to know. Oh, and don't put on the ring! I don't care if it fits your pinky or whatever, just don't do it.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

I'm in the same position and m best advice to you is to plan eveything well in advance so you are not stressing at the last minute. I am running a blog of my experiences as I go thru the best man duties so check it out if your interested...first stop, the bachelor party!

Wow, either this is serious thread necromancy, or Gnarlo's brother had one really long engagement.

 

[Harmon]

I thought the bride's father/parent took care of that (financially).

You know in some families that might be right, but my experience- not even close. My mother in law thought that we should send a limo to get her, when we didn't even have one for ourselves. She and her then boyfriend paid for nothing, and demanded all kinds of stuff- cause they were the parents of the bride.

Umbran has a great point- the best man is the right hand of the groom, he handles everything. Like tending to the tuxs after the wedding (making sure they get back without damage). Getting the bride and groom to the air port for the honey moon and tending to all that kinda stuff.

 

[Balgus]

my impression is that you get to be the lackey - basically everything that the bride and groom (mainly groom) needs doen that day - you are it. He will be indisposed due to photos and such - so if he needs water - you , if he needs to grab a bte to eat - you...

and yeah - bachelors party and toast.