Apok
First Post
It was a time of dread. The dark servants of evil overlords crawled across the land, sowing terror and chaos. Great Kings trembled in fear, mighty Empires threatened to topple in upon themselves, and monsters roamed the land. The people needed, nay demanded, champions. Heroes of righteous bearing and fearsome mein to combat this plague.
This is the time of heroes. Unfortunately, none were available so we're stuck with these guys;
Chauncy; Gnome Paladin of Kossuth (Lord of Flamers) by day and Shaniqua - Lady of Mystery by night. Protector of the fashion-conscious and flaming homosexual, riding into battle on his trusty war-dog Champion; a St. Bernard with a nasty habit of crotch sniffing and leg humping.
Uthress; Orc Temptress (Barbarian/Bard). She loves the night-life and is always ready to spank evil into submission. She's got the seven year itch and it's probably contagious.
Heidi; Half-Orc Wizardess. Don't let her crossed/lazy eyes fool you, she's sharp as a cooking spoon. Despite her rather nasty speech impediment, she has managed to beat, stomp and headbutt her way to the highest levels of Wizardry and she's not afraid to use her newfound abilities. God help us all. With her trusty bald cat familiar, Harry, evil better watch out. Hey, is that cat even breathing?
Tommy; Some say he's a Druid, since his skill with "herbal" remedies could cure plagues from the Sword Coast to Thay - if he cared enough to apply himself. Others claim he has wizardly connections due to his worship of Azuth, the "High" One. His wolvorine companion Stony ever present by his side, the forces of darkness will flee before the haze of bong smoke... right after they get something to eat. Cheetos, anyone?
These Realms were Forgotten for a reason.
Okay, now that I'm finished with my spiel here, it's time to get down to business. Obviously this campaign I'm trying to run is certainly not serious. It's supposed to be off-colour in it's humour and very tounge in cheek. What I need from you, my fellow EN Worlders, is some advice as to what kind of plotlines should I develop, character ideas, nemesis ideas, general input, etc. to help make this campaign a real cheeseball-fantasy-acid-trip. I can't believe I let my players talk me into doing this but I've gotta DM this with some semblance of credibility and I would really appreciate input. Thanks!
This is the time of heroes. Unfortunately, none were available so we're stuck with these guys;
Chauncy; Gnome Paladin of Kossuth (Lord of Flamers) by day and Shaniqua - Lady of Mystery by night. Protector of the fashion-conscious and flaming homosexual, riding into battle on his trusty war-dog Champion; a St. Bernard with a nasty habit of crotch sniffing and leg humping.
Uthress; Orc Temptress (Barbarian/Bard). She loves the night-life and is always ready to spank evil into submission. She's got the seven year itch and it's probably contagious.
Heidi; Half-Orc Wizardess. Don't let her crossed/lazy eyes fool you, she's sharp as a cooking spoon. Despite her rather nasty speech impediment, she has managed to beat, stomp and headbutt her way to the highest levels of Wizardry and she's not afraid to use her newfound abilities. God help us all. With her trusty bald cat familiar, Harry, evil better watch out. Hey, is that cat even breathing?
Tommy; Some say he's a Druid, since his skill with "herbal" remedies could cure plagues from the Sword Coast to Thay - if he cared enough to apply himself. Others claim he has wizardly connections due to his worship of Azuth, the "High" One. His wolvorine companion Stony ever present by his side, the forces of darkness will flee before the haze of bong smoke... right after they get something to eat. Cheetos, anyone?
These Realms were Forgotten for a reason.
Okay, now that I'm finished with my spiel here, it's time to get down to business. Obviously this campaign I'm trying to run is certainly not serious. It's supposed to be off-colour in it's humour and very tounge in cheek. What I need from you, my fellow EN Worlders, is some advice as to what kind of plotlines should I develop, character ideas, nemesis ideas, general input, etc. to help make this campaign a real cheeseball-fantasy-acid-trip. I can't believe I let my players talk me into doing this but I've gotta DM this with some semblance of credibility and I would really appreciate input. Thanks!
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