Storm -- you are evil. The world needs more people like you.
"We use the Rob Methods."
A buddy of mine was infamous as a DM for coming up with incredibly convuluted methods of opening secret doors, and not allowing us to open it unless we specifically described the exact set of motions required. Eventually one guy (named Rob, natch) codified all the possible ways to manipulate a big old slab of rock, coming up with this MASSIVE list of ways to tilt, push, slide, tug, whatever, and any time after that when we encountered one of these secret doors, we'd just say, "We use the Rob methods."
When new players joined the campaign, they'd try the same trick, and the DM would smile, and say, "You don't know the Rob methods. So, what do you try first?"