Ohh how my dice have failed me....

[Dagger75]

I swear the universe is out to get me. Last night my small group was a tournement (Thanks Taverns, Fairs and Tournements. Great book) and the fighter was entered in the joust. Now my party cheated pretty hard to buff the 10th level fighter/barbarian up to beat the 16th level fighter.

Anyway after munching out the AC of the player to 29 my 16th level Uber fighter had a nice +24/+19/+14/+9 or such to hit so I wasn't to worried. Now for 3 freaking rounds I NEVER hit the freaking fighter. I needed to roll 5's or better. Also during a melee fight this fighter is gunning for my player, I get full attack option finally, I missed every single freaking time. +14/+9 are alright misses but +24 jeez.

And this just didn't happen this game session, ooh no. I seem to be an Epic level bad roller. I can never hit. My party mocks me. I have even bought new dice and never touched them and would place them in a dice cup with out touching them fearing my cursed touch, still the dice do not roll good for me.

On the plus side when I do manage play D&D as player, I rarely miss, the DM's fear my abilities to roll crits, but I DM most of the time . Oh well thanks for letting me rant.

 

[Orco42]

If you roll like that it is time to start fudging. I just add 20 to any result I don't like.

 

[Shadoe's Lady]

Try chanting this powerful mantra next time you roll:

"Ommmmmmm seven come elevennnnnnnnn mama needs a new pair of shoooooooooes ommmmmmmmmm"

Either that or threaten your dice with destruction should they roll in an unfavorable manner.

 

[Orco42]

Either that or threaten your dice with destruction should they roll in an unfavorable manner.

Hehe. I had a character that brought a hammer with him in case his dice were bad. He creeped me out too much though so we kicked him out before he crushed any.

 

[dave_o]

Dice am TOO GOOD!

I spent some time learning several casino tricks. Namely, trick dealing, counting cards, and the worst...rolling dice. Since most of the tricks I learned with dice are all muscle memory, I have a hard time generating random numbers with dice. My head just automatically rolls the die to create it's maximum.

So, I have to roll with my eyes closed.

 

[Lord Ben]

I have a player that seems to roll in streaks like that. One session he misses constantly, the next session he got 3 crits in a row with a greataxe.

 

[Dagger75]

My group said if I use that DM screen and they see a noticable jump in hits they know I would be cheating (an they probably would be right)

 

[Cedric]

Make each of your players roll for themselves...and for the guy who is beating on the person to the right of them.

<evil grin>

Cedric

 

[Torx]

I roll exactly the same way - my players love me! But when it comes time for playing, I typically have to play wizards, since I feeling like I'm hogging all the glory if I do physical attacks since my dice never let me down.

I tried all sorts of things to get my DM dice-rolling abilities up to snuff - but no such luck! I even have a humorous guide that directs one on how to make dice roll well (which I can post if prompted). But no! Anyways, I tend to buff up my encounters a bit to accomodate for my dice inadequacies.

 

[Negative Zero]

Hehe. I had a character that brought a hammer with him in case his dice were bad. He creeped me out too much though so we kicked him out before he crushed any.

but ... but ... that's what you're supposed to do! you smash the offending die in full view of the others, so that they know what will happen if they're bad.

~NegZ