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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Kahuna Burger" data-source="post: 3921970" data-attributes="member: 8439">On threadcrapping, constructive disagreement and rutabaga candlesA few random thought/responses to this thread. Threadcrapping - personally, I define threadcrapping not in language or tone used, but as a post which attacks the existance of the thread rather than addressing the subject. For instance, when a person starts a thread saying "How can I create a good weaning party ambiance without using rutabaga candles?" a response like "You can't of course, though Cafeteria Vegetablists like yourself have been making yourselves look silly trying for years," is threadcrapping, but so is "I use rutabaga candles" "Huh - why would you want to have a weaning party without rutabaga candles?" or a detailed thesis on the socially manufactured nature of ambiance. Threadcrapping, to me, is denying the validity of a discussion instead of participating in the discussion.Which then goes to the point of whether "threadcrapping" is always bad. I mean, if the OP starts out with "Since everyone knows rutabaga candles are gross and they cause cancer, what are some good alternatives to use when the proles at my weaning party want a similar ambiance?" I don't think rutabaga candle fans should feel required to ignore flaws in the premise of the thread.   <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f61b.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":p" title="Stick out tongue    :p"  data-smilie="7"data-shortname=":p" /> On the subject of disagreeing while still being civil, my suggestion has always been speak for yourself. Literally. Stick to stating your own opinions and expereinces, without universalizing them or setting up strawmen of the opposite position. For instance, "In no reasonable point of view can eggplant candles be seen as a substitute for rutabaga ones" adds nothing but attitude to the statement that you don't consider eggplant candles a good substitute. "Well of course eggplant candles are just as good, tradition is completely meaningless, don'tcha know, in fact we shouldn't even expect a weaning party to have a weaned chihuahua, you can do whatever you feel like it and call it a weaning party to get the snausages," is just an insulting strawman. Some folks dislike IMO and such, but taking the effort to say "in my game", "for my group", or just "to me" makes all the difference in my read of a thread as being a discussion vs an argument. A final note on the joys of "thick skins". If being willing to say "this person's behavior is making my time on the site less enjoyable and I think I have the right to bring that to the mods' attention" is thin skinned, so be it. I don't consider putting up with bad treatment a virtue, and all the "tattletale" "thin skinned" "kindergardener" et al in the world isn't going to make me ashamed of doing my part to keep the site one I enjoy being at. If the mods make it clear by their action or inaction that their vision of the site is different than mine, that is a cue I will take in a heartbeat, but if there are guidelines I think make the site better, you bet I'm going to report their infractions.</blockquote>

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