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Message: <blockquote data-quote="pawsplay" data-source="post: 3929114" data-attributes="member: 15538">Let me jump in here. I had this discussion with some of the mods on RPG.net, which did not go well, but I'm going to try to explain what can happen.Poster A says, "Game X is the stupidest, most rotten game ever. I can't imagine someone liking it."Poster B says, "I like it."Poster A says, "Well, you're welcome to your opinion, of course."Poster B probably does not want to come back and say, "You know what? I feel dissed, and I'm mad about that." Because Poster A will reply, "Whoa, hoss. No reason to take it personally."Of course, there is a reason to take it personally. But Poster A does not want to come back and say, "You're not taking this seriously, but I am actually mad and I'm going to reply to you in thread." So in the end, Poster A does not reply at all. They endure it, and if they get tired of it, they might leave the boards or something, or just quietly wait for Poster B to do something reportable.Poster B is of course being "civil" in the sense of defusing, but they're only escalating the insult. The basic issue is, not every opinion is of equal value, or at its face is worth considering. "Game X is a stupid game" has a variable value depending on how stupid it actually is. If most people think it's stupid for reasonable reasons, "Game X is a stupid game" may be a little tactless but gets to the point, especially if one of the five fans of Game X tries to mount some kind of defense. On the other hand, if Game X is the most popular FRPG, "Game X is a stupid game" is out and out trolling anywhere play of Game X is discussed. In general, people should not say, "Game X is a stupid game." Context, exceptions, etc. In my view, "People make the same complaints about 4e that people did about 3e" is untrue enough to be insulting. Similarly, "4e is a money grab for suckers" is really insulting to someone who is attracted by what they hear about 4e. And each statement is similar enough to "You can't please everyone" and "WotC is primarily running a business" that they can slip under the radar of discussions.A general rule of thumb: "civility" or "neutrality" inevitibly favors the status quo. Since the non status quo tend to be riled enough already, it can lead to prickly feelings. I think the mods should definitely be sensitive to when "neutrality" isn't soothing anyone feelings. The most important things are to preserve bandwidth and keep the discussion going, not to make sure everyone tolerates any given discussion. Some topics are simply going to be too close to the heart for civility to prevail. Also, "civility" generally isn't compatible with critical analysis. Discussing the merits of a game is at heart critical analysis.</blockquote>

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