To me it feels as if there are some other premises underpinning this discussion - for instance, that the "skilled play" game is the only one going, or is going to be a campaign lasting months, or similar.
Because normally I would expect the logic of a RPG to be pretty clear from the start, or emerge pretty soon in play, similar to a board game or card game. And then I'd assume that any player of the game would play the game more-or-less in the spirit that is appropriate. That's not to say any sort of heads-up or pre-game discussion would be inappropriate; but it doesn't seem to me to be any more necessary for "actor" players in the "skilled play" context than for any other player being invited to take part in a new game (RPG or otherwise).
EDIT: To put it another way, I prefer whist-type card games to rummy-type card games, but can play both; and can also play wargame-y games like MtG if invited to. If I turn up to card-playing-group and find that it's MtG today that's not ideal for me, but I can happily join in, recoginsing that my preference for auctions and trick-taking is going to go unsatisfied for the moment.
Is the typical "actor" RPGer so insistent on playing in that fashion that nothing else is possible for him/her?