Another update...
John: Already in the works, thanks for the great ideas. And yes, the player is aware of the style of the campaign, high drama and all.
Anyway, for those interested, the rogue (whose name is Nym) fled from the scene of the assassination and made his way to one of the griffon stables in the city. There the fighter-sorcerer (Mithras, my character, since we take turns at DMing, though I'm the "main" one) rested with his griffon from having spent much of the night seeking Nym. Nym awakens Mithras, and they exchange a few akward words before going into the meat of their conversation.
Relevant characters:
Nym: Young elven rogue.
Namarra: Girlfriend of Nym, human.
Mithras: Elven fighter-sorcerer.
Here is the conversation from our email dialogue (normally, all this would be at the gaming table, but Nym's player doesn't want the other players to know what's happened yet so we've been doing this solo.
Nym: "It knew her form. Namarra that is. Became her right before my eyes—taunting me. My blood went like white fire! It had its hand deep around the heart of everything that I care about. All it would have to do is squeeze. Before I knew what happened, its hot blood was running down my arm. -- And now I finished what I started. You ask me if I regret what I did? No. I'll do whatever it takes to keep those that I love safe."
Mithras: "Nym, it was only a trick. It didn't harm her, only looked like her. You could do the same with that hat... How is that a threat to her? No more a threat then a seeing someone on the street with a knife in their belt. Yes, that knife could be used to hurt her, or it could be used for something else. There's nothing you can do about that and it's useless to worry about it. What bothers me is what you took for granted. You decided to take a life that was not yours to take. The only life you're responsible for is your own.
When someone attempts to kill me, in that moment they have chosen death. They chose, not I. They knew the risks of such an action, they knew the possible consequences and decided to do it anyway. It was their choice, not mine.
So when I kill them, all I do is close the circle that they had begun themselves. It's not choice I made for them… I think you tried to make that choice for someone else.
Nym: "It knew who she was. It knew who she was to me. It stalked her, deceived her; It deceived me and all of us! Assuming our identities, they took slaves with intent on destroying our names. If a toothless marauder with a rusty blade or a patriotic soldier on the other side of your opinion is an enemy—then these things were devils! If an enemy marches unchallenged across your lands, then you've already lost!"
Nym's raised voice stirs the griffon Goldwing.
"Yikes! That thing sure is big."
Nym walks out of the stable under the moon and stars for some air.
"As the silver moon waxes and wanes, so too does life. ...she will be your true guide. I wonder if the moon is clear over Tethyr tonight." (Namarra is currently in Tethyr)
Mithras: "So you tried killed it because it lied to you? Or did you do it because it was helping slavers? Or because it made you feel vulnerable? Why did you want to kill, Nym?"
Nym: "It didn't make me feel vulnerable. I was vulnerable! Everything was vulnerable! Everything I love was like an egg, and I wasn't going to let it leave and allow it to keep its boot heel on my egg. You can't put an egg back together once it has been crushed. How naive I have been all these years. Naive.... naive....
Mithras? Was what I did wrong?"
Mithras: "I don't know... I don't judge right or wrong. I don't know what those words mean.
Everything around you is vulnerable, everything can break. You can't stop it, you can't even slow it. Are those things your fault, mine, or anyone's? I don't know. I think all you can do is learn to live with it.
I don't know how much is my responsability, how much I control, how much is my fault... that's why I make sure that when someone dies at the end of my blade, it's their choice, not mine.
Who am I to judge who deserves to live or die? I'm not wise, I don't understand nearly enough of what goes on around me. Who am I to make that kind of decision? Who am I to make the decision that leaves them without any options, any hope, or any thing. That's why it has to be their choice, because it's a choice I can't make."
Nym: "My actions are mine, even if my hand is 'forced.' I've chosen to let young men live that fought me; some under orders, some of their own desire. Tonight I made a choice. This time, I chose to kill. To make things safer. I killed it, Mithras. Assassinated it in its own bed, in a dreary cell of some obscure precinct jail. Sadly, I don't feel anymore safe now, than I did before.
I can see Nym the child, where before I could not. I don't know how I got through those many years. Luck, I guess. I had a loving family and a home that stretched as far as any wagon could roll or ship could sail.
If I had been strong that night in Phlan, like I was tonight, then maybe many tragic things would not have happened. But I'm sure an entire new list of tragedies would have unfolded. I can't change the past. That job I will leave to other, more ambition people. '...all you can do is learn to live with it.' You're right. I'm learning."
Mithras: *Mithras breathes deeply, letting out a long sigh*
"I don't know lesson, and I don't know what any of us are learning..."