Orc & Pie Goes EPIC!
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Edena_of_Neith
First Post
You throw Haste on yourself.
Then, you throw that new spell from the Epic Level Handbook that allows a Future You to arrive in the current round.
While you go to open the first door, the Future You opens the other door.
Having chosen both doors, and having opened both doors, you should be entitled to both pies by right.
Then, you throw that new spell from the Epic Level Handbook that allows a Future You to arrive in the current round.
While you go to open the first door, the Future You opens the other door.
Having chosen both doors, and having opened both doors, you should be entitled to both pies by right.
I'm A Banana
Potassium-Rich
Bah, there is a deception!
Outside the entrace to these two rooms, a sign sits, with words on it "FREE PIE!"
But, there is a seceret. The pie is also evil. Er, I mean Evil. It's a horrid pie made of evilness. Evilness.
Choose the wrong pie, and it casts the spells that makes your party fall down.
If you slay the pie, it will retaliate with it's undead spirit 'cuz it's spirit is in a filakterie, like a lich. It will say "Blarg! I am ded!" but it will live FOREVER
Unless your epic heroz can stop them! It. The pie of evilness. Evilness, i mean, I mean, I mean.
U cant dectect evil 'cuz it's not evil it's Evil, and even if you could detect Evil, it's got enuf Evil in it to kill your mind ded. Or a pie crust of mynd shyldyng. I spelt it like that 'cuz it's elfish, and everyone noz elfs make the best pies. The orc izn't Evil, though, not even evil. It's jus' neutral and misunderstood. I think I'm gonna make the PC's evil (little e, so they're not mad) after they kill the innocent orc for guarding his pie lunch food.
Unless the PC's do it as an act of mercy so teh pie of Evil doesn't corrupt him or blast his mind with it's drow powers. It's got those, and the room is dark so it keeps them.
If the PC's kill it to save it, are they evil? They killt the gud guy, even tho it was for his own gud. ARGH! AlInGmEnTz SuK cUz ThEy ArE nOt ReAlIsTiC! I should never use them, and you are a sucky power-gaming munchkin if you do!
Like my friend Todd, who played a paladin with a sword of evil, I mean Evil, but didn't atone and he sayd "Who carez about paladinz anyway, this game should have anti-paladinz because all good isn't realistic and they should be like ninjas or pirates."
I kinda agree with him, but he's a sucky power gamer anyway 'cuz he comitted sooihside (sp?) just 'cuz the DM destroyed his +2 vorpal bladed gauntlets of frostbrand paladinhood, back when he thought paladinz were all kewl from 2e, but they're not hahahaha. And they were sundered by a kobold, hahahaha he sux. I kilt the kobold with my friend's help, and then we looted his body 'cuz he still had other good stuff on him, not just the gauntlets. But then we just wanted to win and get it over with, so we went to fight the dragon, and our dumb DM kilt us rite away. I think he was angrie at the player of the paladin and just taking it out on us.
Anyway, I think paladins are kinda dumb and that ninja are pretty awesome, so awesome they have to be a prestige class!!!!!!11 Ninjas don't even have to be evil or Evil, and they can kill things like an assassin. Hahahahaha. Assassin is funny 'cuz my friends and I always mumble the last syllable, and sometimes my mom gets angrie, but I say she's dumb and would burn my D+D books if this were the '80's, and I'm so glad it's not 'cuz Xians suk.
Hm.....yeah, I think I hit most of the bases with that one. Forgive me, it's late for me.
Outside the entrace to these two rooms, a sign sits, with words on it "FREE PIE!"
But, there is a seceret. The pie is also evil. Er, I mean Evil. It's a horrid pie made of evilness. Evilness.
Choose the wrong pie, and it casts the spells that makes your party fall down.
If you slay the pie, it will retaliate with it's undead spirit 'cuz it's spirit is in a filakterie, like a lich. It will say "Blarg! I am ded!" but it will live FOREVER
Unless your epic heroz can stop them! It. The pie of evilness. Evilness, i mean, I mean, I mean.
U cant dectect evil 'cuz it's not evil it's Evil, and even if you could detect Evil, it's got enuf Evil in it to kill your mind ded. Or a pie crust of mynd shyldyng. I spelt it like that 'cuz it's elfish, and everyone noz elfs make the best pies. The orc izn't Evil, though, not even evil. It's jus' neutral and misunderstood. I think I'm gonna make the PC's evil (little e, so they're not mad) after they kill the innocent orc for guarding his pie lunch food.
Unless the PC's do it as an act of mercy so teh pie of Evil doesn't corrupt him or blast his mind with it's drow powers. It's got those, and the room is dark so it keeps them.
If the PC's kill it to save it, are they evil? They killt the gud guy, even tho it was for his own gud. ARGH! AlInGmEnTz SuK cUz ThEy ArE nOt ReAlIsTiC! I should never use them, and you are a sucky power-gaming munchkin if you do!
Like my friend Todd, who played a paladin with a sword of evil, I mean Evil, but didn't atone and he sayd "Who carez about paladinz anyway, this game should have anti-paladinz because all good isn't realistic and they should be like ninjas or pirates."
I kinda agree with him, but he's a sucky power gamer anyway 'cuz he comitted sooihside (sp?) just 'cuz the DM destroyed his +2 vorpal bladed gauntlets of frostbrand paladinhood, back when he thought paladinz were all kewl from 2e, but they're not hahahaha. And they were sundered by a kobold, hahahaha he sux. I kilt the kobold with my friend's help, and then we looted his body 'cuz he still had other good stuff on him, not just the gauntlets. But then we just wanted to win and get it over with, so we went to fight the dragon, and our dumb DM kilt us rite away. I think he was angrie at the player of the paladin and just taking it out on us.
Anyway, I think paladins are kinda dumb and that ninja are pretty awesome, so awesome they have to be a prestige class!!!!!!11 Ninjas don't even have to be evil or Evil, and they can kill things like an assassin. Hahahahaha. Assassin is funny 'cuz my friends and I always mumble the last syllable, and sometimes my mom gets angrie, but I say she's dumb and would burn my D+D books if this were the '80's, and I'm so glad it's not 'cuz Xians suk.
Hm.....yeah, I think I hit most of the bases with that one. Forgive me, it's late for me.
Clain MacFaileas
First Post
And one must make sure one does not just throw out any of this evil pie. Should that happen, a crafty DM will have it devoured by maggots and thus form a Pie/Worm that Walks!!!
This oozey worm pie-like pseudoundead would of course seek vengance on it's original eaters....
This oozey worm pie-like pseudoundead would of course seek vengance on it's original eaters....
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Edena_of_Neith
First Post
Actually, a fresh, intact pie full of teleported rot grubs in stasis (which is broken when someone bites into the pie) would make for an interesting surprise for adventurers.
Definitely something a lich, tired of unwanted visitors, might think up.
Or, perhaps the pie has magically shrunken Mirrors of Life Trapping in it.
Biting into the pie means biting into and shattering some of these Mirrors, releasing the monsters therein into the biters mouth (whether they would fit is questionable, obviously.)
Definitely something a lich, tired of unwanted visitors, might think up.
Or, perhaps the pie has magically shrunken Mirrors of Life Trapping in it.
Biting into the pie means biting into and shattering some of these Mirrors, releasing the monsters therein into the biters mouth (whether they would fit is questionable, obviously.)
William Ronald
Explorer
Another trick is to have a black pudding pie. Just have breaking the crust the the trigger for the breaking of the Temporal Stasis spell freeing the creature.
Or, to go with the old "four and twenty black birds baked in a pie" theme, how about a group of stirges. (A great idea for a villain who has a warped sense of humor.)
Or, to go with the old "four and twenty black birds baked in a pie" theme, how about a group of stirges. (A great idea for a villain who has a warped sense of humor.)
Edena_of_Neith
First Post
How about Polymorphing Other a powerful monster into a pie?
Now, use the Epic Spell rules to create an Epic spell that Polymorphs Other (with a really lousy chance to save against the spell, of course), with the Contingency that 20 minutes after the pie is eaten, it reverts back to the monster it was.
Then, one Polymorphs a large monster (preferably one with a temper, a ranged attack, and a willingness to use both on any unfortunates nearby) into the pie, then leaves the pie as a gift for another large, nasty monster with much appetite and few wits to match.
Unfortunately, this tactic will work very effectively against kender.
Therefore, one must be careful with this tactic when around these little fellows.
- - -
A pie might not work, but Polymorphing Other a monster into an exotic weapon (particularly any kind of firearm) is an effective tactic against adventurers.
Adventurers cannot resist taking exotic weapons, especially those that radiate magic (as this one most certainly would). Unfortunately for them, it is all too unlikely they will look beyond the surface magic to see the polymorphed dragon or medusa that the item was.
Of course, one can use pies against adventurers ... one simply needs the right setting.
I can't remember the last time adventurers in any game I was a player or DM in detected for magic in an inn or bar.
So, one creates the pie to match the innkeeper's pie, then assumes the form of the serving person to carry it out to the table the adventurers are sitting at.
The pie is on the house, of course ... for a fee of 1 gp (anything not costing 1 gp or more would be suspicious ...)
Nevermind that you might become evil from this act, or that the authorities will hunt down the malefactors who did this.
It is too much fun watching the look of horror on the faces of the egotistical, unafraid-of-anything adventurers, when one of them explodes into red goo (not to be confused with the Red Goo of the IR.)
Now, use the Epic Spell rules to create an Epic spell that Polymorphs Other (with a really lousy chance to save against the spell, of course), with the Contingency that 20 minutes after the pie is eaten, it reverts back to the monster it was.
Then, one Polymorphs a large monster (preferably one with a temper, a ranged attack, and a willingness to use both on any unfortunates nearby) into the pie, then leaves the pie as a gift for another large, nasty monster with much appetite and few wits to match.
Unfortunately, this tactic will work very effectively against kender.
Therefore, one must be careful with this tactic when around these little fellows.
- - -
A pie might not work, but Polymorphing Other a monster into an exotic weapon (particularly any kind of firearm) is an effective tactic against adventurers.
Adventurers cannot resist taking exotic weapons, especially those that radiate magic (as this one most certainly would). Unfortunately for them, it is all too unlikely they will look beyond the surface magic to see the polymorphed dragon or medusa that the item was.
Of course, one can use pies against adventurers ... one simply needs the right setting.
I can't remember the last time adventurers in any game I was a player or DM in detected for magic in an inn or bar.
So, one creates the pie to match the innkeeper's pie, then assumes the form of the serving person to carry it out to the table the adventurers are sitting at.
The pie is on the house, of course ... for a fee of 1 gp (anything not costing 1 gp or more would be suspicious ...)
Nevermind that you might become evil from this act, or that the authorities will hunt down the malefactors who did this.
It is too much fun watching the look of horror on the faces of the egotistical, unafraid-of-anything adventurers, when one of them explodes into red goo (not to be confused with the Red Goo of the IR.)
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