[OT] Confessions

[GravyFingerz]

Re: Confessions:

"I pushed my sister down the stairs and blamed it on the dog..."

(Just going with the title of the thread....)

2 of the longest relationships I've had/have (my wife being one of them) came about because I took the plunge and asked them out. From what I know now, both had been waiting for me to ask them out for nearly a month.

If you know the girl well enough to chat for longer than 15 minutes, you have a decent shot at a date.

Taren Nighteyes

I might have to get to know her better than

However, it is a complicated thing. Let me explain.

The employees are seperated in to crews. The people in the crew take breaks at the same time and lunch at the same time. She is in a different crew than I, and by unfortunate circumstance, our breaks havent coincided for a long time. I haven't got to talk to her in a long while.

But hey, she still smiles at me when I see her and such.

 

[AGGEMAM]

Re: Re: Confessions:

But hey, she still smiles at me when I see her and such.

And if that isn't a hint, I dunno what is.

 

[GravyFingerz]

Re: Re: Re: Confessions:

And if that isn't a hint, I dunno what is.

You never know, sometimes they can be trixsy and false

 

[GravyFingerz]

Chiming in with the general thrust of the responses so far:

On publishing your work: go for it. (SHAMELESS PLUG TIME!) I helped to write the little (NON-collectible) card game featured in my .sig (everyone buy a copy, now! ) and through the perseverence and dedication of my co-authors it was lately brought to market and still stands as my only published work. I don't take any credit whatsoever for "Management Material" being printed up and published/distributed; had it been up to me, I imagine I would have let it wither rather than spend the effort required. (Also there was a money issue....)

However, having something I helped write in print is one thing I'm quite pleased with, and possibly even proud of (though as I say, the game's *printing and publication* cannot be credited to me). We had a booth at Gen Con 2002 (and AFAIK we plan to have another at Gen Con 2003), and as a co-author I have to tell you watching people play and laugh their way through it was a terrific, irreplaceable natural "high." I still don't know anything about the d20 market (other than what I see at my FLGS), but from what I experienced I certainly do recommend taking the plunge and getting published if it's feasible.

If you haven't done so yet, check out our Web site; the game is an absolute laugh riot, IMHO. Also check out the review in Nodwick #17; though we're not affiliated with Aaron Williams or Dork Storm Publishing, we think they're *really really* cool. (END SHAMELESS PLUG!)

On dating: go for it. I'll echo Taren here and note that at the time I first asked her out, my now-wife had been wondering when I was going to do so. And here we are, 14 years and 2-1/2 months later....

Of course, I have an "abject humiliation" story too, but I'll spare everyone.

Wow, that is hella cool! I've wanted to do a card game before, but it died during the idea stage. It looks like you got a really good game there, and you should be proud of it.

I want to feel that high one day and be proud like that. I am proud right now, but I will be more proud.

One day. I can almost feel it. I can almost taste it. It's within reach.

 

[GravyFingerz]

motto: Don't $h1* where you eat.

By this never ask out a coworker as it can turn downright ugly and nasty if things go sour, unless it's a HUGE (thousands) of employees and you guys don't work in the same area/department/floor. If you guys are seperated by the above stuff then go for it. Makes life easier if you don't have to see her everyday if things don't work out.


Oh and if you are just downright lazy like me try www.match.com I found my current GF there and i am 10X happier than i once was.

I tried a dating service once, and it went really sour. She thought role playing was kind of childish. Plus she thought I was a loser, so I stopped talking to her altogether. No regrets.

 

[GravyFingerz]

Re: Don't $h1* where you eat?

Bah humbug!

Dating at the workplace is quite common in adult life. The trick is to be an adult about it. Ask her out. You'll regret it forever if you don't. When you do you must be mindfful that you are at work, this is true, but you can be mindful of the business place, and still ask.

Just be direct. "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner at resturant XYZ on Saturday?".

If she says "No." Just say, "Ok, thanks anyway." and smile, keep your voice even. Don't be angry or sound like a child that just skinned your knee.

If you ask the question in a direct, but friendly tone, and take any response in the same tone you are fine. If she says "No." you just leave it at that. If she says "Yes." you do not behave as if she is your girlfriend, you simply say "Great, how does 7:30 sound?" and set the date in a business like fashion.

During the meal you can be more casual and normal. While you are at work and asking you need to stay business like. No matter how the date goes, you remain business like at work. Even if she takes you home and does not let you go until 15 minutes after you were supposed to be at work, or if she blows it off. No matter what, the office requires office behavior.

In the Army we called this "military bearing". No matter the situation, when you were on duty, you were mindful of it. Off duty had different rules than on duty. Even if you were dating one of the few women in the unit. It's all lovey-dovey off duty and professional when on duty.

You can seperate the two and behave appropriately in both environments. Just don't stalk the girl if she says no!

Final advice, if you get the date, don't talk about work. If she asks quesitons, give honest, but simple answers. Don't bad mouth other employees. That can bite you in the rear later. Far better to ask about her and let her know you are interested in her as a person, and not her staple collection at work

That's really good advice. And you know, knowing me, had you not said it, I would have violated some of the basic advice you've given me, such as asking about work related stuff.

Although I doubt I'd stalk her. That is just creepy. I'd creep myself out.

 

[DDK]

I was proud to make it a free game. But now I say, "I want to publish it." I think people understand, but I feel like I am betraying them for wanting to publish. Is it wrong? Maybe so, maybe not. Sometimes I feel like I am violating my integrity as a writer, by making certain decisions.

Don't beat yerself up about it. Ultimately, people will think what they'll think regardless of the truth or the appearance of truth or the explanations or the perceptions... bah! Forget about what people think and just do it.

Doesn't matter what you'll do, you'll have people telling you it was wrong or stupid or lame. Only listen to them if they're your friends and even then, make sure they're really friends 'cause most people who'll say that, won't be.

Sometimes I think I annoy my friends when I talk about M&M. Maybe I talk about it a lot. It's my work though, but I don't think they understand that. They say it's a good game, but they are my friends. They tell me what I want to hear, but it's not what I want to hear. I want them to be honest, not to be yes men. I tell them this, but I don't think it gets through.

Most likely you do annoy them. But then they probably annoy you with some of the things they do too. One of my favourite sayings is, "Friends are people who know everything about you; and still like you anyway." Regardless, 'tis the lot of the gifted to be obsessed with what they do; how else can they manage the Herculean task of success in this world of nay-sayers, hypocrits and critics?

As for feedback... eh, I'm yet to get any constructive criticism from a friend who wasn't also in the writing industry or wasn't a hobbyist writer. Even then, it's the professionals who understand the value of criticism who give you the best feedback. Hobbyists are usually too scared of having their own work degraded in any way to give a negative response to anyone elses work.

If you want feedback, request it in the d20 Publisher's forum, is my advice. In fact... find the nastiest, most inhospitable publisher you can, and then give him a sample of your work, lol.

I want fame. I want people to see my game and see my name and say "That Orion guy makes a good game." I like to hear the compliments and suggestions and critiques. Maybe I don't use them all, but I still like to hear them - it means you have an interest in something I created. I don't care about the money - it's a neat little perk.

I want both. I want money. I want fame. I want the whole package that comes with success. I've done without for too long. I didn't ask to be born on the lower rung but I'll be damned if I'm gonna stop climbing till I reach the top.

No shame in wanting to be successful. The only shame that can come through success is how one achieves it.

I am an elitist. By that, I mean that I believe that certain people shouldn't be in the role playing hobby. I believe certain people are detrimental to the hobby, and should have no part of this. Maybe this is normal, maybe it isn't.

I don't understand this. Given that we used to argue black'n'blue in the channel, it'd be my guess I'd be one of those you'd have excised. Yet I give in so many ways to the hobby that I'm hardly detrimental to it. I give of my time, my energy, my efforts and my creativity. I'd say wisdom and intelligence but then I'd be roasted alive for making such (factual) claims

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find love that will last for a life time. My ex's and friends say I will, but this is again, them telling me what I want to hear ... it's pretty sad when strangers are more honest than your friends.

Just like a writer to be a romantic. Sheesh. Love is overrated. Make money, become successful, you'll have enough 'love' to last you forever.

Personally, I value friendships far more than I value love. Though, saying that, I love my friends.

 

[GravyFingerz]

Re: Re: [OT] Confessions

Don't beat yerself up about it. Ultimately, people will think what they'll think regardless of the truth or the appearance of truth or the explanations or the perceptions... bah! Forget about what people think and just do it.

Doesn't matter what you'll do, you'll have people telling you it was wrong or stupid or lame. Only listen to them if they're your friends and even then, make sure they're really friends 'cause most people who'll say that, won't be.

Most likely you do annoy them. But then they probably annoy you with some of the things they do too. One of my favourite sayings is, "Friends are people who know everything about you; and still like you anyway." Regardless, 'tis the lot of the gifted to be obsessed with what they do; how else can they manage the Herculean task of success in this world of nay-sayers, hypocrits and critics?

You have some really good points in there. Yes, my friends annoy me with the lot of things they do. To no end. You're right, it's balanced between me annoying them and them annoying me. Geez they really annoy me.

As for feedback... eh, I'm yet to get any constructive criticism from a friend who wasn't also in the writing industry or wasn't a hobbyist writer. Even then, it's the professionals who understand the value of criticism who give you the best feedback. Hobbyists are usually too scared of having their own work degraded in any way to give a negative response to anyone elses work.

If you want feedback, request it in the d20 Publisher's forum, is my advice. In fact... find the nastiest, most inhospitable publisher you can, and then give him a sample of your work, lol.

I want both. I want money. I want fame. I want the whole package that comes with success. I've done without for too long. I didn't ask to be born on the lower rung but I'll be damned if I'm gonna stop climbing till I reach the top.

No shame in wanting to be successful. The only shame that can come through success is how one achieves it.

You're right, again. I don't think I am doing anything scandalous, so I should be okay on the writing and such, so I shouldn't be worried.

I don't understand this. Given that we used to argue black'n'blue in the channel, it'd be my guess I'd be one of those you'd have excised. Yet I give in so many ways to the hobby that I'm hardly detrimental to it. I give of my time, my energy, my efforts and my creativity. I'd say wisdom and intelligence but then I'd be roasted alive for making such (factual) claims

Unless you go by another nick on the channel, I don't remember arguing with you. But you seem more articulate than the people I used to argue with. You also give me good advice despite that, which reminds me how much of an ass I can be, and my new years resolution:

To be nicer to all people

Just like a writer to be a romantic. Sheesh. Love is overrated. Make money, become successful, you'll have enough 'love' to last you forever.

Personally, I value friendships far more than I value love. Though, saying that, I love my friends.

Heh, aren't almost all writers in love with love? Anyway, yeah friends will almost always be here, but love can wither. Well, so can friendships. Bah, friends are there longer. Well, we all hope.

 

[DDK]

Re: Re: Re: [OT] Confessions

Unless you go by another nick on the channel, I don't remember arguing with you. But you seem more articulate than the people I used to argue with.

You may remember me better as iconoclast or Guildmaster or Gremmel. I think Golem still holds those commands so if you need a refresher, just use the above nicks as commands to Golem

Heh, aren't almost all writers in love with love? Anyway, yeah friends will almost always be here, but love can wither. Well, so can friendships. Bah, friends are there longer. Well, we all hope.

Unfortunately, yes. My last GF asked me that very question, "Are you in love with love, or me?" At the time I was kinda insulted, but in retrospect, I was very enamoured of the idea of being in love... she was a very unlovable person after all

I've given up on the entire concept. I'll happily engage in a romp with any girl I find attractive and who's willing, but ultimately I can do without and would rather pursue my career goals than tail.