Roland Delacroix
First Post
I dont watch it to often because the comedy is hit or miss. The music video with the naked Tenacious D rocks though.
(OT) Crank Yankers and your own crank phone call memories
- Thread starter King_Stannis
- Start date
King_Stannis
Explorer
Umbran said:As if the world today wasn't annoying enough, we make an entertainment out of adding annoyance and embarassment into random people's lives....
Wonderful idea. Brilliant.
oh come on, dude. lighten up a little. fine, you don't like the show. but save the "decline of western civilization" comments, please. the crank phone call has been around for a long time.
How I DEALT with the crank caller...
This was circa 1987 IIRC.
Got this guy who would call @ 1 in the morning. In my room was my Commedore 64, complete with 1200 baud modem that would start yammering away as soon as I turned on the power switch, IF I flipped a switch on the modem itself.
Prank caller: "Hey, dude, you know what your mom was like last night?"
Me:"Please hold."
(Switches on C64, flips toggle on modem)
Prank caller: "What the **** is that?"
Me:"I'm tracing your number."
I never got a call again.
This was circa 1987 IIRC.
Got this guy who would call @ 1 in the morning. In my room was my Commedore 64, complete with 1200 baud modem that would start yammering away as soon as I turned on the power switch, IF I flipped a switch on the modem itself.
Prank caller: "Hey, dude, you know what your mom was like last night?"
Me:"Please hold."
(Switches on C64, flips toggle on modem)
Prank caller: "What the **** is that?"
Me:"I'm tracing your number."
I never got a call again.
Henry
Autoexreginated
Sorry, King S, but I gotta come down in disgust and loathing over cark phone calls, and crank yankers in general.
The idea of adding that much annoyance to someone's life, when we all have enough annoyance in our lives to begin with, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To each his own, but crank phone calling crosses the line to "not hurting anyone," in my opinion.
Mind you, on crank yankers, the calls are usually exceptionally stupid, and it takes a real loss of cohesion to fall for some of these (the one about the conservationist trying to get people to defecate less often is a good example). But calls on everything from false offers of work, to misrepresentation of identity, takes on some very nasty undertones that fall into that shady area between "illegal" and "legal."
Eventually, someone is going to crank call someone to tell them something as dramatic as a loved one is dead, or that a dead loved one is actually alive, and then some very nasty repercussions are in store. Fun is fun, but this ain't it, to me.
The idea of adding that much annoyance to someone's life, when we all have enough annoyance in our lives to begin with, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. To each his own, but crank phone calling crosses the line to "not hurting anyone," in my opinion.
Mind you, on crank yankers, the calls are usually exceptionally stupid, and it takes a real loss of cohesion to fall for some of these (the one about the conservationist trying to get people to defecate less often is a good example). But calls on everything from false offers of work, to misrepresentation of identity, takes on some very nasty undertones that fall into that shady area between "illegal" and "legal."
Eventually, someone is going to crank call someone to tell them something as dramatic as a loved one is dead, or that a dead loved one is actually alive, and then some very nasty repercussions are in store. Fun is fun, but this ain't it, to me.
Heretic Apostate
First Post
A "local" (as in, within 2 hours drive) radio station does a prank call contest called "Drive Grandma Crazy." The whole idea is to get a caller to call their grandma, and the caller can only use one phrase, over and over again. If the caller can keep grandma on the line for a couple minutes, they win tickets or something.
The phrase is generally something like, "My radiator is broken," or some other non-sequitur (sp?).
The phrase is generally something like, "My radiator is broken," or some other non-sequitur (sp?).
JRRNeiklot
First Post
I much prefer crank calls over telemarketers. I work 3rd shift and get in bed around 8:00 am. At least once or twice a week, some damn telemarketer wakes me up at like 10:00 to inform me that I am pre-approved for a new credit card. Grrrr.
On a related note, check out this website:
http://www.snpp.com/guides/moe_calls.html
On a related note, check out this website:
http://www.snpp.com/guides/moe_calls.html
Henry
Autoexreginated
Ahhh, Telemarketers. The worst Crank Yankers of them all. I knew someone would bring them up at some point.
My personal favorite are Harte Hanks Marketing surveyors. I love hanging up on them.
First, I told them politely.
Then, 23 calls later, I told them to remove me from their mailing lists.
Much later, I began losing my temper.
Eventually, I started just hanging up - especially when they pose under false pretenses to get past the scretary to me. They aren't worth my time, nor my elevated blood pressure.
I knew someone would bring them up at some point.My personal favorite are Harte Hanks Marketing surveyors. I love hanging up on them.
First, I told them politely.
Then, 23 calls later, I told them to remove me from their mailing lists.
Much later, I began losing my temper.
Eventually, I started just hanging up - especially when they pose under false pretenses to get past the scretary to me. They aren't worth my time, nor my elevated blood pressure.
shadow
First Post
Personally I don't find Crank Yankers funny at all, nor anything else involving "prank" phone calls like the Jerky Boys. I guess it goes back to the time when I was constantly the butt end off them in Jr High School. Since I was the "nerd" (Besides wearing glasses and liking science class, playing D&D made me a nerd) it was everyone elses duty to harrass me anyway they could. I was constantly being prank called, and at the most inconvienient times. It got to the point that I (and the rest of my family) was being awakened nearly every night by someone prank calling in the middle of the night. Usually they would say some stupid stuff and then quickly hang up.
However, I knew a girl in high school (who was also a nerd) who was tormented by prank calls. They soon crossed the fine line of being a prank and got obscene and threatening. I really don't know what happened to her, but I've heard that her family had to get the police to investigate the "prank" phone calls.
However, I knew a girl in high school (who was also a nerd) who was tormented by prank calls. They soon crossed the fine line of being a prank and got obscene and threatening. I really don't know what happened to her, but I've heard that her family had to get the police to investigate the "prank" phone calls.
the Jester
Legend
Well, I find crank calls funny but wrong. I've more than once made them myself, but the best ones are the ones where someone 'deserves' it (at least in your then-likely-plastered mind). For instance....
First, you have to understand that the water that comes out of the tap in my town (Davis, CA) is HORRIFYINGLY BAD. I will not drink it, EVER. If I make it into tea or something, okay; but I much prefer to use real water.
So, one night I was having this party and we ran out of water. We were trashed and under the influence of some, um, recreational pharmaceuticals, and we grabbed up four empty gallon jugs and set out on a trek of about 3/4 mile each way to the nearest place we could fill them up. We got to the water vending machines at the supermarket, Lucky's (since bought by Albertson's but that's another story), filled them and trekked home (and lemme tell ya, when you've got a gallon of water in each hand, 3/4 mile is a long walk!)
As we got back to my place, I took a long, deep pull off of one of the containers- and spat it right out, cause it was Davis water.
I few seconds later, in horror, we dumped it all out, because it was disgusting Davis water, not real water. All of it. And we'd just spent prolly an hour mucking about for real water. Oh, man, we were pissed! So, raving drunk, parched and high, I decided to call Lucky's and register a customer complaint...
Now, I adopted a voice for it; a kinda slow, loud, Bostonish accent. It went something like this:
"Hi, thanks for calling Lucky's, this is X, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please."
"I'm sorry?"
"I said I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please?"
"Who?"
"Lucky."
"I'm sorry, there's no Lucky that works here..."
"Well, Mr. Lucky then."
"Ah... I'm sorry sir, there's no Mr. Lucky eith-"
"Ain't this Lucky's?"
"...yeah."
"Well I'd like to speak wit' 'im please."
[pause] "Well, Lucky's not here..."
"Well gimme his home number den, we go way back."
"Uh- maybe I can help you with something?"
"Yeah, I'm a customer with a legitimate complaint, and I'd like to speak ta Lucky about it."
and so it went for quite a while. It was hilarious. I guess you prolly had to be there... Eventually he hung up on me, but I kept him on the line for, I'd guess 10 minutes. Then I called Safeway and asked to speak to Lucky, and when they tried to explain to me that they weren't Lucky's I told them that I knew they were all in it together. It was funny...
Had to be there, like I said...
First, you have to understand that the water that comes out of the tap in my town (Davis, CA) is HORRIFYINGLY BAD. I will not drink it, EVER. If I make it into tea or something, okay; but I much prefer to use real water.
So, one night I was having this party and we ran out of water. We were trashed and under the influence of some, um, recreational pharmaceuticals, and we grabbed up four empty gallon jugs and set out on a trek of about 3/4 mile each way to the nearest place we could fill them up. We got to the water vending machines at the supermarket, Lucky's (since bought by Albertson's but that's another story), filled them and trekked home (and lemme tell ya, when you've got a gallon of water in each hand, 3/4 mile is a long walk!)
As we got back to my place, I took a long, deep pull off of one of the containers- and spat it right out, cause it was Davis water.
I few seconds later, in horror, we dumped it all out, because it was disgusting Davis water, not real water. All of it. And we'd just spent prolly an hour mucking about for real water. Oh, man, we were pissed! So, raving drunk, parched and high, I decided to call Lucky's and register a customer complaint...
Now, I adopted a voice for it; a kinda slow, loud, Bostonish accent. It went something like this:
"Hi, thanks for calling Lucky's, this is X, how can I help you?"
"Yeah, I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please."
"I'm sorry?"
"I said I'd like to speak ta Lucky, please?"
"Who?"
"Lucky."
"I'm sorry, there's no Lucky that works here..."
"Well, Mr. Lucky then."
"Ah... I'm sorry sir, there's no Mr. Lucky eith-"
"Ain't this Lucky's?"
"...yeah."
"Well I'd like to speak wit' 'im please."
[pause] "Well, Lucky's not here..."
"Well gimme his home number den, we go way back."
"Uh- maybe I can help you with something?"
"Yeah, I'm a customer with a legitimate complaint, and I'd like to speak ta Lucky about it."
and so it went for quite a while. It was hilarious. I guess you prolly had to be there... Eventually he hung up on me, but I kept him on the line for, I'd guess 10 minutes. Then I called Safeway and asked to speak to Lucky, and when they tried to explain to me that they weren't Lucky's I told them that I knew they were all in it together. It was funny...
Had to be there, like I said...
Teflon Billy
Explorer
Heh, I'm (astonishigly) with King Stannis on this. I've only seen a few episodes of Crank Yankers that I pulled off of Kazaa, but they were hilarious (I didn't see the puppetry, these were just audio files)
My youth was spent committing the horribly unorigina; "Do you have Prince Albert in a can", "Is your refrigerator running", "are you lights burning" -type crank calls, and they worked about as ofen as you'd think. But we still thought we were incredibly funny
Of late however, as close as my frinds and I come to crank calls is messing aropund with telemarketers, under the tutelage of our friend Fraser...here are a few of Frase's favorite games....
Doctor No.
Concede every point that the telemarketer makes, give no hint that you aren't completely entusiastic about the product or service...and still refuse.
Telemarketer: ...and you can get both of the Newspapers delivered to your door for less than the cost of picking one up from the newsstand!
Doctor No: My God!...that's a savings of, what? 70%?
Telemarketer: 72% actually. It's a great deal.
Doctor No: It certainly is. I think I'll pass though.
Telemarketer: What? Do you get the papers already or something?
Doctor No: No, actually I purchase the First one on my way to work every morning, but I have to go two blocks out of my way to buy it. The second paper is one I always wanted to read, but I can't really budget more than one newspaper.
Telemarketer: But Sir you can get both, for less than the price of the one you currently and have to go out of your way to buy, delivered to your home.
Doctor No: That certainly seems like a good deal. Maybe the best deal I've ever been offered for newspapers.
Telemarketer: Yes sir, and as I said the offer only lasts until midnight tonight.
Doctor No: I think I'll pass.
You win the game if you can make him last more than fifteen minuts before giving up in disgust.
The other game of fraser's that pops to mind is...
The Mutilated Mark
As the conversation continues you pretend to injure yourself more and more gravely, whicle continuing to express an interest in the product or service being peddled. Observe...
Telemarketer: ...it really is a great deal on both of your local newspapers
Mutilated Mark: I couldn't agree more. What was it you said was the percentage savings on the cover price?
Telemarketer: I comes to seventy two...
Telemarketer:GAH!!! Oh jeez. Owwww.
Telemarketer: Sir? are you allright there?
Mutilated Mark: Yeah, I just cut the end of my finger pretty badly with an exacto knife. Jeez. Sorry. Go on.
Telemarketer: Allright. It comes to Seventy two percent sav...
Mutilated Mark: Man, hang on a second, this thing is really bleeding...
Telemarketer: Maybe I should call you back later.
Mutilated Mark: No no no. I'll just put a little liquid paper in it. I heard it's mostly alcohol, that should Suck it shut right?
Telemarketer: Umm...
Mutilated Mark: Will it be delivered to my house?
Telemarketer: What?
Mutilated Mark: The Newspaper
Telemarketer: Oh yes sir, deifntely. It will....
Mutilated Mark: GAH!!! YOw!..now that stings. Oh man!..it's not alcohol. It's acetone. God. Ok hang on a sec allright. Jeez. I'm going to get some hot water and try and get that crap out of the cut. MAn...it's really bleeding now. Gah! Can you hold on? I need both of those newpapers...
Telemarketer: Sure...?
30 seconds or so pass.
Mutilated Mark: Ok, I'm back. Man...how can I make it stop bleeding? This scotch tape is holding a piece of blotter there now, but the liquid paper is killing!. I've got a coffee pot full of hot water here now, just give me a second. I'm going to try and clean it out. Man...Acetone. I'm an idiot (make a splashing noise in your glass of cold water) Ow!..that's hot. I'm not sure which is worse, the wound or the cure! So anyway, the newspaper...
Telemarketer: Ok, yeah. The papers usually...
Mutilated Mark: GAH!!! I SPILLED THE WATERRRRRAAAAGGHHHHH!. OH CHRIST!! IT"S IN MY LAP.
OOOOOWWWWWWW!
Etc you get the idea.
You win this game by having him offer to call an ambulance for you
I'll talk to Frase and see how many more I can get out of him
My youth was spent committing the horribly unorigina; "Do you have Prince Albert in a can", "Is your refrigerator running", "are you lights burning" -type crank calls, and they worked about as ofen as you'd think. But we still thought we were incredibly funny
Of late however, as close as my frinds and I come to crank calls is messing aropund with telemarketers, under the tutelage of our friend Fraser...here are a few of Frase's favorite games....
Doctor No.
Concede every point that the telemarketer makes, give no hint that you aren't completely entusiastic about the product or service...and still refuse.
Telemarketer: ...and you can get both of the Newspapers delivered to your door for less than the cost of picking one up from the newsstand!
Doctor No: My God!...that's a savings of, what? 70%?
Telemarketer: 72% actually. It's a great deal.
Doctor No: It certainly is. I think I'll pass though.
Telemarketer: What? Do you get the papers already or something?
Doctor No: No, actually I purchase the First one on my way to work every morning, but I have to go two blocks out of my way to buy it. The second paper is one I always wanted to read, but I can't really budget more than one newspaper.
Telemarketer: But Sir you can get both, for less than the price of the one you currently and have to go out of your way to buy, delivered to your home.
Doctor No: That certainly seems like a good deal. Maybe the best deal I've ever been offered for newspapers.
Telemarketer: Yes sir, and as I said the offer only lasts until midnight tonight.
Doctor No: I think I'll pass.
You win the game if you can make him last more than fifteen minuts before giving up in disgust.
The other game of fraser's that pops to mind is...
The Mutilated Mark
As the conversation continues you pretend to injure yourself more and more gravely, whicle continuing to express an interest in the product or service being peddled. Observe...
Telemarketer: ...it really is a great deal on both of your local newspapers
Mutilated Mark: I couldn't agree more. What was it you said was the percentage savings on the cover price?
Telemarketer: I comes to seventy two...
Telemarketer:GAH!!! Oh jeez. Owwww.
Telemarketer: Sir? are you allright there?
Mutilated Mark: Yeah, I just cut the end of my finger pretty badly with an exacto knife. Jeez. Sorry. Go on.
Telemarketer: Allright. It comes to Seventy two percent sav...
Mutilated Mark: Man, hang on a second, this thing is really bleeding...
Telemarketer: Maybe I should call you back later.
Mutilated Mark: No no no. I'll just put a little liquid paper in it. I heard it's mostly alcohol, that should Suck it shut right?
Telemarketer: Umm...
Mutilated Mark: Will it be delivered to my house?
Telemarketer: What?
Mutilated Mark: The Newspaper
Telemarketer: Oh yes sir, deifntely. It will....
Mutilated Mark: GAH!!! YOw!..now that stings. Oh man!..it's not alcohol. It's acetone. God. Ok hang on a sec allright. Jeez. I'm going to get some hot water and try and get that crap out of the cut. MAn...it's really bleeding now. Gah! Can you hold on? I need both of those newpapers...
Telemarketer: Sure...?
30 seconds or so pass.
Mutilated Mark: Ok, I'm back. Man...how can I make it stop bleeding? This scotch tape is holding a piece of blotter there now, but the liquid paper is killing!. I've got a coffee pot full of hot water here now, just give me a second. I'm going to try and clean it out. Man...Acetone. I'm an idiot (make a splashing noise in your glass of cold water) Ow!..that's hot. I'm not sure which is worse, the wound or the cure! So anyway, the newspaper...
Telemarketer: Ok, yeah. The papers usually...
Mutilated Mark: GAH!!! I SPILLED THE WATERRRRRAAAAGGHHHHH!. OH CHRIST!! IT"S IN MY LAP.
OOOOOWWWWWWW!
Etc
you get the idea.You win this game by having him offer to call an ambulance for you
I'll talk to Frase and see how many more I can get out of him
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