(OT) I need some advice from the assembly

[BluWolf]

This is just about as off topic as you can get but I need a venue to echo in.

This past year has been a little rough for my wife and I. No different than other folks trials and tribulations, just ours.

I won't get into the nitty gritty but suffice it to say my career has careened off a cliff and it has detonated at the bottom of a gulch in an unimpressive fart of flame. We are currently living with my wife's mother as we both look for work and try and keep our new born son in clean diapers.

Because of a string of events my persisting in my current profession (Sales) is not a viable longterm option. I'm in my early thirties with a varied back ground yet only some formal education. (I'm probably a biscuit short of an associates).

Our situation is that my wife will probably soone be working (she is a teacher) and the arrangement with my mother in law is an amenable one (She has more house than a family of 8 would need). I can find work to keep money flowing but it is nothing that will keep me from putting a bullet in my head in five years.

I'm contemplating returing to school to finish my degree and possibly seek a graduate degree. Have any of you out there tried to return to college later in life? With a family? How did you do it? How did you maintain some sense of perspective through the hard times that I am sure arose?

I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks;

Marc L.

 

[Quickbeam]

In some ways I can personally relate to your situation...namely, that I'm married with two kids, yet kicking around the idea of pursuing an advanced degree. Do I want to make things tight monetarily in the short term, for a future payoff? How would work and school affect time with my family? Am I ready and willing to apply myself?

Overall Marc, I'd say you're luckier than most folks in your current employment situation. Your wife is likely to find a decent job soon (according to your post); your mother-in-law has acceptable living accomodations for your family; you realize that being happy in your career is important to the well-being of your relationships and sanity.

I'd rather not suggest which course of action is best for you (or anyone) to pursue. Instead, I'll just say that going back to school is very workable if financially and emotionally you have the necessary support. Your age, marital status, living arrangements, and the number of kids at home won't affect your ability to succeed back in school if you don't let them. What will have a major impact is constant fighting between you and your spouse if this is not a joint decision.

Good luck, and I hope that this helped in some small way .

 

[Chun-tzu]

Marc, it's not clear to me from your post whether or not you've got a clear direction or plan, as far as the continued education thing goes. I think that's the first step: find a career that will be meaningful to you, or at least one that you can tolerate, that also will enable you to support a family. And IF that's something that requires more education than you already have, go for it. But in most fields, a college degree is no guarantee of employment these days.

I'm a graduate student in a program that feels way too long, but it's not too bad in the sense that I'm single and have no dependents. I have many friends in my program who are doing this as a second career (hating their first one), who have families, and so on. But graduate programs are a lot of work, stress, lost sleep, money, time, and so on. What gets you through is if you know you need it, for what you know you want to do. Without that clear vision from the start, I don't know how anyone would make it through the program. Every time finals roll around, I ask myself why I'm doing this, but then I immediately have an answer, and it helps.

Do some research online into different careers. Take the free online Career Personality Tests that tell you what kinds of jobs you're likely to enjoy. These things really do help you figure out what job would be a good match for you and what wouldn't. Consider talking to a career counselor about your options.

Being unemployed is tough, because when you don't have the same structure of a regular job or school, it can be tough getting into productive modes. Hang tough, and don't give into despair. Good luck!

 

[Piratecat]

I think the most important thing that you can do for your family is complete your undergraduate degree. If you're not in a technical field, having that piece of paper is really worth at the minimum several hundred thousand dollars over the course of your career. For many people, it's the difference between a low-paying and boring job and a higher-paying, challenging one in an interesting field. Oddly enough, for many folks it doesn't especially matter what your grades are or where you went to school; just graduating from college gets you past the initial hurdles that would otherwise disqualify you from the position you'd want.

I'm not so sure that an advanced degree is as important. I think career experience is just as relevant in many vocations.

If you decide to go back to school, I'd involve your mother in law in the decision, since she's letting you guys stay there. It's probably good for her to know that her kindness is paying off real dividends.

 

[tleilaxu]

I think going back to school is the best decision you could possibly make. You'll be amazed how much easier it will be to get a job...

 

[Broken Fang]

Marc -

I finished my undergrad degree many years ago and then went to work for a company that after six years I had pretty much dead-ended any chance of promotion (not beacause of my work, but you pretty much had to be an attractive female for the position above mine). At this time I was married and had an infant daughter. I decided to go back to school to get a degree in teaching, we lived on campus and it was a tough few years. I found myslef spending more time with the family (as they went to bed earlier than I, I just stayed up later to study). During this time in our life we just reprioritized things and it all worked out. Hope you find the direction you want to take and then go for it.

 

[tleilaxu]

I also want to add that things may seem bad now, but in the future you will look at getting booted out of sales as a positive turn of events.

 

[ichabod]

My advice is research your decision before you make it. Be sure you are interested in the jobs you would get and that there is a market for the skills you are learning. My undergraduate degree was in computer programming. I learned how to program macs. When I got out of school, I found that nobody wanted a macintosh programmer. I could have learned another platform, but things went in other directions. When I found myself in a dead end the computer market had collapsed. Now I'm going back to school for a stat degree, which research shows will be useful.

I'm a bachelor, so there are things I don't have to worry about. You also need to look into what your education and job prospects are in your area. Me, I could have moved anywhere I wanted (and in retrospect should have).