King_Stannis
Explorer
that sucks....after two years, i'd think you should have at least gotten some notice.
[OT, Personal] I don't know what to do....
- Thread starter Wolfspider
- Start date
James McMurray
First Post
Ok, here's what you do:
1) Spend at least 5 days wallowing in self-pity. Its no fun, but you've got to get it out of your system. During this time, look back at the relationship and find all the little things you did that drove her away.
2) Spend another 5 days at least in bitterness. During this time, you'll want to be looking at all the things you did that made you a great catch (assuming there are any
). You'll also want to look at things she did that upset you in the past as well.
3) Then, calm down, realize that it isn't the end of everything, just one relationship. At this point, you'll want to track her down and at least get some closure for yourself. Talk about what went wrong and pay attention to her response. If sh seems interested in rekindling the relationship, and you haven't decided she isn't the one for you, then maybe give it a try. On the other hand, if she doesn't seem interested, don't press the issue. Its better to realize that this one is gone and try to move on t the next one than it is to tear yourself apart trying to recapture someone who has moved on.
4) Take a break from the whole relationship arena. This break can be as long or as short as you need it to be, but try not to let it become a forever one. Nobody respects an old bald guy whose only goal in life is to game.
5) Jump back into the arena when you're ready. Something may fall into your lap or you may have to actively pursue it. This depends more on your personality than anything else though. If you're the type to wait for something, then obviously that's more liekly to be what happens. If you're the type who likes the thrill of the chase, by all means findsomeone else to chase for a bit.
Most importantly though: KEEP GAMING!
[EDIT} My wife's name is Traci, so I hope this isn't the Gods' idea of foreshadowing.
[/EDIT]
1) Spend at least 5 days wallowing in self-pity. Its no fun, but you've got to get it out of your system. During this time, look back at the relationship and find all the little things you did that drove her away.
2) Spend another 5 days at least in bitterness. During this time, you'll want to be looking at all the things you did that made you a great catch (assuming there are any
). You'll also want to look at things she did that upset you in the past as well.3) Then, calm down, realize that it isn't the end of everything, just one relationship. At this point, you'll want to track her down and at least get some closure for yourself. Talk about what went wrong and pay attention to her response. If sh seems interested in rekindling the relationship, and you haven't decided she isn't the one for you, then maybe give it a try. On the other hand, if she doesn't seem interested, don't press the issue. Its better to realize that this one is gone and try to move on t the next one than it is to tear yourself apart trying to recapture someone who has moved on.
4) Take a break from the whole relationship arena. This break can be as long or as short as you need it to be, but try not to let it become a forever one. Nobody respects an old bald guy whose only goal in life is to game.
5) Jump back into the arena when you're ready. Something may fall into your lap or you may have to actively pursue it. This depends more on your personality than anything else though. If you're the type to wait for something, then obviously that's more liekly to be what happens. If you're the type who likes the thrill of the chase, by all means findsomeone else to chase for a bit.
Most importantly though: KEEP GAMING!
[EDIT} My wife's name is Traci, so I hope this isn't the Gods' idea of foreshadowing.
[/EDIT]
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I'm sorry to hear this Wolfspider and wish you the quickest recovery and happiness in the future. It's a shame that she didn't talk to you about this. I don't the all of the details but I agree that it seems like you were deserving of much more than a letter.
Ah well, people do all sorts of strange things and if you went out with her for 2 years I'm sure she's a nice person at heart.
Best wishes for your future!
Ah well, people do all sorts of strange things and if you went out with her for 2 years I'm sure she's a nice person at heart.
Best wishes for your future!
James McMurray
First Post
Heck, I find true love at least twice every time I go to a nudie bar. Unfortunately, she never feels the same way.
Drew
Explorer
Here's one gamer who's feeling for you. Keep the faith and give it time. This, too, shall pass. Take my man Henry's advice and blow off some steam. Gaming is a great way to pass the time, but I don't have to tell you that. Keep the faith and take some comfort in the fact that your ENWorld buddies are pulling for you.
Drew
Drew
Wolfspider
Explorer
Thanks for all the advice. It's helping. Keep it coming....
For the main part her leaving came as a complete surprise. Looking back over the last couple weeks, I can clearly see the signs that she was preparing to go. Although she didn't say such in the note (her language was very vague, although she admitted that she loved me and that obviously I love her...which frustrates me), I get the feeling that she was frustrated that I hadn't asked her to marry me yet. I was getting ready to, though...although that's small comfort now. I had been divorced before, and this time I wanted to be sure. I think I waited just a little too long.
I keep thinking back to when I last saw her before I went to work. She kissed me, she gave me a hug, she seemed so happy. No indication at all about what was to come....
For the main part her leaving came as a complete surprise. Looking back over the last couple weeks, I can clearly see the signs that she was preparing to go. Although she didn't say such in the note (her language was very vague, although she admitted that she loved me and that obviously I love her...which frustrates me), I get the feeling that she was frustrated that I hadn't asked her to marry me yet. I was getting ready to, though...although that's small comfort now. I had been divorced before, and this time I wanted to be sure. I think I waited just a little too long.
I keep thinking back to when I last saw her before I went to work. She kissed me, she gave me a hug, she seemed so happy. No indication at all about what was to come....
James McMurray
First Post
Oh Isee. Just ignore allthe hertfelt apologies and good advice being offered on this thread in favor of your favorite incarnation of the thread here. I ese how its gonna be.
Grendel
First Post
I have found that chasing someone who has left you is a bad idea. After a while it becomes a pattern.
Demanding an explanation never works, they will tell you if they want otherwise the confontation just makes for bad feelings. If she wants to talk to you she knows where to find you.
Do not dwell on it. I'm not saying rush out and look for someone new but it doesn't do you any good to sit and pine for her, or waste time pondering the reasons she is gone. She left for HER reasons, you didnt' leave so you have nothing to consider. Go out and try to have fun. Its not likely that you will forget about her soon, or possibly ever BUT life goes on, try to be a part of it.
Shake it off man, she might just need some time and space, give her some breathing room. It will make it easier on both of you.
Demanding an explanation never works, they will tell you if they want otherwise the confontation just makes for bad feelings. If she wants to talk to you she knows where to find you.
Do not dwell on it. I'm not saying rush out and look for someone new but it doesn't do you any good to sit and pine for her, or waste time pondering the reasons she is gone. She left for HER reasons, you didnt' leave so you have nothing to consider. Go out and try to have fun. Its not likely that you will forget about her soon, or possibly ever BUT life goes on, try to be a part of it.
Shake it off man, she might just need some time and space, give her some breathing room. It will make it easier on both of you.
Corinth
First Post
That's almost as bad as being dumped by email on your own BBS, and it's still damned lame and cowardly of her to do that. Screw what the others say; demand an explanation and force her to account for her behavior. Leaving you in the lurch like this is far more damaging than telling you off in no uncertain terms, both in the short and in the long run.Wolfspider said:
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