“Call me G-Cube, motherf*****r.”
- Gelatinous Cube upon finding adventurers in his hizouse
“Yo, when you gonna make a spell for a Tiny Pimpin’ Crib?”
- Gelatinous Cube upon encountering a startled Leomund
“Hudsf hskk zzzhhh sudusfl sflf.”
- Tarrasque’s last words, but since there’s only one Tarrasque, and he’s the only one that speaks Tarrasque, it loses a bit of its dramatic flair.
“Bobgoblin! Bobgoblin! Hahaha! Bobgoblin!”
- Mean-spirited hobgoblin children teasing the hobgoblin child Robert K. Perriwinkle
“Ok, I want to stare down that annoying medusa.”
- Rufus the Orc after the DM, the vampire Izkath, Dominated him and made his Brd1/Drd1 halfling character say certain suicidal statements.
DM: “Ok, you see him - the barbarian with the wild, black beard.”
PC: “Finally! I ask her to come taste steel.”
DM: “Huh? I said you see HIM.”
PC: “Oh. Alright, what is she wearing? Is it her?”
DM: “What is HE wearing, right? It’s a HIM.”
PC: (confused) “But the PHB always switches between ‘he’ and ‘her’ at random?”
DM: “Oh, yah, well – we have a house rule that disallows attempts at being ridiculously politically correct.”
PC: “So we’re allowed to call Thorabin a dw-“
DM: “Stop right there. You still have to refer to dwarves as ‘little people’…”
“How long does the deafness from a thunderstone last?”
- Rufus the Orc after his character failed his save, to which the entire monster gaming group erupted into derisive peals of laughter.
“Can you here me now?...Can you hear me now?...Can you hear me now?”
- Said by Fred the Fiendish Half-Fiend as he wandered around the basement, speaking into his cell phone, and pointing at Rufus.
“Oh, man, you friggin’ stink! I mean – by the gods – what a stench!”
- Gary “The Annoying” Ghast
“This sucks man. No one ever fights me. Why even put me in the Monster Manual, huh? Screw this game, man. Screw it I say!?”
- Sir Cachalot Whale
Fred: “What do you get when you cross a bug with a bear?”
Rufus: “I give up. What?”
Fred: “A bugbear! Hahaha hahahA ahahah!”
G-Cube: “Dayum, dog! That **** was some funny *******, man! You go dog!”
- Gelatinous Cube upon finding adventurers in his hizouse
“Yo, when you gonna make a spell for a Tiny Pimpin’ Crib?”
- Gelatinous Cube upon encountering a startled Leomund
“Hudsf hskk zzzhhh sudusfl sflf.”
- Tarrasque’s last words, but since there’s only one Tarrasque, and he’s the only one that speaks Tarrasque, it loses a bit of its dramatic flair.
“Bobgoblin! Bobgoblin! Hahaha! Bobgoblin!”
- Mean-spirited hobgoblin children teasing the hobgoblin child Robert K. Perriwinkle
“Ok, I want to stare down that annoying medusa.”
- Rufus the Orc after the DM, the vampire Izkath, Dominated him and made his Brd1/Drd1 halfling character say certain suicidal statements.
DM: “Ok, you see him - the barbarian with the wild, black beard.”
PC: “Finally! I ask her to come taste steel.”
DM: “Huh? I said you see HIM.”
PC: “Oh. Alright, what is she wearing? Is it her?”
DM: “What is HE wearing, right? It’s a HIM.”
PC: (confused) “But the PHB always switches between ‘he’ and ‘her’ at random?”
DM: “Oh, yah, well – we have a house rule that disallows attempts at being ridiculously politically correct.”
PC: “So we’re allowed to call Thorabin a dw-“
DM: “Stop right there. You still have to refer to dwarves as ‘little people’…”
“How long does the deafness from a thunderstone last?”
- Rufus the Orc after his character failed his save, to which the entire monster gaming group erupted into derisive peals of laughter.
“Can you here me now?...Can you hear me now?...Can you hear me now?”
- Said by Fred the Fiendish Half-Fiend as he wandered around the basement, speaking into his cell phone, and pointing at Rufus.
“Oh, man, you friggin’ stink! I mean – by the gods – what a stench!”
- Gary “The Annoying” Ghast
“This sucks man. No one ever fights me. Why even put me in the Monster Manual, huh? Screw this game, man. Screw it I say!?”
- Sir Cachalot Whale
Fred: “What do you get when you cross a bug with a bear?”
Rufus: “I give up. What?”
Fred: “A bugbear! Hahaha hahahA ahahah!”
G-Cube: “Dayum, dog! That **** was some funny *******, man! You go dog!”
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