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Message: <blockquote data-quote="silvertable81" data-source="post: 833177" data-attributes="member: 6917"> B.W.: Good evening, ladies and gennowmen. Tonight’s guest may be known to a select few of you as one of the top agents in the P.R.A., The Planar Retrieval Agency, an agency dedicated to retrieve lost, stolen, and misused artifacts from throughout space, time, and alternate planes. His identity must remain a secret, therefore we have shrouded his face in Obscuring Mist and I may only refer to him by his initials B.J.J.B.C.T.S.  I’ll be your host on this inter-dimensional interview, Bobwah Waters, and this is An Evening With Bobwah Waters, a production of Bobwah Waters Productions Inc. On this channel BWS, the Bobwah Waters Scrycasting Network. How are you this evening, B.J.J.B.C.T.S. ? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: I’m pretty tired actually, I just got back from... B.W.: Yeah, that’s great, more of this spine-tingling interview, after a word from our sponsors. (Pause) CUT! (Pause) Stu! Get your lanky {edited for content }down here! What in the nine {edited for content } is this? I’ve interviewed {edited for content } dwarven nobles with less { edited for content }initials! What?!?(Pause) What do you mean they’re still scrying, I said cut!COMMERCIAL BREAK B.W.: Thank you for rejoining our interview. Now B.J.J.B.C.T.S. I’ve been told that you come from very humble beginnings, care to elaborate? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Huh, yeah, well, I, uh, came from, that is I was born and raised in the Kentucky foothills on Earth Prime 3.7.2 For y’all who don’t know, that’s backwoods of backwoods. First time I ever set foot more’n ten klicks from home, I’s a fifteen year old runaway. B.W.: Oh, my, how did you ever get along? Were you at least properly educated? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: No Ma’am but my folks had satellite tv. B.W.: And probably Dee Ess Ell Internet, as well, I presume? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, Yeah, but, no. B.W.: Huh?!? I don’t follow. B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, yeah that’s what it’s called, but no, even though the world’s Mod-Sci, pornography was highly illegal, so the internet never really took off. Anyways we had, like thirty or forty versions of the Discovery Channel. I taught myself as much as I could. B.W.: So, you ran away, then what happened? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, I moved to New York City in the great state of Bensylvania. But at the time, I had no real skills, I could speak Niponese, and ride a dirt bike, but that’s about it. Not much call for that on a Mod-Sci world. B.W.: So, you say it’s a Mod-Psi world? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: No, Ma’am, Mod-Sci. B.W.: (Sighs) (Pause) Cut!COMMERCIAL BREAK B.W.: ...so, I said I just met the guy. (Laughs) Oh, uh, for those of you just joining us, I’m speaking with B.J.J.B.C.T.S. about his life before the P.R.A., now where were we? Ah, yes, tell our scriers about New York City. B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, when I got to New York, I had no real skills, so I joined a local gang. They pretty much showed me the ins and outs of the city. How to fight dirty, and get into and out of places without being noticed. B.W.: (Whispers) Can you pick up the pace a bit, we only have a four hour time slot. B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Oh, uh, well, after about three years of thievin’, I finally got busted. They tried me as an adult and sentenced me to seven years in prison. All I was allowed to keep, was my guitar and my Harmonica. The other inmates thought of my music as inspiring, maybe even fascinating. B.W.: O.K. enough about that, when do we get to the part about the arena bag? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Oh, well, that’s an interesting story. After about two years of being incarcerated, the warden figgered out no one would miss me if’n I vanished, so he sent a goon squad after me. B.W.: Oh my, were you scared? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Not really, but if I knew then what I know now, maybe. To me it looked like a shiny little stick with a bird’s foot attached. Anyways, he held it to my head and said to get in the bag or die, so I got in the bag, that’s when my life and my world changed... B.W.: Oh, my this sounds like an excellent time for a dramatic pause. (Pause) Cut! Yeah, right, Drama. OOOOH, I’m a singer, gods, what a horrible interview. I’d rather be interviewing Cher again, she never gets old...COMMERCIAL BREAK B.W.: Welcome back, we were just about to talk about what went on inside the arena bag. B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, as you may have heard on the news, the bag was a small portable plane, just like a reg’lar Bag of Holding, ‘cept it weighed less and had a larger inside. These guys went all through the planes and took people, some reg’lar, some exceptional, all unattached and pro’lly not missed. They made us fight, and had folks from all across the planes bettin’ on us. B.W.: That’s where you met Katharrgh, isn’t it? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Yes, Katharrgh was my first opponent and ended up my greatest friend. B.W.: So, how did you escape? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Oh, well, an agent from P.R.A. was on the inside as a gladiator. After about five months of constant fighting, he came to me, ‘cause we’d been booked for a death match at the next Pay-Per-View. Well, during the match we both attacked the walls instead of each other. Eventually, we pierced the bag and we all spilled out into Planescape 2.7.9. B.W.: Wait, I thought this was Planescape 2.7.8. B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: It is, but anyways, the P.R.A. thought I’d done such a bang up job keeping my cool, they offered me a payin’ gig. B.W.: So, what types of missions do you perform now? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, it’s usually pretty much straight retrieval, but sometimes a special mission comes along. The one I’m on right now involves stopping an invention from being invented. B.W.: Uh, right now?!? What do you mean?!? Hey, what’s that?!? Why do you have that knife?!? B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: O.K., ya’ll, that’s a cut and a wrap. (Whispers) Now, Miss Waters, What makes you think that people actually need pop-up advertising on their crystal balls?STATIC For more transcripts of Bobwah Waters presents, An Evening With Bobwah Waters, or Bobwah Waters Interviews..., send a self returning teleport envelope to:Bobwah Watersc/o Bobwah Waters ProductionsBobwah WaySigilPlanescape 2.7.8Act now, supplies are running out, and they’ll soon be collectors items.</blockquote>

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