PLANAR RETRIEVAL AGENCY- The Lost Ring

[megamania]

I and another person will be running an ongoing Planescape adventure here at this site. The jisp of the stories I plan to lay out is simple. There are several bounty hunter/lost item retriever agencies within Sigil. The Planar Retrieval Agency is the one I will dabble with here. 2-3 central figures will be given the job of locating specific persons, items or artifacts within the planes and return with said person or item. Sounds easy? Think again.

There are rules about this kind of work. It is strictly forbidden to alter another plane. It would not due to introduce Magic in a non-magical world or plane. The Retrievers may not alter the society or world in a way that may change it's normal ongoing history. For ease of giving an example of what I mean- let's say they show up on OUR plane in 1941. They inadvertenly prewarn Pearl Harbor thus there is no major attack on December 7th. Now the US dosen't get involved for another year or two and Germany and Japan co-rule the world. oops.

Also, they will be jumping through TIME as well as planes. Some planes may be altered. Ever wonder what if Elminster was CE and decided to conqueor Faerun? What is a truce was made during the Blood War? What is the South won the Civil War?

Stories will visit worlds and planes similiar to known ones like Forgotten Realms, Greyhawk or even Ravenloft. Also expect d20 Modern or Call of Cthulu. Maybe even themes involving the Matrix or Terminator. Anything goes and proberly will.

Anyone that has followed Killer in Kalidnay or the Story Hour- Under a Darksun know I have an unique taste and flow to my story telling.

Characters will be pre-epic level. I believe 15th. The show should begin by mid-April.

Once we have begun, I may be asking for "guest NPCs" from the readership.

So sit back, enjoy and wonder "If they ask if you are a gawd- SAY YES!"

 

[Uriel]

Woohoo!!!! Me, Me!

I have been itching to play a Planescape game for quite a while now.
Any guidelines on characters? I assume that pretty much anything is possible, seeing as it is Sigil and all.
Where else can Fiends and Celestials play a game of Chess while discussing the nature of Reality.

 

[megamania]

We are fin tuning characters now and I am working on scaling adventures and getting them on paper.

Now, Allow me to introduce Data Manager Input (DM input). A mechanical type fairie buzzes (rockets) to the from of your screen.
"I am referred to as Data Manager Input by the retrievers. It is my job and duty to record and to report retrievers through the planes. I have extensive memories inputted of many planes. I can help the retrievers know where the most likely houseing is, what to say, how to dress and what to expect. I have recorded events like the birth of a galaxy as seen from a deathstar destroyer, Apocalypse conqueor the entire world, and the overthrow of Ao."

"I am strictly a non-combatant. I am there to record and reproduce data only. It is in my programming to only do so."

"I have been asked by our sponcers to communicate to you viewers a few starting facts for the program."

"The universe is made of intertwinning and overlapping layers. In the middle is Sigil. Sigil is a large city outside of time and reality. It exists only because the gods each will it to be so. As such, it is protected by these gods. From Sigil originate the "Core" lines of existance. Each Core Line is referred to a name given to it by the gods. Some of these gods had unusual senses of humor. Greenwood named his core line Forgotten Realms. Gyrax named his Greyhawk. Stan Lee refers to his own as Marvel."

"Each of these core lines is the true fate and destiny of said planar existance. However, sometimes there are events that cause divergance frayed threads from the core lines. These changes forever alter the branch. Events still may occur extremely similiar in each thread (the core and the divergent) but there is something added or subtracted to make it unique."

"Using advanced technologies, epic magics and reality changing psionics we may travel these threads and return. We use an item called a homing ball."

[DM input rockets off screen then returns rolling a large black and dark gray ball with a rough texture]

"This is a homing ball. To return to Sigil, all we need to do is think of Sigil and then smash the ball. This allows us access to the god's travelways and we can quickly travel on a planar level without terrible messes and accidents."

"That is but the beginning of how and what Planar Retrievers are. Stay tuned for the next posting....remember- I'm recording you."

 

[megamania]

"You did what and us to do what and for how much?!?!?!? Get outta here ya sorry excuse for a lawful evil thing you!!!!"

A large overweight shaved bugbear tosses out a winged red skin infernal creature. This unusual bugbear goes by the name of Bost. Many of his employees refer to him as The Boss. He stinks of liqueor, BO and bad Tyrian cigars. He dresses in cotton pants, white shirt and a twisted (badly tied) tie. A facial scar reveals his experiences in the field.

"Ah wadda youse want?" he says looking at the you, the viewers. Oh yeah- I was to tell youse about the Agency and my role within it."

"I run this place and control it. I and my secretary- Tamster see potencial clients. I listen to what they have to say and decide if they qualify (have enough money to pay me). If they do, I have them see our head shrinker. Bert. Bert somehow psychically tunes the last known wherabouts of lost item or person believed to be holding it (the rats) to a Homing Ball gizmo. A team of Retrievers then goes and gets the item for me and I get my money."

"Understand" said in a voice that dosen't invite comment.

In buzzes DM Input- "Bost- you have a question from the audience...I am recording it now...proceed"

Bost, half turned away stops in mid stride and snarls and bites down on his stinky (never unlit or burnt out magical stinky cigar). "Whatz itzit yah priimative earther- I got a bottle of Mallak B/W label awaiting me"

An earther (that looks like Horatio) types in- "I think this could be great fun. What happens next?"

"Rargh- As it happens there is a case coming up Tamster refers to as "The Lost Ring". I'll be sending a few men there along with DM Input. I'll let that blasted o-zoning destroying metalliac bugbgirl report to you as it is happening."

"Now youse will have excuse me- Young and the Shameless is coming on and I need to find out if Bruce, whom is dieing of an unknown disease finds out if his wife is cheating on him with his Brother with Another Mother."

Bost leaves very quickly chewing on his cigar aggressively.

 

[megamania]

"H-H-H-hello, my name is Kenny." long pause of uncertainity.

"I work for the Planar Retrieval Agency." long pause of discomfort.

"I die a lot" is blurted out.

Long silence then DM Input zooms in.

"I am Data Management Input. I record everything I see and watch. I must apoligize for Kenny. He just became animated again a few minutes ago."

The metalliac fairy hovers by Kenny's hand. "This is a powerful Ring of Regeneration he found on his first mission with us. Unknown to any of us (even myself) the ring also has a powerful curse on it. No one has yet been able to remove it. Poor Kenny...those bastards....."

DM Input flys up close to the screen. "Kenny is sensitive about this but the ring has a curse that draws the first and/or most powerful attack towards him (as a possible crit). Often this action kills him but the ring then brings him back to life....kinda."

"In my complete records I have recorded 87 fireballs, 45 lightning bolts, 23 poisons, 105 vorpal strikes (23 were from the same sadistic Orc warlord), 34 pit traps and 324 various other times he has been put to death but later come back to serve the Agency."

 

[megamania]

In all seriousness (yeah right)....

Once I introduce a few more caste members along with the other player's character we will begin and get a bit more serious in our approach.

The Sigil I am using is of my own creation has nearly nothing in common with the Planescape Sigil. If you know the campaign setting I'm sure you figured this out already.

My version is a large (near infinite) sized city that floats outside of time and reality. It is the god's gateway to the various worlds and planes.

As a final note and please- I'm serious here- If I or Silvertable go too far with the bad jokes e-mail me. I want to entertain you with something totally off the wall not insult you.

I am also considering doing a Story Hour of this Agency using another team of Retrievers. It will done much like my Under a Darksun Storyhour. I am the only "player" involved but there are stats and checks for any and all characters that I will use. I find this allows me to work on the characteration but maintain a bit of surprise for myself as I roll a 1 three times in a roll unexpectedly or the such. It will be more serious than this story but use the same supporting caste and motiff. Search the planes for lost items commissioned to be found and earn big bucks while altering said planes as little as possible.

Have a good weekend. I expect Silvertable will be introducing his character within a few hours.

 

[silvertable81]

B.W.: Good evening, ladies and gennowmen. Tonight’s guest may be known to a select few of you as one of the top agents in the P.R.A., The Planar Retrieval Agency, an agency dedicated to retrieve lost, stolen, and misused artifacts from throughout space, time, and alternate planes. His identity must remain a secret, therefore we have shrouded his face in Obscuring Mist and I may only refer to him by his initials B.J.J.B.C.T.S.
I’ll be your host on this inter-dimensional interview, Bobwah Waters, and this is An Evening With Bobwah Waters, a production of Bobwah Waters Productions Inc. On this channel BWS, the Bobwah Waters Scrycasting Network.
How are you this evening, B.J.J.B.C.T.S. ?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: I’m pretty tired actually, I just got back from...

B.W.: Yeah, that’s great, more of this spine-tingling interview, after a word from our sponsors. (Pause) CUT! (Pause) Stu! Get your lanky {edited for content }down here! What in the nine {edited for content } is this? I’ve interviewed {edited for content } dwarven nobles with less { edited for content }initials! What?!?(Pause) What do you mean they’re still scrying, I said cut!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

B.W.: Thank you for rejoining our interview. Now B.J.J.B.C.T.S. I’ve been told that you come from very humble beginnings, care to elaborate?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Huh, yeah, well, I, uh, came from, that is I was born and raised in the Kentucky foothills on Earth Prime 3.7.2 For y’all who don’t know, that’s backwoods of backwoods. First time I ever set foot more’n ten klicks from home, I’s a fifteen year old runaway.

B.W.: Oh, my, how did you ever get along? Were you at least properly educated?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: No Ma’am but my folks had satellite tv.

B.W.: And probably Dee Ess Ell Internet, as well, I presume?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, Yeah, but, no.

B.W.: Huh?!? I don’t follow.

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, yeah that’s what it’s called, but no, even though the world’s Mod-Sci, pornography was highly illegal, so the internet never really took off. Anyways we had, like thirty or forty versions of the Discovery Channel. I taught myself as much as I could.

B.W.: So, you ran away, then what happened?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, I moved to New York City in the great state of Bensylvania. But at the time, I had no real skills, I could speak Niponese, and ride a dirt bike, but that’s about it. Not much call for that on a Mod-Sci world.

B.W.: So, you say it’s a Mod-Psi world?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: No, Ma’am, Mod-Sci.

B.W.: (Sighs) (Pause) Cut!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

B.W.: ...so, I said I just met the guy. (Laughs) Oh, uh, for those of you just joining us, I’m speaking with B.J.J.B.C.T.S. about his life before the P.R.A., now where were we? Ah, yes, tell our scriers about New York City.
B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, when I got to New York, I had no real skills, so I joined a local gang. They pretty much showed me the ins and outs of the city. How to fight dirty, and get into and out of places without being noticed.

B.W.: (Whispers) Can you pick up the pace a bit, we only have a four hour time slot.

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Oh, uh, well, after about three years of thievin’, I finally got busted. They tried me as an adult and sentenced me to seven years in prison. All I was allowed to keep, was my guitar and my Harmonica. The other inmates thought of my music as inspiring, maybe even fascinating.

B.W.: O.K. enough about that, when do we get to the part about the arena bag?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Oh, well, that’s an interesting story. After about two years of being incarcerated, the warden figgered out no one would miss me if’n I vanished, so he sent a goon squad after me.

B.W.: Oh my, were you scared?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Not really, but if I knew then what I know now, maybe. To me it looked like a shiny little stick with a bird’s foot attached. Anyways, he held it to my head and said to get in the bag or die, so I got in the bag, that’s when my life and my world changed...

B.W.: Oh, my this sounds like an excellent time for a dramatic pause. (Pause) Cut! Yeah, right, Drama. OOOOH, I’m a singer, gods, what a horrible interview. I’d rather be interviewing Cher again, she never gets old...

COMMERCIAL BREAK

B.W.: Welcome back, we were just about to talk about what went on inside the arena bag.

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, as you may have heard on the news, the bag was a small portable plane, just like a reg’lar Bag of Holding, ‘cept it weighed less and had a larger inside. These guys went all through the planes and took people, some reg’lar, some exceptional, all unattached and pro’lly not missed. They made us fight, and had folks from all across the planes bettin’ on us.

B.W.: That’s where you met Katharrgh, isn’t it?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Yes, Katharrgh was my first opponent and ended up my greatest friend.

B.W.: So, how did you escape?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Oh, well, an agent from P.R.A. was on the inside as a gladiator. After about five months of constant fighting, he came to me, ‘cause we’d been booked for a death match at the next Pay-Per-View. Well, during the match we both attacked the walls instead of each other. Eventually, we pierced the bag and we all spilled out into Planescape 2.7.9.

B.W.: Wait, I thought this was Planescape 2.7.8.

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: It is, but anyways, the P.R.A. thought I’d done such a bang up job keeping my cool, they offered me a payin’ gig.

B.W.: So, what types of missions do you perform now?

B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: Well, it’s usually pretty much straight retrieval, but sometimes a special mission comes along. The one I’m on right now involves stopping an invention from being invented.

B.W.: Uh, right now?!? What do you mean?!? Hey, what’s that?!? Why do you have that knife?!?


B.J.J.B.C.T.S.: O.K., ya’ll, that’s a cut and a wrap. (Whispers) Now, Miss Waters, What makes you think that people actually need pop-up advertising on their crystal balls?

STATIC

For more transcripts of Bobwah Waters presents, An Evening With Bobwah Waters, or Bobwah Waters Interviews..., send a self returning teleport envelope to:
Bobwah Waters
c/o Bobwah Waters Productions
Bobwah Way
Sigil
Planescape 2.7.8

Act now, supplies are running out, and they’ll soon be collectors items.

 

[silvertable81]

Just started working on character details, but the general idea is there.

-------------------------------------------------

Out of Character and guest appearances.

 

[silvertable81]

The Character sheet is now publicly viewable.

Out of Character and guest appearances.
Coop’s Character Sheet

 

[megamania]

boo-yah!