Thought you would get a kick out of this.
I uncovered the quote a couple of days ago and I realize this story went untold. This occured early in Shemeska's Planescape game. To make this make sense, we are using the 4d6 method of char gen.
Our group had been forced to enter one of Her dread majesty's mazes, and retrieve an item from it. This particular maze was the one which contained the former faction known as the Incantarium, a society which consumes magic to live. After fighting our way to a tower, we discover that they had killed each other down to two. They were in constant deadlocked conflict, and warred several times, sending spells back and forth.
Using detection magic, one was a LE litch, and the other a CE human.
The Woman said "Help me defeat him and you will be greatly rewarded."
The Litch said "I would make a deal with you, and I can keep it, which is more than she can promise."
Needless to say, we decided on the litch. Except the player playing the risen succubus sorceror.
"I go over and talk to the woman."
The Litch through a force wall up in between us and the woman, to allow us time to talk to him. Which put us outside of saving distance.
The GM allowed the player time to run, or yell for help, but he decided that his character would walk up and parlley with the woman. The woman licked her lips and looked the PC up and down. She then cast haste, and the player asked what she wanted.
At this, I chimed in. "And this ladies and gentlemen is what?s known as a 4d6 moment.?
A couple failed fort saves later, that character made a rather taste treat for a rather evil woman. We eventually retreived the remains of her soul but the character was gone.
The Player decided on a Kobold Gatecrasher/Rogue. Cool concept, bad saves, but we will get into that another time.
Here are some other quotes with less set up. Hope you enjoy
?Actually, I DO sleep with my sword.?
?Well, if you weren?t Jewesh before, you are now!?
?And what did this? Butler? look like exactly??
?Umm? like a butler. Oh and he was a tiefling!?
?Well, that?s one h--- of a shapeshifter!?
?And this ladies and gentlemen is what?s known as a 4d6 moment.?
While in the Gatetown of Hopeless:
?Wow, I take it Joseph and Technicolor Dreamcoat didn?t go over well here.?
?The buildings are worn, homogenous and uniformly gray. They seem neglected and ill cared for in the extreme judging by their exterior condition?
?Wow, sounds like NY.?
?Hey Mr. Rumsfeld!? ? said to a 16 HD Beholder
?At one point you see four members of the town watch beating someone.?
?I didn?t know we were in LA?!?
On the Sigil Advisory Council:
?It?s like Congress with a two drink minimum!?
Speaking about the tiefling shadowdancer: ?He?s the master of the fine art of getting the f--- out!?
?Don?t you just love gnomish inventions?!!?
?Yep! Right up until they have a catastrophic mechanical failure!? *wiggles eyebrows and holds up the percentile dice*
?Oh c---!?
?As he takes out a scroll and pen to take your names and details, the Arcanaloth looks distinctly bored with his job.?
?Well we can make it interesting!?
?Speaking as a Catholic and an Eagle Scout, don?t make me kick your face in!?
?I think I sum up everyone?s opinion on the Kobold?s personal life when I say the following: ?Oooohhhh?. Chairlegs!??
?It?s amazing how someone with a 17 wisdom can have so little common sense.?
?Holy water not a lube!?
?Yes, you have to look up, he?s wearing platform shoes.?
?This may sound bad, but, what?s my girlfriend?s name??
When Shemeska the Marauder visits the PC?s tavern just to make an annoyance of her self:
?Oh sh--! I?m so tempted to jump in the fire portal.?
?There?s a note on my bag of holding that reads, ?Let me out when the bitch is gone.??
?The spell isn?t actually ?blindness/deafness?, its detect b----!?
?You detect an overwhelming aura of bulls---!?
?Her Dread Majesty can make her own brutality thank you very much.?
?I slam the bag of devouring over the mephit!?
?You what!??
?Rhys doesn?t move, she doesn?t actually do a thing.?
?Oh then we?re fine!?
?Dear Lord! It?s like a xenomorph got implanted by a Slaadi!?
?You screamed like a little girly man!?
?No, I was actually choking on diet coke.?
?Just the way she likes it!?
?Oh? You mean with a sandpaper condom.?
?Girls always go to the bathroom in groups. Come on Clueless!?
?WHAT?!? ? male character?
?Hey now, I?ve never fallen asleep while running this game.?
?That?s because you?re too busy laughing at us inside your head!?
?Damnit! There?s violence happening and I?m not part of it!?
?Like a child on Xmas morning I can?t go back to sleep!?
?It?s not called getting killed, its called giving the kobold a very large financial gain.?
?Oh boy, he?s got spell turning up with a few levels left on it. What level is that spell again? Ok, you have a 1/3 chance and he has a 2/3 chance of being affected.?
?If Camille asks, YOU were shadowing her character today!?
?And this is all going into a box labled don?t f------ open this!?
?Don?t listen to the slut of the party on sex advice.?
?I swear I?m gonna rip his head off and beat him with it till candy pops out!?
?It?s the adventures of captain tighta-- and the spooky b---!?
?If we can?t loiter, what do the people of Hopeless do all day??
?Get beat up for loitering??
?Are you sure I can?t shrink wrap the mephit??
?I know infernal, so I proceed to mock her!?
?Nobody?s missing, nothing happened. Oh except the tiefling caught the clap.?
?That would be stupid!?
?And that?s apparently why you?re doing it.?
?This is not the apathy you?re looking for.? ? a jedi at the gatehouse
I uncovered the quote a couple of days ago and I realize this story went untold. This occured early in Shemeska's Planescape game. To make this make sense, we are using the 4d6 method of char gen.
Our group had been forced to enter one of Her dread majesty's mazes, and retrieve an item from it. This particular maze was the one which contained the former faction known as the Incantarium, a society which consumes magic to live. After fighting our way to a tower, we discover that they had killed each other down to two. They were in constant deadlocked conflict, and warred several times, sending spells back and forth.
Using detection magic, one was a LE litch, and the other a CE human.
The Woman said "Help me defeat him and you will be greatly rewarded."
The Litch said "I would make a deal with you, and I can keep it, which is more than she can promise."
Needless to say, we decided on the litch. Except the player playing the risen succubus sorceror.
"I go over and talk to the woman."
The Litch through a force wall up in between us and the woman, to allow us time to talk to him. Which put us outside of saving distance.
The GM allowed the player time to run, or yell for help, but he decided that his character would walk up and parlley with the woman. The woman licked her lips and looked the PC up and down. She then cast haste, and the player asked what she wanted.
At this, I chimed in. "And this ladies and gentlemen is what?s known as a 4d6 moment.?
A couple failed fort saves later, that character made a rather taste treat for a rather evil woman. We eventually retreived the remains of her soul but the character was gone.
The Player decided on a Kobold Gatecrasher/Rogue. Cool concept, bad saves, but we will get into that another time.
Here are some other quotes with less set up. Hope you enjoy
?Actually, I DO sleep with my sword.?
?Well, if you weren?t Jewesh before, you are now!?
?And what did this? Butler? look like exactly??
?Umm? like a butler. Oh and he was a tiefling!?
?Well, that?s one h--- of a shapeshifter!?
?And this ladies and gentlemen is what?s known as a 4d6 moment.?
While in the Gatetown of Hopeless:
?Wow, I take it Joseph and Technicolor Dreamcoat didn?t go over well here.?
?The buildings are worn, homogenous and uniformly gray. They seem neglected and ill cared for in the extreme judging by their exterior condition?
?Wow, sounds like NY.?
?Hey Mr. Rumsfeld!? ? said to a 16 HD Beholder
?At one point you see four members of the town watch beating someone.?
?I didn?t know we were in LA?!?
On the Sigil Advisory Council:
?It?s like Congress with a two drink minimum!?
Speaking about the tiefling shadowdancer: ?He?s the master of the fine art of getting the f--- out!?
?Don?t you just love gnomish inventions?!!?
?Yep! Right up until they have a catastrophic mechanical failure!? *wiggles eyebrows and holds up the percentile dice*
?Oh c---!?
?As he takes out a scroll and pen to take your names and details, the Arcanaloth looks distinctly bored with his job.?
?Well we can make it interesting!?
?Speaking as a Catholic and an Eagle Scout, don?t make me kick your face in!?
?I think I sum up everyone?s opinion on the Kobold?s personal life when I say the following: ?Oooohhhh?. Chairlegs!??
?It?s amazing how someone with a 17 wisdom can have so little common sense.?
?Holy water not a lube!?
?Yes, you have to look up, he?s wearing platform shoes.?
?This may sound bad, but, what?s my girlfriend?s name??
When Shemeska the Marauder visits the PC?s tavern just to make an annoyance of her self:
?Oh sh--! I?m so tempted to jump in the fire portal.?
?There?s a note on my bag of holding that reads, ?Let me out when the bitch is gone.??
?The spell isn?t actually ?blindness/deafness?, its detect b----!?
?You detect an overwhelming aura of bulls---!?
?Her Dread Majesty can make her own brutality thank you very much.?
?I slam the bag of devouring over the mephit!?
?You what!??
?Rhys doesn?t move, she doesn?t actually do a thing.?
?Oh then we?re fine!?
?Dear Lord! It?s like a xenomorph got implanted by a Slaadi!?
?You screamed like a little girly man!?
?No, I was actually choking on diet coke.?
?Just the way she likes it!?
?Oh? You mean with a sandpaper condom.?
?Girls always go to the bathroom in groups. Come on Clueless!?
?WHAT?!? ? male character?
?Hey now, I?ve never fallen asleep while running this game.?
?That?s because you?re too busy laughing at us inside your head!?
?Damnit! There?s violence happening and I?m not part of it!?
?Like a child on Xmas morning I can?t go back to sleep!?
?It?s not called getting killed, its called giving the kobold a very large financial gain.?
?Oh boy, he?s got spell turning up with a few levels left on it. What level is that spell again? Ok, you have a 1/3 chance and he has a 2/3 chance of being affected.?
?If Camille asks, YOU were shadowing her character today!?
?And this is all going into a box labled don?t f------ open this!?
?Don?t listen to the slut of the party on sex advice.?
?I swear I?m gonna rip his head off and beat him with it till candy pops out!?
?It?s the adventures of captain tighta-- and the spooky b---!?
?If we can?t loiter, what do the people of Hopeless do all day??
?Get beat up for loitering??
?Are you sure I can?t shrink wrap the mephit??
?I know infernal, so I proceed to mock her!?
?Nobody?s missing, nothing happened. Oh except the tiefling caught the clap.?
?That would be stupid!?
?And that?s apparently why you?re doing it.?
?This is not the apathy you?re looking for.? ? a jedi at the gatehouse
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