I am fortunate to not have been burned by this myself over much. However, the sort of language I constantly see go hand in hand with "player skill over character skill" are phrases like "I'm not here to hold the players' hands." and "My job is to be a neutral referee/arbiter." Those two are not unreasonable precepts, but they do make me nervous when I hear a GM lead with them. It signposts to me we might be looking for fun in very different ways.
I use those phrases.
I would also say that it is
because I use them I personally consider it so critical to establish a common framework, and to respond reasonably and with an open mind when players question their understanding of the situation or a ruling I've made.
Both sides of the table could be acting in 100% good faith, but if one of the guiding principles for adjudication is "Player ideas need to impress me" and the players are not impressing that GM, that could lead to a very miserable experience. Many social activities have more strict bounds for what interactions to expect, and my stance is very much about preventing negative experiences. I introduce a lot of new players, and I do not want risk driving them away because of bad initial trial. I've heard that story too many times.
I agree with this. Players don't need to impress me, they just need to come up with plans that would work (of have a chance of working) given the facts of the situation. I don't see how a requirement that the players impress the GM is compatible with being a neutral arbiter (nor do I recall seeing anyone claim it is), so I'm completely with you on this one.
I have no clue what exactly it is that you've heard that people do that drives people away, but it has to do with GMs saying things fail because they're inadequately impressed, that doesn't sound like it has anything to do with player skill or lack thereof, to me.
Like I said, I try and be generous to my players, assume character competence, and interpret them in the best possible light, reading vagueness of plans in their favor when possible.
Again, nothing you're saying here really conflicts with my GMing philosophy, which is quite player-skill oriented. I don't necessarily interpret things in the best possible light, but this isn't a binary situation where the alternative is interpreting them in a negative light.
Instead, I'm very likely to seek clarification. It's not my job to decide for the players what they're doing, but it
is my job to ensure their decisions are made with a clear understanding of the situation (as clear as it would be for the characters). I see no reason to assume much of anything about their intent when I can just ask them outright what their intent is. If the players say they're doing something and it seems to me that their character's should know better, I will seek clarification and endeavour to root out any miscommunication. If the plan is vague in an area where clarity is needed, I ask for clarity. This is a game where a substantial proportion of what we do is talk to each other; clear back and forth communication is essential.
We are pretty much on the same page regarding competence, assuming there's no explicit reason to assume incompetence.
It does not sound like the people who prioritize player skill really want me in their camp.
Based on what you've actually said in this thread, as long as you were willing to participate in good faith, I would see no reason not to want you at my table and no reason to think you wouldn't fit in. It's entirely possible that you're not looking for the same things as me in RPGs, but I don't see any reason to believe my GMing style would lead you to feel a loss of agency or as if you're playing mother-may-I, unless you enter the game already convinced that's what it's going to be.