Problems with Gaming Group Member

[Bloodstone Mage]

Recently, our gaming group has the problem with a member who plays in my campaign and loves to DM (and is actually DMing the current game right now at my FLGS). I know, the catch-all solution would be to kick him out, but our gaming group is already low on gamers as it is. This member, who we'll refer to as "Chuck" for the purposes of this thread, is quite plainly being a jerk. Whenever someone tells him something, he says, in this sarcastic tone: "Wow. Like I care." Whenever I tell him about a rule or about the new RPG products or even about a sequel to one of his favorite movies, he'll just go, "Wow. Like I care." Also, all of his characters act the same way. Chuck quits a game when he doesn't get his way, and he shows up late to game sessions on purpose (we know because he actually told us this). Our group is planning to do something about him, but knowing Chuck, he'll just wallow in self-pity and stop coming to our FLGS, further hindering our gaming group. Our group is already planning something, but I was wondering if anyone had helpful suggestions or thoughts about this problem with Chuck.

Thanks in advance.

Cheers!

 

[RingXero]

sneak prozac into his mountain dew.



RX

 

[Varianor Abroad]

Are you guys friends outside of gaming? It sounds like Chuck has some RL going on.

 

[RingXero]

while my previous post may have been all humor, it may actually be a good thing to look into.

Chuck may has the post above pointed out, be having an episode of depression, if you know the family, you may want to talk to them about what they think as well.



RX

 

[Chimera]

You already know the answer to this one, you're just unwilling to do it.

 

[skinnydwarf]

In most cases, I would agree, don't kick him out. But he sounds like a real jerk. Arriving late on purpose, and he says this? That's just incredibly rude and arrogant, and should not be tolerated. Unless he is a real boon in-game (and it doesn't sound like it) I'd give him the boot.

 

[Bloodstone Mage]

Are you guys friends outside of gaming? It sounds like Chuck has some RL going on.

Yeah, we're all friends outside of gaming (we've been friends since 1997), but we hardly do anything besides gaming. I see no reason that Chuck has any real life problems. I mean, he doesn't have a girlfriend, his parents haven't changed, and he doesn't have any friends outside of the gaming group.
Actually, I just thought of something. Back at the start of June, there were so many people in our gaming group that wanted to DM a campaign that we decided to vote on whose game to play in (then we play in that game until the DM decides to declare a hiatus, and then we play in another person's game). My game won, with Chuck's game coming in second. When we found out, Chuck isolated himself and started thinking hard. Another gamer (who doesn't frequent much in our group, though) took it so hard that he left the FLGS not a second after the winner was announced. But that other gamer is always over-emotional.
After that night, Chuck didn't seem very different. He didn't start acting like a complete jerk until he began running his game after my game took its hiatus.
Maybe this event does have something to do with his problems. I don't know. Our gaming group can't really talk to him about it, because he's calling us the jerks when we ask.

Anyways, that's what I can think of now.

Cheers!

 

[NoOneofConsequence]

Chuck may have issues with stuff that you'll never know about - it's not all girlfriends, parents and not having friends out of gaming. Life's a pretty broad set of experiences and it's surprising just how much stuff people put up with in "silence".

As for how Chuck's behaving - call him on it. When he says "Wow! Like I care!", ask him "So what do you care about Chuck?"

Tell him how the group feels about his actions. He might actually get where you're coming from and respond.

Of course, if he makes it clear that he's happy being difficult then it's tough but you gotta ice him. Being someone's friend is not about being someone's whipping boy(s).

My 2c

 

[William Ronald]

Chuck may be having a hard time right now. Or there may be some communication problems between him and other people in the group. He may even be angry with someone.

So, talk to Chuck. Friends are more valuable as you grow older. Perhaps Chuck really needs a friend right now. You may have to confront some unpleasant issues, but friendship is not just about the good times. The friends who have seen me through the hardest times are the ones I value the most.

Or he may just be weary, and need a break from gaming. Regardless, talking to him is the best option.

 

[Maraxle]

I see no reason that Chuck has any real life problems. I mean, he doesn't have a girlfriend, his parents haven't changed, and he doesn't have any friends outside of the gaming group.

Well, if I didn't have a girlfriend or any friends outside of gaming, I'd probably be pretty depressed. Maybe you guys should take him out for a beer*, and ban the "shop talk" for the evening.

*substitute with soda or some buffalo wings if you're under age.