Grow Up And Live With It [General]
Your personality has developed into something more akin to that of an adult.
Benefit: You can now make decisions and have opinions that are based upon logical thought processes instead of irrational behavior and temper tantrums when something goes wrong or when you see something you don't like.
Normal: Without this feat, a character is immature, pissy, winey, and complains all the time about how life just isn't fair because they took the wrong feat at the wrong level. The character also tends to bitch about how they are entitled to an additional +1 BAB increase to get that extra attack as well.
Special: Without this feat, your DM may hurt you and many people on the message boards won't like you.
It’s Not Over Yet [General]
You have more options than you think, so cheer up.
Benefit: By selecting this feat, you no longer must shoot yourself in the head, as this feat gives you access to other feats that may improve upon your personality and wits.
Normal: Without this feat, a character is such an idiot that he must simply kick his own bucket and put himself out of the rest of the world’s misery. Characters like this can often be easily identified by their stupid as hell DM rulings, or their constant crying because they suck so bad.
Special: This feat can only be taken upon character creation. If you do not take this feat at that time…well…it was nice knowin’ ya’.
Lesser Idiocy [General]
People are more tolerant of you on message boards.
Prerequisites: Int 3+, It’s Not Over Yet.
Benefit: When you participate in an active thread, you get one free post before the flaming begins.
Normal: Every character is an idiot and rubs everyone the wrong way. When a character without this feat posts on a message board, he might as well be walking down the street coated in gasoline.
Special: This feat does not offer you any protection when you post a second time in an active thread.
Piss & Moan [General]
Self explanatory.
Benefit: Absolutely none. There is nothing that can change your abhorrent personality.
Normal: You’re just as bitchy as you were before, if not worse. Get a life.
Special: There is absolutely nothing special about this feat, or you for that matter.
Thick-Headed [General]
You are never wrong on a message board, unless you want to be.
Benefit: When you take this feat, all of your arguments are immune to the attacks of others and your ego is in no danger of being bruised by such attacks. No matter how many people say your argument is full of holes, your argument is still undefeatable.
Normal: Generally, you have to actually formulate a solid argument that is capable of turning people to your way of thinking. Characters that do not have this feat generally suck at convincing anyone to see their point of view.
Special: Technically, this feat doesn’t actually make your arguments undefeatable. In fact, this feat only makes you think your arguments are undefeatable. Hey, a feat can only do so much.