Pun-Pun vs. FR iconics.

[WarlockLord]

Ok, I wasn't sure if this should go into the Story Hour Forum or not. This is a fun activity where you get to pick an annoying Forgotten Realms character and have Pun-Pun battle them...to the death. I'll start with Elminister.

One day Elminister was walking along. He had just ruined yet another FR campiagn, stealing all the player's kills and generally being an annoying DMPC. He thought he would do this again tomorrow. Then he stood around feeling pity for all of the other annoying creatures in existence, because they were inferior to him. They did not have Script Immunity, god powers, or sacred-cowdom. They were inferior.

Then he saw a kobold. A lone kobold, just standing there. "Who are you?" asked Elminister.
"I am the uber-god Pun-Pun, son of Khan the Destroyer," came the reply. "I have come on behalf of all the players you have screwed, the campaigns you have ruined, and the fact that you have turned FR into your playground."
Elminister heard this and started to cast an epic spell, but was immediately killed by the kobold's use of a salient divine ability.
The kobold was immediately mobbed by hordes of cheering fans who carried him off the battlefield.

Who's next?

 

[Asmor]

Ooh, do Gary Gygax!

 

[migo]

Do Ao...

It would go something like "Sorry, you're just plain broken - I'm de-deifying you."

 

[WD40]

Drizzt?

 

[WarlockLord]

Well, I was hoping someone else would write the next encounter, but...

The next day, our heroic kobold awakened. Entering the bar, which was staffed by the usual epic level wizard, the omnipotent kobold conversed with the wizard for a while, making him look like a complete idiot.

The mighty kobold continued on his journey, until he met a drow who was surrounded by a bunch of admiring, glasses-wearing teenagers. "You are probably the most awesome character in the universe, because you have a panther and hit people real well with pointed sticks. That's awesome, dude."

The frothing fanboys pointed at the kobold. "Hey, dude. Take down that kobold."
"But isn't that anti-kobold stereotyping?" asked the drow.
"But kobolds are evil. And they say you should, like, fight evildoers."

Drizz't knew he would lose much of his power if he embarrassed his fanboys, so he drew his scimitars and rushed Pun-pun. An epic battle occured, mainly because Pun-pun was capable of literally anything, where Drizz't was an annoying fanboy magnet.

Drizz't hit the ground hard and died. However, Pun-pun had ignored one thing- the army of the clones created by the fanboys. Pun-pun had ignored them because they were weak and unoptimized, and merely waved his hand, extinguishing all of them and making the world a better place.

Pun-pun was again carried away by the hordes of Drizz't haters.

Someone else want to write another chapter? I don't know much about Gygax (besides the fact that he created D&D) or Ao (besides the fact he's the uber-god).

 

[(Psi)SeveredHead]

I don't think even Pun-Pun can defeat Elminster, unless he's the omniscient version (there's one floating around). Speaking of which, it's wikipedia article seems to no longer exist

 

[WarlockLord]

I think Pun-Pun's skill checks are all unlimited.

He can, as he knows all.

 

[Moggthegob]

Pun-PUn is a druid
Elminster is a wizard
Druid>Wizard
Pun pun wins

 

[BlackMoria]

The DM, the ultimate god, rule 0's that nothing can be used from the Serpent Kingdom book.

Pun Pun become a normal mortal kobold.

The local party of 1st level adventurers from the nearest village kick his ass in one round for the win....

 

[Slife]

The DM, the ultimate god, rule 0's that nothing can be used from the Serpent Kingdom book.

Pun Pun become a normal mortal kobold.

The local party of 1st level adventurers from the nearest village kick his ass in one round for the win....

Pun-pun ascends at level 5 as an artificer instead.

Pun-pun wins.

Do Ao...

It would go something like "Sorry, you're just plain broken - I'm de-deifying you."

The exact quote:
"Sorry Ao, you're only Divine rank 21, and just plain annoying - I'm de-overdeifying you.""