barsoomcore
Unattainable Ideal
Okay, here's a sample of the "Official" Barsoom campaign log. I think it's pretty incomprehensible and maybe not very much fun to read if you weren't there, but what do you think? I mean, obviously, there's all kinds of references that you won't get, but besides that, does this work for you? Is it fun to read? Would you read a story told in this kind of fashion or is it missing too many details? Just curious.
EPISODE 104: LAND LOTS OF LAND
Our heroes just aren't the type to be able to enjoy a quiet drink in the company of old friends (such old friends as they possess that haven't died a terrible agonizing death, at least) without horrible ravening undead monsters interrupting them.
No, Isaac hasn't returned early.
No, Kunrong hasn't fallen off the wagon.
THESE horrible ravening undead monsters lack the Saijadani's characteristic, um, character, not to mention the Tianese fella's, er, fell, and instead spoil the entire party by hollering and spraying burny blood around and then getting their undead behinds royally whupped by our heroes. Which interrupts the investigation.
Right, the investigation. The investigation into the Yshakans. Cause, see, the big plan down Our Hero Way is to cross Yshaka, or at least that portion of Yshaka which lies between Highpass and the ancient city of Tehuatcan, which is apparently the entrance to the Ghostwalk.
And going to the Ghostwalk is important because Elena's daughter said so.
Yes, yes, Elena's daughter's apparently been dead for quite some time. If that sort of thing is bothering you, you haven't been paying much attention, have you?
Okay, so, the investigation. Turns out that trying to cross any portion of Yshaka without an Yshakan or two is a Bad Idea®, so our heroes, classic straight men that they are, come back with "Okay, round us up some Yshakans." And the punch line? "There aren't any."
Highpass appears to have mislaid its supply of Yshakans, cause there aren't any hanging around. Most of them left only a few days ago, and those what stayed behind have, um, had their skin unpleasantly removed.
Try not to dwell on how skin might be pleasantly removed.
In any event, it appears that Something Bad recently happened, Yshakans started getting whacked by bad juju, and those left alive high-tailed it for the northern frontier. So there's no Yshakans in town to lead intrepid adventures into the depths of their mysterious nation.
Our heroes draw a connection (Voitto carries crayons) between flayed Yshakans and skinless undead blood-spraying horrors and backtrack the horrors (not too difficult when they don't have skins) (Ewww) to a carriage merchant, who tells them one of his drivers went a little mental recently.
Like six days ago recently.
Like the day that great big whatever-the-heck-it-was crashed into the Inner Sea, destroying Saijadani cities and wiping out the Sentinels. Right. That day.
Investigation continues as our heroes poke around in said crazy driver's house, discovering a secret basement with a secret passage and then there's bugs and undead guys (which passage did he go down again?) and a bit so amusing we just have to go into detail. Point form, for ease of reference:
Pema comes into her own then, as she knocks a bile-spraying guy (possibly grosser than the no-skin guys) into a sewer and then it's down into the Workshop of Evil where funny runes cover everything in sight. Like they covered those undead guys back there.
There's a closet full of no-skin bodies and a great big crystal that somebody's apparently been trying (unsuccessfully) to destroy. Why? Well, that's a good question. Elena asks her talking Crystal to try talking to this crystal and it says, "Interesting," and that's about all for the next little while. When it comes back it says, "Don't touch that."
So of course Pema reaches out and gives it an old Yu Lanese pat.
And gets visions of wobbly seafood platters et al in her head.
That's gotta be good.
EPISODE 104: LAND LOTS OF LAND
Our heroes just aren't the type to be able to enjoy a quiet drink in the company of old friends (such old friends as they possess that haven't died a terrible agonizing death, at least) without horrible ravening undead monsters interrupting them.
No, Isaac hasn't returned early.
No, Kunrong hasn't fallen off the wagon.
THESE horrible ravening undead monsters lack the Saijadani's characteristic, um, character, not to mention the Tianese fella's, er, fell, and instead spoil the entire party by hollering and spraying burny blood around and then getting their undead behinds royally whupped by our heroes. Which interrupts the investigation.
Right, the investigation. The investigation into the Yshakans. Cause, see, the big plan down Our Hero Way is to cross Yshaka, or at least that portion of Yshaka which lies between Highpass and the ancient city of Tehuatcan, which is apparently the entrance to the Ghostwalk.
And going to the Ghostwalk is important because Elena's daughter said so.
Yes, yes, Elena's daughter's apparently been dead for quite some time. If that sort of thing is bothering you, you haven't been paying much attention, have you?
Okay, so, the investigation. Turns out that trying to cross any portion of Yshaka without an Yshakan or two is a Bad Idea®, so our heroes, classic straight men that they are, come back with "Okay, round us up some Yshakans." And the punch line? "There aren't any."
Highpass appears to have mislaid its supply of Yshakans, cause there aren't any hanging around. Most of them left only a few days ago, and those what stayed behind have, um, had their skin unpleasantly removed.
Try not to dwell on how skin might be pleasantly removed.
In any event, it appears that Something Bad recently happened, Yshakans started getting whacked by bad juju, and those left alive high-tailed it for the northern frontier. So there's no Yshakans in town to lead intrepid adventures into the depths of their mysterious nation.
Our heroes draw a connection (Voitto carries crayons) between flayed Yshakans and skinless undead blood-spraying horrors and backtrack the horrors (not too difficult when they don't have skins) (Ewww) to a carriage merchant, who tells them one of his drivers went a little mental recently.
Like six days ago recently.
Like the day that great big whatever-the-heck-it-was crashed into the Inner Sea, destroying Saijadani cities and wiping out the Sentinels. Right. That day.
Investigation continues as our heroes poke around in said crazy driver's house, discovering a secret basement with a secret passage and then there's bugs and undead guys (which passage did he go down again?) and a bit so amusing we just have to go into detail. Point form, for ease of reference:
- Undead Guy retreats down hall.
- Elena follows, sees UG standing on opposite side of room, holding torch.
- Kunrong uses impressive speed to get to room and passes Elena, attempting to close with UG.
- UG revealed to be standing on other side of VDICPWSATB.
- VDICPWSATB turns out to stand for Very Deep Illusion-Covered Pit With Spikes At The Bottom.
- Kunrong impaled on spikes, annoyed.
- Elena batters UG with her Psychic Powers of Pummelling (PPP).
- Kunrong notices small keg near him. Full of black powder.
- Kunrong looks up at torch-bearing UG, teetering on edge of VDPICPWSATB and acquires sense of impending doom.
- Torch dropped by UG, into VDICPWSATB and GSE (Good-Sized Explosion) occurs.
- Kunrong reconsiders career choices.
- UG chuckles in his final moments as Elena et al demolish him.
Pema comes into her own then, as she knocks a bile-spraying guy (possibly grosser than the no-skin guys) into a sewer and then it's down into the Workshop of Evil where funny runes cover everything in sight. Like they covered those undead guys back there.
There's a closet full of no-skin bodies and a great big crystal that somebody's apparently been trying (unsuccessfully) to destroy. Why? Well, that's a good question. Elena asks her talking Crystal to try talking to this crystal and it says, "Interesting," and that's about all for the next little while. When it comes back it says, "Don't touch that."
So of course Pema reaches out and gives it an old Yu Lanese pat.
And gets visions of wobbly seafood platters et al in her head.
That's gotta be good.
