Quoteable moments

[Kareyev]

I know there have been several of these threads, but there was one at my groups last gaming session that just has to be shared.

The party has some strong LG tendencies with a LG monk and paladin leading the way. We came into possession of a relic of some power a while ago and everyone wants to do something with it. One extreme wing of a CG church has decided the relic has been corrupted and must be destroyed. We get wind of this high level fanatic who is announcing to everyone he meets that he is trying to find my character as he has the relic.

I've gone into hiding while the rest of the party goes to confront this nut to convince him it is the only way to Save the World (tm). Negotiations do not go well and tempers start to flare. The end of the conversation goes something like this.

CG NPC Fanatic: I am sorry to hear this. We will track down and destroy the relic and all who stand in our way. The next time we meet we will be enemies.

LG PC Monk: Great. Bring treasure.

Took a while before we could get back on track.

Edited for spelling

 

[jonesy]

Happened last evening.

We were walking south from Deraan towards Ylaruam City and had just reached the halfway point. We hear sounds of battle coming from beyond the dunes ahead of us. So we think 'what the heck' and continue towards it. We reach the top of this gigantic dune. Below us is a massive battle between the Ylaruam honor guards and what appears to be Darokin militia. On impulse I sit down. Our scout from Karameikos sits down as well and offers a water flask. The rest follow our example. The halfling sets up a little campfire and starts roasting beef. So there we all are sitting on the dune eating and watching the battle, when this Darokin outrider patrol spots us and rides up the dune. The leader asks us what we are doing here. The halfling replys: "Watching the show, what do you think? Hey you got any marshmellows?"

Kafka would have been proud.

 

[Yort]

So our party is meandering around a new town. It’s night so our resident rouge and barbarian want to see what trouble they can find (or make) in the waterfront district. My paladin tags along to save a few souls and keep the two from bringing the entire militia down on us (again).

We witness a traveler being attacked on the road (plot point ahead!) and rush up to help. The attackers eventually run and the man gasps out a message (plot point!) before dying in the paladin’s arms. Of course, the militia comes running in at that exact moment. The rogue and barbarian disappear into the darkness post haste, while the paladin stands tall to explain the dead man, his presence and his bloody blade. Much derision is heaped upon the paladin from the rogue and the barbarian.

Quick words, high charisma, and a great roll lead to words of praise from the militia, a two gold piece reward for maintaining public order, and the promise of a future job. After the surprise of a diplomatic approach actually working wears off, the rogue states “Well, the two gold pieces count as group treasure, right? Since we all fought? Right?” A rogue to the end, he was.

 

[Ice man]

Elven knight and (his opinion) scummy elf thief wizard along with rest of group, investigate wizard tower. come into a room with human guards, the knight and the cleric convince the guards that we are here to help. Guards agree to leave area to avoid cross fire etc. As they are leaving, noble elf Knight says, "Leave your weapons, armor and other loot behind on the floor!" guards acuse group of being common thieves, situation grows tense...scummy elf thief sneaks (under invis spell) behind guard leader and holds dagger to his throat. Then orders guards to drop weapons and step away from them, the guards do so. Scummy elven thief tells very noble elven knight, "Now that they are defenseless, you may rob them at your leisure Sir Valen" Noble elven Knight swears, blushes and releases guards as entire group points and laughs!

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Our party was investigating a Red Wizard problem in the harbour district. Cloaked figure calls us into an alley, and when we follow, he tells us that he has information. He then pulls down the cloak and reveals his shaven, tattooed head. Our Red Wizard alarms go off, and it must have been visible on our faces, for he said: "You could kill me, but then you'd never get the information I have, so you better pay up." to which my wise-a** psionicist promptly replies "My friend here's a priestess and she can talk to the dead." That shut him up

 

[ukgpublishing]

A number of years ago, OK a large number of years, we were playing the Temple of Elemental Evil, and one of our party members was captured by the clerics of the temple. This male halfling thief, was we presumed dead. However, the powers that be stripped him naked and dumped him in the wilderness some miles from the temple.

On his travels back to Homlet, he encountered a pair of lovers engaged in some intimate activity and interrupted them to ask if they might have some spare clothing to cover his modesty. They kindly gave him a small sock.

Adventuring memories... Priceless, for everything else there's master card

 

[Three_Haligonians]

My not-so-finest hour:

I was playing a wizard with a high intellengence, but low wisdom, so she was mostly someone who was hyper smart on paper but totally mental in regards to basic human interaction. In the campaign, we had taken months to gain the trust of an ultra secret society. A member of the society asked us to retrieve a necklace capable of great evil so that they could hide it away from everyone. We got the necklace, gave it to the member of the secret society, and he left hastily. Just after he left, the bad guys bust in and demand we give them the necklace.

Wizard: Shows what you know, we don't even HAVE your stupid necklace!

There was an awkward silence as all the members of the party turned toward mine, incredulous.

Dwarf: How can you be so smart and yet SO STUPID at the exact same time!

Talk about letting the cat out of the bag!

T from Three Haligonians

 

[MonkeyDragon]

Last session, not long after my character died via giant octopus, the party comes across a small, circular room with two doors: one coming from the hall where they entered, and another directly across. The room was I think 15-20ft diameter. Of course it's a pit trap, but no one fell in. There is a swarm of centipedes 30 feet down.

Chen (our party's self styled sniper multiclassed up the wazoo), decided that THAT was the way to go. Others pointed out that there was another hall. He didn't care, he wanted to go that way, and lept off the edge.

The check to get across the pit was easy. The check to effectively stick to the doorknob was higher than he could make, period. He bounced off the door and landed in the pit of centipedes.

We were all dying of laughter, especially because one PC is airwalking and another is flying within reaching distance of the door, and COULD have just opened it, had they been asked.

The quote...

Me: Can I laugh from beyond death?
DM: Sure.
Me: Ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha! You stupid bastard!

hilarity ensues.

DM: ...that might have been the truest thing anyone's said all night...