Sometimes I have no idea if I'm DMing d20 or d02.
* * *
"Screw it, ninjas attack."
* * *
"Roll a d10. On a 1-2, you find a head. 3-5, you find scrolls of black magic. 6-9, you find a map. On a 10, you find all of the above."
"10!"
"Okay, you find a head, scrolls of black magic, and a map."
"Is it Jimmy Hoffa's head? We found Jimmy Hoffa's head!"
* * *
"Let's see. After the first drink, he was okay. After the second drink, he went a bit green. After the third drink, he polymorphed into a demon. After the fourth drink, he passed out."
* * *
"Hello, I'm Adam."
"Ah, would you be Artimoff J. Adam, the mage we've heard so much about? The mage who's published articles in numerous research journals? The one mage from Moonglow who appears to have potential to be truly exceptional?
"Ah, no, I'm just Adam."
"Oh."
* * *
"So your name is... Adam?"
"Yep."
"And what do they call you?"
"Adam."
"Ah, so you would be Adam, whom they call Adam."
* * *
"Would you stop trying to preempt the encounter before I've had a reasonable chance to railroad you?"
* * *
"I have had two beers, while you have had none. Therefore your account of how much XP I've given you must be more trustworthy than mine."
* * *
"Screw it, ninjas attack."
* * *
"Roll a d10. On a 1-2, you find a head. 3-5, you find scrolls of black magic. 6-9, you find a map. On a 10, you find all of the above."
"10!"
"Okay, you find a head, scrolls of black magic, and a map."
"Is it Jimmy Hoffa's head? We found Jimmy Hoffa's head!"
* * *
"Let's see. After the first drink, he was okay. After the second drink, he went a bit green. After the third drink, he polymorphed into a demon. After the fourth drink, he passed out."
* * *
"Hello, I'm Adam."
"Ah, would you be Artimoff J. Adam, the mage we've heard so much about? The mage who's published articles in numerous research journals? The one mage from Moonglow who appears to have potential to be truly exceptional?
"Ah, no, I'm just Adam."
"Oh."
* * *
"So your name is... Adam?"
"Yep."
"And what do they call you?"
"Adam."
"Ah, so you would be Adam, whom they call Adam."
* * *
"Would you stop trying to preempt the encounter before I've had a reasonable chance to railroad you?"
* * *
"I have had two beers, while you have had none. Therefore your account of how much XP I've given you must be more trustworthy than mine."
