Upgrade your account to a Community Supporter account and remove most of the site ads.
Enchanted Trinkets Complete--a hardcover book containing over 500 magic items for your D&D games!

Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Bullgrit" data-source="post: 6172955" data-attributes="member: 31216">I’m wondering . . .Bullies and bullying. It used to be the thinking that a person was picked on and bullied because they, the victim, were at fault. The bully picks on you because you are skinny, fat, a nerd, wear glasses, stutter, or were just generally in some way not “normal.” Basically, it was the victim’s fault for being picked on. Advertisements and entertainment showed someone being picked on because of some “weakness” on their part, but when they overcame that weakness, they could show up the bully. The cliché of the skinny boy getting sand kicked in his face, until he worked out and got strong. Or the nerdy girl who’s snubbed by everyone until she sheds the glasses and puts on makeup.In recent years, society has turned this around from telling the victim to “man up” and become “better,” to pointing to the bully and calling him out as a jerk. We’re now telling the bully to straighten up and act right to other people. There are “stop bullying” initiatives in schools all over the US. We now tell folks with “weaknesses” that the torment is not because of them, it’s because that person mistreating them is a bully jerk. I think this is a better way.But it seems that this idea stops short of certain particular types of bullying. For instance, (but not limited to), racism, sexism, homophobia. It seems that society still says, “this person is treating you badly because of you.” That is, you’re getting poor treatment because you’re black. Or your thoughts are dismissed because you’re a woman. Or you were called names because you’re gay.As a straight, white, man, when I’m poorly treated by someone, (and believe it or not, it does happen sometimes), I just label the offender as an <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />. He’s bullying me because *he* is a jerk. I don’t think, “he’s bullying me because *I’m* something.” But then I’m not living in a society that constantly tells me that bad things happen to me because I’m something.Of course, no one expects the victim of racism/sexism/homophobia to change in order to end the problem. No one can stop being black, female, or gay. And we still call out the abuser as a racist, sexist, or homophobe. But really, aren’t those people really just bullies and jerks because of who they, themselves, are? Could racism/sexism/homophobia be better handled by labeling it bullying? Instead of saying, “He mistreated you because you’re Latino,” we could say, “He mistreated you because he’s a friggin’ asshat.”Does anyone say anymore, “He mistreated you because you’re fat.” Yes, your weight may have been the target of the bullying, but losing weight won’t make the other person any less of a jerk. It’s his personality flaw that is the cause of the problem, not your physical “flaw.”I’m just thinking around on this – I’m not making any statements that I think are right or wrong. This is just a mental exercise, a philosophical consideration, a subject for discussion here. What do you think?Are people treated poorly because they are of a different race, the opposite sex, or of a different sexual orientation? Or are people treated poorly because they are confronted by bullies, jerks, and <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />s? Could changing/eliminating racism, sexism, and homophobia be accomplished better by putting them under the general umbrella of “bullying”?Bullgrit</blockquote>

Verification