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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Harmon" data-source="post: 2350619" data-attributes="member: 24357"><Rant> Where has courtesy gone?Sense I was in my teens I have noticed the decline in thank yous, apologizes, excuse me, bless yous, pleases, and such.  Why has rudeness become so dominate?  Examples-I opened the door for a woman (she is coming into the mall I am going out) pushing a baby carriage the other day- behind me was a small group of teen-age males, they went through the open door, making the woman and her new born wait for them.  “That was rude,” I stated.  “Yes, very,” the woman replied.  Which got the attention of the punks that had moved through, though it was not said to them- only of them.  It was a nasty look I got, but no comments were exchanged beyond that.  The woman with the carriage thanked me, and I said, “you are welcome.”Would I have held the door for the guys?  If they had stopped and allowed her to go first- ya, I would have.A woman sneezes in class today.  “Bless you,” I said.  The guy that was helping her with her class work told me to “<blank> off.”  It was a courtesy I was extending, I know God hates me and would never bless anyone for me, but how would the boyfriend know?  I shook my head and went back to work.  Rudeness rules.  Or was it jealous, could I steal his girl with a blessing that is worthless then the dust on the bottom of my shoes?Apologizes seem meaningless as well.  More then a half dozen later and I find that I have lost a friend, though I feel that I did about half of the damage to the relationship I gave all the apologizes.  Was one ever extended?  Nope.  It was a request that was simple, some harsh words, and finally ending comments I made in a flare of my temper- for which I apologized.  Was it accepted?  Nope.  Would I accept his?  In a heartbeat, would we be friends still if he had said- “I am sorry,” yep.Another thing is the- “excuse me, sir,” or “excuse me, miss,” seems to go over in varied fashion, some times people do react in the positive and I always (always being 99% of the time) say thank you or thanks.   Girls crowding the sidewalk today, construction workers on the road, I have to go down the sidewalk (through the five young ladies) or across the street, down, then back across.  “Excuse me,” I say in the kindest tone I can muster to the one looking at me.  “Your excused,” she says and they all laugh.  I give a weak smile.  “I would like to go past, please,” I was biting my tongue, ‘don’t say it,’ I ordered myself.  She blinked, stunned, obviously not understanding the courtesy.  Her and her friends just looked at me and moved aside.  “Thank you,” I said to them as a whole.  I was twenty feet beyond when one of them called- “your welcome,” I glanced back and she waved.  I returned the gesture and she smiled.  They went from mocking and rude to bewildered and stunned at something they seemed not to have ever seen.    At the soda machine in Taco Smell the other day- a young man ahead of me fills his soda.  He stands his position at the machine after his cup is full, grabs a lid two feet away (there is a counter in front of the lids), places it on top of his soda- “excuse me,” I gesture to the machine with my empty cup, as he looks at me.  It’s a glare I receive and a “you can wait,” type comment with an unkind curse in the comment.  He takes a straw, preps it and places it in his soda then turns to look at me.Now I am six foot plus, two hundred thirty pounds run a ten-minute mile, can press better then my weight, can swing a 24 oz hammer all day (set and drive 16 penny Commons).  I have a nasty temper that usually results in a lot more bark then bite (I haven’t hit anyone in a lot of years).  When he turned to give me his best intimidating glare I was staring into his eyes- “learn some <nasty word> manners or I will teach them to you,” I told him at a whisper that paled his face a little.  He fled without his food (I had to smile when the woman behind the counter called a number three times with a bag of food in hand- no one claimed it).  I guess I was scarier then he thought.A pharmacy recently went in near our house- its number is one digit off of ours, so we get a lot of wrong numbers.  I know the number they want and inform them in as kind of tone as I can what they number was.  About 9 out of 10 calls the caller is kind and thanks me, once in a while I get a person that is really sick or in pain and they can’t help it but have a bad attitude.  I try to give them the benefit of doubt, but still it was their misdial that got me instead of the store they wanted- shouldn’t they apologize?  “Sorry, for calling you at mid night,” but those people just do not understand courtesy I guess.Please- is a word that I have heard so seldom as of late that I think it will be removed from the dictionary soon.  “Hand me that pen,” has replaced “would you please hand me that pen?”  These are just examples of the things I have seen.  It seems to be getting worse and its really starting to get to me.  Why is it that people can’t treat other people how they want to be treated?  Another thing is more personal in nature- why is it that I feel that I am being perceived in a negative fashion? My intent is one manner and perceived in the opposite.  Are my courtesies perceived in a negative fashion?  Are my thank yous taken as condescending?  My apologizes seen as half assed?  The word, please, when it leaves my lips do people take it in an unkind fashion?  Is that why I feel so many people are becoming rude and uncaring?  Is it that they perceive me as being rude and uncaring so they return the favor?Should I just give up and not be kind at all?  Should I have slammed the punk’s head into the soda machine, like I wanted to?  Should I have just stepped back and said nothing (letting him think rudeness got him what he wanted)?  Nah.  I think it would be an insult to who I am, to the person that I want to be when I grow up.I am getting tire.  I know that people want to be treated with respect and kindness, but when you come at me with disrespect and unkind words and gestures I get cranky and my temper flares.  Am I alone?  (Question- this was written in a tone of consideration, question and asking for assistance.  Some one out there might well take it differently- who perceived it as a threat or in a condescending fashion?  And why?)Thank you for “listening” to my rant, I really needed to get this off my chest.</blockquote>

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