D&D General [+] Ravenloft, horror, & safety tools...

In terms of tools, I've also come across the "Stoplight System" which is the X-card with nuance

You have cards or something with green, yellow, and red circles on them. If things are going good and you want them to continue or get more intense, tap green. If you need to stop, tap red. If you want things to maintain or slow down but not stop, tap yellow
This is a useful system because it doesn't just allow the players to halt the action, but allows them to push for more intensity by tapping green.

This could easily be tweaked into using had signals: thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs sideways. Or a so-so hand jiggle for uncertainty and to prompt the DM to inquire more or continue but check in again often.
 

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Tales and Chronicles

Jewel of the North, formerly know as vincegetorix
Why can't failure in combat have a different penalty than death? The PCs and their opponents could easily be defeated and knocked unconscious rather than killed.

Exactly.

In my game, instead of ''dead'', I mostly use the ''Defeated'' condition. So every damage is ''non-lethal'' unless specified by the players. PC who fails 3 Defeat Saving Throws are defeated and must decide if they are dead or just too damaged to continue adventuring.

Some of them prefer to have their character die, others retire them; its all about the story they want to explore after the ''departure'' of their character.
 

overgeeked

B/X Known World
I appreciate that the golden rule isn’t enough. It is a starting point though. It sets a benchmark that many people don’t even meet trying to break a double standard that all too often arises in life. It has limits though. Let me add to it...“Don’t judge a person until you’ve worked a mile in their shoes.” I agree just because you can tolerate off jokes at work, doesn’t mean I should have to as well. I also understand that fairness and equality are not the same thing. Everybody getting the same amount of time to sit an exam is equal. However if I’m dyslexic it probably isn’t fair.

The platinum rule is fine for some things. But isn’t universal either. It works for managing personal relations at work, or appropriate behavior when dating. It totally breaks down though when what a person wants isn’t reasonable. When it requires greater resources than are available, or requires someone else missing out in an unreasonable way.

When deciding how to manage competing interests around a table... Likes and dislikes. Then I try to be fair. I may like puzzles but John doesn’t so we compromise and have puzzles but only so often and John gets what he likes to balance it out. Wants require consideration and should be accomadated when possible - that’s good DMing - but it isn’t the same as needing something. Not liking having to sit at our combat because of paralyzation would normally be a want. It doesn’t cause them harm. It just isn’t what they’d prefer to be doing.

If it is a need then it is fundamentally different. A victim of trauma needs to have their well-being protected. That has to trump all other wants. Well-being first, fun second. Or if that doesn’t work, no gaming is better.
Sigh. It is not up to the DM or other players if someone else's lines, veils, or use of the X-card is a need or a want. It's up to the player who uses the safety tools to determine for themselves. Trying to second-guess or question the motives of the players undermines the entire point of the safety tools.
 

Eltab

Lord of the Hidden Layer
So we have examples to work with, not only abstractions:

Could a few people who have played / DM'ed Curse of Stradh explain how they would apply a safety toolkit to the subject matter of that adventure, and introduce it to the players? As if you were holding a Session Zero.
 

Remathilis

Legend
So we have examples to work with, not only abstractions:

Could a few people who have played / DM'ed Curse of Stradh explain how they would apply a safety toolkit to the subject matter of that adventure, and introduce it to the players? As if you were holding a Session Zero.
I ran CoS and my group has no inherent traumas that made them have issues with the material. But a few problem areas I could see.

* Child Abuse. There are few instances of children in peril or abused in the model: Rose and Thorne in Death House, the hags of Old Bonegrinder, the priest who locked his vampire son in the basement, and the Vistani girl Arabella being kidnapped and tossed into a lake.

* Mental Illness. The broken ones of the Abbey. The Mad Mage. Mad Mary. Strahd's broken one servant. While it's mostly played as cartoony-levels of crazy, it could disturb people who are sensitive to depictions of behavioral health

* Misogyny. Strahd's actions against Ireena and the dusk elves, plus the Abbott's "bride" might be troublesome for people who have had gender-related trauma.

This is not too say these parts are bad or wrong, merely that it is possible that these parts could have negative reactions.
 

overgeeked

B/X Known World
So we have examples to work with, not only abstractions:

Could a few people who have played / DM'ed Curse of Stradh explain how they would apply a safety toolkit to the subject matter of that adventure, and introduce it to the players? As if you were holding a Session Zero.
I would review the module, find any bits that stand out, as done below.
I ran CoS and my group has no inherent traumas that made them have issues with the material. But a few problem areas I could see.

* Child Abuse. There are few instances of children in peril or abused in the model: Rose and Thorne in Death House, the hags of Old Bonegrinder, the priest who locked his vampire son in the basement, and the Vistani girl Arabella being kidnapped and tossed into a lake.

* Mental Illness. The broken ones of the Abbey. The Mad Mage. Mad Mary. Strahd's broken one servant. While it's mostly played as cartoony-levels of crazy, it could disturb people who are sensitive to depictions of behavioral health

* Misogyny. Strahd's actions against Ireena and the dusk elves, plus the Abbott's "bride" might be troublesome for people who have had gender-related trauma.

This is not too say these parts are bad or wrong, merely that it is possible that these parts could have negative reactions.
Strip out the spoilers, but leave the categories (child abuse, mental illness, misogyny) and see where we stood on those as a group. Go over the safety tools. General rating. Lines and veils. X-card. Some of the above can be veiled without changing much. Others, if lined, will require reworking sections of the module or cutting them entirely.

This is also why I think more resolution on some questions is necessary. Like child abuse. It’s a line for me generally. Reading the Death House was almost too much for me. You could easily veil or line the abuse there and not change the adventure. It’s background info, basically. As for the priest and son, I didn’t read it as child abuse, but others easily could. So it would depend on how it’s presented and how the players read the situation.

To me, it’s a clear example that safety tools are the beginning of the conversation, not the end.
 

TheSword

Legend
Sigh. It is not up to the DM or other players if someone else's lines, veils, or use of the X-card is a need or a want. It's up to the player who uses the safety tools to determine for themselves. Trying to second-guess or question the motives of the players undermines the entire point of the safety tools.
I wouldn’t mind-read. I would assume it was a need. I’d then expect them to be consistent with it.

I might ask a question if it was unusual or wasn’t clear. Not wanting far eastern settings was one I came across for instance. It wouldn’t be an interrogation though. Asking sensitive questions to understand is a perfectly reasonable course of action in my opinion.
 

overgeeked

B/X Known World
I wouldn’t mind-read. I would assume it was a need. I’d then expect them to be consistent with it.

I might ask a question if it was unusual or wasn’t clear. Not wanting far eastern settings was one I came across for instance. It wouldn’t be an interrogation though. Asking sensitive questions to understand is a perfectly reasonable course of action in my opinion.
Sigh. As explained this is you trying to make illogical and emotion-based decisions conform to your skewed sense of logic and reason. Humans simply don’t work like that.
 


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