Morrus said:2) The "compromises" suggested are not as easy as you appear to believe. They would require changes to the way vBulletin works. I've been trying to find resources on the subject, but no luck yet. Or do you have some information that I don't, in which case perhaps it would be helpful to share it?
Well, i'm pretty certain that TrekRPGNet and RPGNet and The Forge all use vBulletin, and they only send the notice of a new reply, not the content of the new reply. So that, at least, should be doable.