Recruiting: Rowaini Musketeers--One for All and All for One!
- Thread starter Rystil Arden
- Start date
And thus the tradition of Rowaini Battlecake was born.
In time, they branched out a bit, in search of more effective combat pastries. The voulge-tort was particularly popular in formation tactics against mounted knights armed with sharpened cinna-sticks. Of course, the development of gunpowdered sugar heralded the end of the knight's dominance of open-field pastry conflicts...
...boy, you can really stretch that premise way past the breaking point if you try.
In time, they branched out a bit, in search of more effective combat pastries. The voulge-tort was particularly popular in formation tactics against mounted knights armed with sharpened cinna-sticks. Of course, the development of gunpowdered sugar heralded the end of the knight's dominance of open-field pastry conflicts...
...boy, you can really stretch that premise way past the breaking point if you try.
Rystil Arden
First Post
During the Last Croissant War, a new race of Battleforged pastry constructs was born--I refer, of course, to the infamous Cake Golem:Shayuri said:And thus the tradition of Rowaini Battlecake was born.
In time, they branched out a bit, in search of more effective combat pastries. The voulge-tort was particularly popular in formation tactics against mounted knights armed with sharpened cinna-sticks. Of course, the development of gunpowdered sugar heralded the end of the knight's dominance of open-field pastry conflicts...
...boy, you can really stretch that premise way past the breaking point if you try.
[SBLOCK=Cake Golem]Cake Golem
Medium Construct (Fruitcake)
Hit Dice: 12d10+20 (86)
Initiative: 0
Speed: 30 (6 squares)
Armor Class: 18 (+6 natural, +2 deflection), touch 12, flatfooted 18
Base Attack/Grapple: +9/+13
Attack: slam +13 melee (1d6+4)
Full attack: 2 slams +13 melee (1d6+4)
Space/Reach: 5 ft/5 ft
Special Attacks: -
Special Qualities: Construct traits, Fruitcake traits (Dehydration vulnerability, Fruitcake healing 6, Fruitcake stodge (DC 16), Viscosity (DC 16)), Kweznuz Shellac (DR 10/adamantine, DR 5/-, SR 18, Energy Resistance 5 (universal)), Oversized slam
Saves: Fort +4, Ref +4, Will +4
Abilities: Str 18, Dex 10, Con -, Int -, Wis 10, Cha 11
Skills: -
Feats: -
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Guard Force (1-8)
Challenge Rating: 9
Treasure: Standard items (slashing/piercing weapons only)
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 12-14 HD (Medium); 15-30 HD (Large)
Level Adjustment: N/A
Cake Golems are man-sized, blocky humanoids formed of gooey fruitcake and sheathed in a gleaming white shellac-like icing. The first was created by the halfling wizard Bippo "Messy" Kweznuz, who also accidentally developed the Kweznuz Pudding - but that's another story. The first cake golem was created in response to one of his neighbors claiming to have baked "the perfect fruitcake." Not to be outdone, Bippo set to work to create, in his words, "an even more perfect fruitcake."
The result of his labours was a cake as obedient as it was tasty, and imbued with many of the abilities of the Kweznuz Pudding without conferring their ravenous hunger for animal fat. The icing, he claimed, would ensure that none but the most dedicated gourmand should prosper from his genius, and indeed several of his neighbors admitted defeat against the formidable cake's outer shell. The filling was a moist and rich blend of sweet fruit, edible nuts and thick cake so rich, thick and filling that when Bippo finally relented and carved out helpings of his creation it's said that none could eat a second portion.
Combat
A Cake Golem in combat attacks in relatively simplistic ways, generally slamming opponents and trusting to its thick shell to protect it. Its intelligence is entirely program-based and enables it rudimentary options in combat, usually its last attacker (if that attacker is within close range) or its most immediate threat in melee. Its default behavior unless specifically countermanded is to act only in self-defense and to attempt flight or healing if reduced to half its normal hit point total. It can, however, be given simple instructions (25 words or less) including combat tactics.
Cake golems have no language but unfailingly understand their creator in any language he or she speaks.
Kweznuz Shellac (Ex): The icing on a Cake Golem is of double thickness, layered with marzipan and carries formidable enchantments and traces of rare materials. It provides the cake golem with DR 10/adamantine and DR 5/-. In addition, the shellac resists the first 5 points of all forms of elemental damage, and provides spell resistance equal to 12 plus half the cake golem's hit dice. The Cake Golem's natural attacks are considered adamantine and magic for purposes of penetrating damage reduction. All Damage Reduction and energy resistance afforded by the Kweznuz Shellac increases by 5 points for a large golem.
Fruitcake traits:
Dehydration vulnerability (Ex): A fruitcake is very sensitive to dehydration and sustains 50% extra damage from all such effects.
Fruitcake healing (Ex): A wounded fruitcake may heal itself by applying internal pressure to re-seal damaged portions. At will, it may take a full round action provoking attacks of opportunity to heal 1 hit point for each 2 hit dice it possesses. If it is able to absorb fresh, non-living plant matter this amount doubles.
Fruitcake stodge (Ex): A fruitcake is so incredibly thick and stodgy that despite being a foodstuff it's incredibly difficult to eat any large quantity. All bite attacks against a fruitcake are treated as one size smaller than normal, and any bonus the attacker receives to strength is reduced by 2 (to a minimum of 0). Any opponent who successfully bites and causes damage to a fruitcake must make a fortitude save (DC 10+ 1/2 HD + Con if any) or have its mouth gummed up, requiring a move action to clear.
Viscosity (Ex): The thick cake-and-fruit goo of which a fruitcake is formed tends to snare weapons and prevent their easy withdrawal. Any attack with a piercing or slashing weapon which deals damage to a fruitcake requires a reflex save (DC 10+ 1/2 HD + Con if any) to retain the weapon. Natural weapons are not affected.
Construction
A Cake Golem's body is formed of a series of fruitcakes arranged in a crude humanoid form, liberally covered with inch-thick marzipan impregnated with powdered adamantine. The bright white outer shell which coats the marzipan layer is formed of a combination of sugars, with abjurative sigils overlaid one upon the other in slightly different formulations so subtle that they cannot be deciphered in their final white-on-white state. The cost of the cakes are relatively moderate, though they must be made of premium ingredients worth at least 250 gold; however, the cost of adamantine and the icing's esoteric ingredients amounts to an additional 2500 gold pieces' cost. Producing and assembling the body requires a DC 17 Profession (cook) check or a DC 20 Craft (Sculpture) check.
CL 11th; Craft Construct, Geas/Quest, Resist Energy, Spell Resistance*, Stoneskin, caster must be 11th level.
Price 62750 gp; Cost 32750 gp + 2510 XP[/SBLOCK]
And the Gingerbread Golem
Last edited:
Rystil Arden
First Post
Nah, I stole it from someone else.Bront said:
Velmont
First Post
That remind me, I've run an adventure that was created by WotC where a Calzone Golem appeared. Result of a wizard who wanted to create an help for her niece, which is a famous cook.
[SBLOCK=Calzone Golem]Calzone Golem
Medium-Size Construct
Hit Dice: 6d10 (33 hp)
Initiative: –1 (Dex)
Speed: 30 ft. (can’t run)
AC: 13 (–1 Dex, +4 natural)
Attacks: 2 slams +5 melee
Damage: Slam 1d8+1 and 1d4 fire
Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Breath weapon, heat
Special Qualities: Berserk, construct, magic immunity,
spurt
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +2
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 9, Con —, Int —, Wis 11, Cha 1
Climate/Terrain: Any land and underground
Organization: Solitary or gang (2–4)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 7–12 HD (Medium-size); 13–18 HD
(Large)
The calzone golem is a strange construct dreamed up
by Andolyn and Gendrew and created through a delicate
process that mixes alchemy and bakery in ways
never before imagined by mortal beings. It looks like a
doughy humanoid, and smells of cheese and tomatoes.
Combat
As a golem, the calzone golem is incapable of strategy
or tactics. Its creator can command it if within 60 feet.
When not directly controlled, most calzone golems
stand as steadfast guardians of kitchens, pantries, or
dining halls.
Breath Weapon (Su): Once every 5 rounds, the calzone
golem can exhale a cloud of nauseating gas as a
free action. This is identical with a stinking cloud spell
except that the range is 0 and the effect is a cloud that
spreads in a 5-foot radius, 5 feet high. The Fortitude
save to negate the effect has a DC of 13.
Heat (Ex): The calzone golem generates so much
heat that its mere touch deals additional fire damage.
Berserk (Ex): When a calzone golem is struck by a
slashing or piercing weapon, it must make a Will save
(DC 12), or its elemental spirit breaks free and goes
berserk. The uncontrolled golem begins rampaging,
attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some
object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach,
then moving on to spread more destruction. Once the
golem goes berserk, no known method can reestablish
control.
Construct: Immune to mind-influencing effects,
poison, disease, and similar effects. Not subject to critical
hits, subdual damage, ability damage, energy drain,
or death from massive damage.
Magic Immunity (Ex): Calzone golems are immune
to all spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural effects,
except as follows. Cold-based effects slow them (as the
slow spell) for 2d6 rounds, no saving throw. Fire-based
effects deal no damage but rather harden the golem
temporarily, increasing its natural armor bonus by +1
for every 3 points of damage it would otherwise deal
(this hardening fades after 1d4 hours). The golem rolls
no saving throw against fire effects.
Spurt (Ex): If the calzone golem is struck for damage
by a slashing or piercing weapon, it spurts out a small
splash of extremely hot juices from the wound. This
spurt inflicts 1 point of fire damage to all individuals
within 5 feet of the golem.
Construction
A calzone golem’s body is created from a mixture of fine
ingredients, including approximately 100 pounds of
flour, 50 pounds of cheese, four gallons of tomato
sauce, and large quantities of salt, yeast, and sugar.
Mushrooms, olives, or other ingredients may be added
to the tomato sauce as desired. Season with oregano
and black pepper to taste. All ingredients must be fresh
and of the highest quality.
The golem costs 10,000 gp to create, including 500
gp for the ingredients. Assembling the body requires a
successful Profession (cook) check (DC 15), along with
2 hours of baking at approximately 450 degrees.
The creator must be 9th level and able to cast arcane
spells. Completing the ritual drains 250 XP from the
creator and requires burning hands, grease, major creation,
and stinking cloud.[/SBLOCK]
[SBLOCK=Calzone Golem]Calzone Golem
Medium-Size Construct
Hit Dice: 6d10 (33 hp)
Initiative: –1 (Dex)
Speed: 30 ft. (can’t run)
AC: 13 (–1 Dex, +4 natural)
Attacks: 2 slams +5 melee
Damage: Slam 1d8+1 and 1d4 fire
Face/Reach: 5 ft. by 5 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Breath weapon, heat
Special Qualities: Berserk, construct, magic immunity,
spurt
Saves: Fort +2, Ref +1, Will +2
Abilities: Str 17, Dex 9, Con —, Int —, Wis 11, Cha 1
Climate/Terrain: Any land and underground
Organization: Solitary or gang (2–4)
Challenge Rating: 3
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 7–12 HD (Medium-size); 13–18 HD
(Large)
The calzone golem is a strange construct dreamed up
by Andolyn and Gendrew and created through a delicate
process that mixes alchemy and bakery in ways
never before imagined by mortal beings. It looks like a
doughy humanoid, and smells of cheese and tomatoes.
Combat
As a golem, the calzone golem is incapable of strategy
or tactics. Its creator can command it if within 60 feet.
When not directly controlled, most calzone golems
stand as steadfast guardians of kitchens, pantries, or
dining halls.
Breath Weapon (Su): Once every 5 rounds, the calzone
golem can exhale a cloud of nauseating gas as a
free action. This is identical with a stinking cloud spell
except that the range is 0 and the effect is a cloud that
spreads in a 5-foot radius, 5 feet high. The Fortitude
save to negate the effect has a DC of 13.
Heat (Ex): The calzone golem generates so much
heat that its mere touch deals additional fire damage.
Berserk (Ex): When a calzone golem is struck by a
slashing or piercing weapon, it must make a Will save
(DC 12), or its elemental spirit breaks free and goes
berserk. The uncontrolled golem begins rampaging,
attacking the nearest living creature or smashing some
object smaller than itself if no creature is within reach,
then moving on to spread more destruction. Once the
golem goes berserk, no known method can reestablish
control.
Construct: Immune to mind-influencing effects,
poison, disease, and similar effects. Not subject to critical
hits, subdual damage, ability damage, energy drain,
or death from massive damage.
Magic Immunity (Ex): Calzone golems are immune
to all spells, spell-like abilities, and supernatural effects,
except as follows. Cold-based effects slow them (as the
slow spell) for 2d6 rounds, no saving throw. Fire-based
effects deal no damage but rather harden the golem
temporarily, increasing its natural armor bonus by +1
for every 3 points of damage it would otherwise deal
(this hardening fades after 1d4 hours). The golem rolls
no saving throw against fire effects.
Spurt (Ex): If the calzone golem is struck for damage
by a slashing or piercing weapon, it spurts out a small
splash of extremely hot juices from the wound. This
spurt inflicts 1 point of fire damage to all individuals
within 5 feet of the golem.
Construction
A calzone golem’s body is created from a mixture of fine
ingredients, including approximately 100 pounds of
flour, 50 pounds of cheese, four gallons of tomato
sauce, and large quantities of salt, yeast, and sugar.
Mushrooms, olives, or other ingredients may be added
to the tomato sauce as desired. Season with oregano
and black pepper to taste. All ingredients must be fresh
and of the highest quality.
The golem costs 10,000 gp to create, including 500
gp for the ingredients. Assembling the body requires a
successful Profession (cook) check (DC 15), along with
2 hours of baking at approximately 450 degrees.
The creator must be 9th level and able to cast arcane
spells. Completing the ritual drains 250 XP from the
creator and requires burning hands, grease, major creation,
and stinking cloud.[/SBLOCK]
Rystil Arden
First Post
I'm going to give a bit more time, since it was Memorial Day weekend and all. Let's say if they haven't gotten back to us by Wednesday, we have our team.
While I've enjoyed the discussion, it looks like I'm going to have to drop out.
I've been suffering for a few months from post-viral debilitation which is leaving me pretty limited time and energy - I'd thought I was getting better and haven't done any RP for a while, but it looks like it's going to be a while longer before I can put the time and effort into this game that it would deserve. Also, with limited energy I'm afraid work/family comes first.
In terms of the skills, I suppose I was mostly aiming for the +3 racial bonus on the craft, but I was also considering the fact that cooking is a skill that does actually produce something and is something of a craft.
In terms of the wine, it just seemed appropriate for a musketeer to be a real expert on such things...
Hope the game goes well, it looks great and a good mix of characters.
I've been suffering for a few months from post-viral debilitation which is leaving me pretty limited time and energy - I'd thought I was getting better and haven't done any RP for a while, but it looks like it's going to be a while longer before I can put the time and effort into this game that it would deserve. Also, with limited energy I'm afraid work/family comes first.
In terms of the skills, I suppose I was mostly aiming for the +3 racial bonus on the craft, but I was also considering the fact that cooking is a skill that does actually produce something and is something of a craft.
In terms of the wine, it just seemed appropriate for a musketeer to be a real expert on such things...
Hope the game goes well, it looks great and a good mix of characters.
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