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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Piratecat" data-source="post: 5508181" data-attributes="member: 2">Hmm. I'm sure I've done that.Here's the deal. We expect people to behave like adults and to get along. If they can't do that - on the rare occasion that there's infantile squabbling instead of real discourse and a genuine disagreement - I don't feel a lot of remorse about expressing my displeasure. That can either be done privately, when that's the most effective solution, or it can mean making a public example out of the people who are misbehaving. That doesn't happen too often, but when it does it's generally well deserved and highly effective at letting people know what is unacceptable behavior.There's a big difference between people arguing and people being jerks. I'm happy to make that distinction.One thing that has greatly helped is that we now flag the first post that starts a chain of problem, editing it with mod-text to make it clear that this isn't okay. That also helps set standards and expectations for people reading. When the post that makes you furious is already flagged, you're less likely to respond in kind.I also make a point of not moderating in anger. There are a very few people in this world who make me see red, but one or two of them post here. I let other people moderate them when necessary, because I'm not sure I'd give them a fair shake. Similarly, if someone makes us really angry we're likely to give them a few days off and discuss it in the Moderator Forum before deciding on a final action. I have no problem apologizing or reversing a decision if we think we've made a mistake, and we always get multi-mod input on the tricky cases.Sometimes, though, members think someone is being a troll just because they don't happen to agree with them. From a neutral third-party perspective it's often not the case. That's when ignore lists prove invaluable. If someone is smart and interesting, I would always rather rehab their posting style than boot them off the site because of temporary friction. Different opinions are interesting so long as you're not coming off as a jerk when you're expressing them.</blockquote>

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