Requesting some role-play advice from the women of EN World

[Delemental]

Well, my character in a FR campaign, a half-elven druid, was killed last night (well, technically he's not dead, but he was at -4 hp, turned to stone, and plane shifted to some random spot in the Outlands... stupid prismatic spray). So, I'm bringing in my new character - a female War Wizard of Cormyr.

I was hoping to gather some advice or good tips regarding role-playing a female character. Despite the thread's title, I'll take responses from anyone - but my hope is to get a bit closer to accurately portraying a female frame of mind.

This will not be the first female character I've played, but has the potential to be one I play for a long time (my previous attempts ended up being very short due to other circumstances). I avoid the obvious 'male player with female character' faux pas - my characters are not whores, nor are they man-hating Amazons. What I'm looking for is more subtle advice. I'll give you my character's background, and hopefully you can chime in your opinion on what I could do to make her more 'real'.

My purpose in all this, by the way, is that I'm hoping to bring more role-play and character interaction into our game. We've been running City of the Spider Queen, which is pretty combat-intense, and quite honestly I was getting tired of killing drow. Plus I just like my characters to seem like real people.

Myndrila Amethyst was raised in an orphanage in a small village in Cormyr - her mother was raped by a Sembian merchant-prince, and gave her up when she was born. Myndrila never knew her parents, though she was well aware of the circumstances of her birth. For years she endured the torment and abuse of the other children, and was ignored and neglected by the adults who ran the orphanage. The town was destroyed by a goblin army, and the townsfolk moved to Tilverton (a small city in Cormyr), where Myndrila's situation did not improve. Finally, however, her plight was noticed by a orphanage worker, who managed to convince a retired War Wizard in town to take her in as a house servant. After a few months, the wizard recognized that Myndrila had potential to learn the Art, but was too old to take on an apprentice. Instead, he sent her off the the Academy of War Wizards.

At the Academy, Myndrila was a gifted student, but this was overlooked - years of neglect and abuse had taken their toll, making Myndrila so withdrawn and unconfident in herself that she barely registered in the minds of her instructors, and was once again teased and scorned by her classmates. Thus despite her skill, she was kept in the Academy for eight years when most graduate in five. The only thing that got her out were the terrible wars that ravaged Cormyr - the country was desperately in need of War Wizards. Even so, Myndrila ended up stationed in a tiny, out of the way outpost. But after only a few months, she was approached by a man from the Royal Palace with a special assignment - to find a certain group of adventurers and offer her services to them. Apparently this group had been identified by the court's diviners as crucial to Cormyr's future - and the crown wanted one of their own close by to hopefully influence things in their favor.

Now, a few other things about Myndrila...

First, she's an aasimar (mortal being with a touch of celestial blood, for those who don't know), but doesn't realize it. Her father was an offspring of the goddess of luck, Tymora, and was destroyed not long after the rape that produced Myndrila. Myndrila's lack of confidence and self-esteem have muted her celestial qualities, and she thinks she's human. The reason I have her related to Tymora is that I'd like her to eventually enter the Fatespinner prestige class from Tome and Blood, and this makes a good tie-in.

My intention with Myndrila is to have her 'break out of her shell' and reach her full potential over time. She's always been a shy, withdrawn girl who dreams of adventure and wishes that her life would be fixed. In time she has to realize that she must take the reins of her own destiny.

Her one greatest fear is suffering what happened to her mother - especially if she ended up with child. She's willing and capable of defending herself, and she knows that it's only a few bad men in the world who would do such a thing. As a final precaution, though, she uses a lot of nararoot (a root in Faerun that can be chewed or made into tea, that renders a woman infertile for a few days - Myndrila eats a piece every day just to be sure).

So, that's it. Any thoughts? Any part of the background strike you as too implausible? How would you see this person acting if she were your character, or someone you knew in real life?

 

[Kichwas]

Draw upon the women in your life...
They're a great resource.

Also, strong rape themes in female characters are well... annoying. There are women like this but it's like playing the flip side of the big chested bimbo in a see through elmore drawn bikini.

 

[Terwox]

arcady was a bit.. harsh, but has a point.

if you're in a group that isn't terribly into roleplaying, making a character with strong rape themes might not increase roleplaying, but it might annoy some people. if it's subtle, it should work.

but, yes, draw from women you actually know, first.

and don't forget that she's a wizard, and a darn good one -- thus, very intelligent. that comes first, before any gender or sex stuff.

anyway, if you don't overdo the rape stuff -- don't be a drama twink -- it could be a really cool character. just be subtle with it. overdoing it could really offend. yepyep. g'luck.

 

[Delemental]

Draw upon the women in your life...
They're a great resource.

But... I'm a gamer... I have no women in my life...

Also, strong rape themes in female characters are well... annoying. There are women like this but it's like playing the flip side of the big chested bimbo in a see through elmore drawn bikini.

Understood, and agreed. The only reason it's really there is to establish why she's unaware of who her parents are - I could have done it a different way, admittedly, but I guess that in my mind's eye I didn't see Myndrila's mother as a cruel person, but just one who couldn't handle the emotional burden attached to this child.

I suppose I could also have Myndrila be the product of a consensual, but brief fling with a wandering adventurer (one of those lusty characters that show up in taverns trying to seduce the barmaids) and have her given up just because her mother couldn't support her. But overall the important aspect is that Myndrila has to appear to be unwanted - this is the basis for her being tormented by her peers (kids can be cruel, you know). Thus the 'loving parents killed when she was a baby' theme wouldn't work - now she's an object of pity, not ridicule.

(And for the record, I'm not saying it's okay to make fun of children who've been abandoned by their parents. I'm saying that it seems more likely that the child's peers would make fun of them for it, especially when you're dealing with what are essentially a bunch of traumatized war orphans. In situations like this, establishing a power hierarchy isn't uncommon, and, well, someone has to be on the bottom.)

I have no intention of turning Myndrila into a paranoid freak who gestures at every man in town with her magic missile wand to keep them away. And my GM is not the sort of person to incorporate an in-character rape scene into the game - nor would I want him to.

If this aspect of the character comes out at all, it will be in very slight ways. One of these is her use of nararoot, which really stems more from her fear of having a child (she doesn't think she'd be a good parent, and couldn't bear the thought of turning her own child over to an orphanage). She'd probably be a little more cautious around, say, strongly inebriated men, but wouldn't do anything extreme like run away or attack them.

Terwox pointed out that she's an intelligent person first. I agree, but she doesn't quite see it yet. She's pretty down on herself, and has never been given a chance to prove her capabilities. Once she's been 'in the field', she'll become a stronger person and more confident.

 

[dream66_]

To me it seems that you have the character...

She's inteligent, she's powerful, but she doesnt' see it, or doesn't admit it to herself, she's shy withdrawn, and has self esteem issues.

Looks like a pretty good write up for a character to me. You can do alot with that. Differences between men and woman are not as great as you might think. People are indivuals, each having their own drives.

 

[DragonLancer]

I don't know FR that well, but how about this for an idea.

In your initial post you mentioned her father being a Sembian Merchant-Prince. How about in their courting her mother became pregnant, something the father's family was horrified to learn. Think of the scandel. The family couldn't have a bastard child so they forced her to give up the child or the family would not permit the marriage.

Just an idea.

 

[Silver Moon]

Looks like a pretty good write up for a character to me. You can do alot with that. Differences between men and woman are not as great as you might think. People are individuals, each having their own drives.

Ditto. Sounds like the good workings of a PC to me. While most of my P.C.'s are male, I do have two female P.C.'s in our campaign. One is an elvan ranger who is married to the party's leader and currenly pregnant with his child. To play her I just drawn on both women I know and my own past experiences with women. The key is really to play the CHARACTER first, and the GENDER second.

 

[Buttercup]

I once had an employee who was very bright and creative, but who had extremely low self-esteem. She was the scape goat in her family, for reasons I never did figure out, and she truly believed that she wasn't worthy of good treatment. She never complained. Once I found out that another staff member was harrassing her, and I asked her why she hadn't complained. Her reply? "Oh, well, it wasn't like he was doing it to anyone important." It was heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time. Interestingly, she did come out of her shell, over a period of about 3 years. This happened because she kept getting positive feedback about her ideas, organizational skills and plain raw talent from various sources. One person who praises you might just be biased. Two people are maybe just trying to be kind. But when everywhere you go people sing your praises, sooner or later it has to sink in.

Dunno if that little story is any help. As others have said, focusing on the character's gender isn't even necessary. The neglected/unwanted background would result in the same self-image issues and behavior problems in a male or a female.

 

[bekkilyn_rpg]

I suggest playing her like a "normal person." She probably won't sit around scratching her arse all day but at the same time she's no delicate little flower either. SHe's not going to be afraid of bugs or getting muddy. If she were a modern day female of average intelligence, she probably likes to go hang out with friends, maybe play a bit of soccer or basketball from time to time, watch a couple shows on TV and maybe even kick some butt on the PS2 and chat about a few things in email. Basically, all normal kinds of stuff lots of people do regardless of gender.

She's not necessarily going to be any more organized, nurturing, child-loving, or flirty than anyone else as many people seem to imply about women. She may care very little for her appearance while out tramping around in the dirt and rain with the rest of the party. That would be stupid and probably the last thing anyone would think of when encountering a group of monsters. Seems a number of people end up treating their female characters as more silly or stupid than they are because they are treating her as a stereotype rather than a unique person with unique goals and interests.

The most realistic female (and male for that matter) characters I've seen played are those by players not so concerned by what a *female* would do, but instead are concerned about what a *person* would do, regardless of gender, if that character had this background and that family and these hobbies and those interests, etc.

 

[S'mon]

She's not necessarily going to be any more organized, nurturing, child-loving, or flirty than anyone else as many people seem to imply about women.

While women in general may well be more nuturing, child-loving etc than men on average, I strongly agree that the type of woman who becomes an adventurer is unlikely to fit general norms anyway! She's as likely to fit typical adventurer norms, eg being unusually reckless, inclined to violence, thrill-seeking, measuring status by physical or magical power, disinclined to social responsibility, et al...