They are playing different games anyway. The community is pretty much an illusion. A useful one, from time to time, but the different experiences are much more important than the shared ones.
And of course, I stand by my original point- he should have kept his mouth shut on the 'everyone has done this' thing. It immediately started some wrangling.
Your homebrewing assumptions strike me as... odd. No elves, to me, means there aren't any elves. Period. No planar wanderers just 'show up'. No spelljamming, no norse gods 'in the the north'. Homebrewed worlds were usually a deliberate departure from the so-called ''common assumptions'. They were dull, and there were always folks who didn't want them.
The same thing seems to be happening again. This edition's default fluff is *bland*. And in places, nonsensical. I don't want it. I don't want to play a game where there isn't really a world, just some disconnected towns and dungeons and some very boring generic background. I'd really rather read that 50-60 page word document on someone's actual setting. I like the PoL concept, but there execution might as well not be there.