Second that -- would love to see it.
Sagiro's Story Hour: The FINAL Adventures of Abernathy's Company (FINISHED 7/3/14)
- Thread starter Sagiro
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Second that -- would love to see it.
Sagiro
Rodent of Uncertain Parentage
I don't remember the Octesian-fight battlemap being particularly memorable. Piratecat, are you perhaps thinking of a different one that comes much later?
Piratecat
Sesquipedalian
Sagiro's Story Hour: The Further Adventures of Abernathy's Company (updated 3/1
Hmm. Probably. I remembered the Octesian one being cool, too, but that's probably me conflating it with a few other fights.
The person at the door is King Crunard telling Dranko he's a long-lost prince, right? Right?
Hmm. Probably. I remembered the Octesian one being cool, too, but that's probably me conflating it with a few other fights.
The person at the door is King Crunard telling Dranko he's a long-lost prince, right? Right?
RangerWickett
Legend
Sagiro just used a knock knock joke as a cliffhanger.
I'm guessing it's an interrupting cow.
I'm guessing it's an interrupting cow.
And here we sit, without opposable thumbs...
Hang on -- Dranko? Didn't the party have a squire by that name? Kept Grey Wolf's sword buffed? Died when a giant turtle stepped on him, like a decade ago?
Chronikoce
First Post
First off, woo exiting. Can't wait to see what happens.
Second, huge thanks Sagiro! I just dropped 4 Greater Null Shadows against my group tonight. Group was composed of 7 people ranging between levels 8 and 9. I am not going to lie, I got a shoe thrown at me tonight for this combat but it was soo worth it. Of the people in the party only 2 were wielding non magical weapons and nobody figured out this was the link until after they had all been defeated. One of these two rolled 1's on his d20 3 rounds in a row and ended up lit on fire and unconscious for his efforts.
One party member tried everything he could think of and then finally just fled the battle. Another grabbed a lantern off a pole on the street they were on and started beating the shadows with it and were overjoyed to be dealing 1-2 damage a round. Everyone had a great time and it was extremely funny to listen to them spending 30+ minutes after the combat trying to figure out why the guy dealing 6 damage a round with a non magical spiked chain killed all 4 shadows while the Skirmisher with an insane bow dealing 50+ damage a round caused nothing to happen.
My character in the campaign one of my players DM's is probably in mortal peril now.
Second, huge thanks Sagiro! I just dropped 4 Greater Null Shadows against my group tonight. Group was composed of 7 people ranging between levels 8 and 9. I am not going to lie, I got a shoe thrown at me tonight for this combat but it was soo worth it. Of the people in the party only 2 were wielding non magical weapons and nobody figured out this was the link until after they had all been defeated. One of these two rolled 1's on his d20 3 rounds in a row and ended up lit on fire and unconscious for his efforts.
One party member tried everything he could think of and then finally just fled the battle. Another grabbed a lantern off a pole on the street they were on and started beating the shadows with it and were overjoyed to be dealing 1-2 damage a round. Everyone had a great time and it was extremely funny to listen to them spending 30+ minutes after the combat trying to figure out why the guy dealing 6 damage a round with a non magical spiked chain killed all 4 shadows while the Skirmisher with an insane bow dealing 50+ damage a round caused nothing to happen.
My character in the campaign one of my players DM's is probably in mortal peril now.
Sagiro
Rodent of Uncertain Parentage
Chronikoce, it warms the evil cockles of my heart to know that my legacy of Null Shadows lives on, and that you used them to such excellent effect. Thanks for sharing that story!
Sagiro’s Story Hour, Part 356
King of the Carch Din
Eddings moves to answer the door. Whomever is out there is extremely impatient, as the knocking gets louder and faster just during the five seconds it takes for the butler to cross the living room.
Outside on the street, a large crowd has gathered. At the head of the mob, standing just in front of the door, is a large humanoid creature with dark bluish-gray skin, and a face that while handsome is also a trifle fuzzy and indistinct, as if there’s a sheet of gauze hanging in front of it. A wispy gold crown rests upon his head, and his clothes are rich and elegant. He reminds the Company a bit of Al Tarqoz, the genie that they occasionally summon.
Behind him is a crowd of… bakers? Yes, it appears that every baker and baker’s apprentice on the street has joined this strange being. Even Turlissa is there. The bakers all stand deferentially behind the alien noble, except for one, the tallest of the bunch, who stands off to the side so as to cast his shadow across the noble’s face.
Eddings, unflappable as always, nods perfunctorily and asks, “And who might I ask is calling?”
The crowned creature frowns. “Aravis?” he asks.
“I am Aravis,” says the wizard from inside the house.
The creature relaxes a bit. “And is there a man named Ernest here?”
“Yup!” Ernie pipes up.
“And you are…?” prompts Grey Wolf. All of them have moved into the foyer to look out the door.
The creature draws in a breath, and in a booming voice, says “I command that you produce… Farazil! I want him. Bring him to me this instant!”
For a heartbeat the entire Company is taken aback by this request.
“We no longer have him,” Ernie answers. “Although we would be happy to…”
“Unacceptable!” shouts the creature, glowering down at the halfling.
“Again,” says Grey Wolf, “who are you exactly?”
“I am High King Nebbizik!”
Despite the impressive physical presence of the King, some ill-concealed laughter comes from the back of the living room.
“Wait a minute,” says Ernie. “You're Farazil’s boss?"
“I am his sovereign ruler!” booms Nebbizik.
“In that case we can tell you exactly where to find him!” says Ernie brightly.
“Can we offer you some tea?” adds Dranko.
“I do not wish to find him,” says King Nebbizik. “I wish him brought to me. I have traveled enough for one day. But I accept your offer of tea. May my retinue accompany me?”
“My Lord,” says Dranko. “You won’t be hurting any of your retinue’s… hosts, will you?”
“Hurting? Of course not! My court has discretion and a deft touch. What do you take me for?”
“Well, clearly not Farazil,” says Dranko.
After a second or two of silence, one of the bakers whispers, “…’Your Majesty’.”
“Oh,” says Dranko. “You don’t have to call me…”
Ernie elbows him in the thigh.
“You will refer to His Majesty as ‘High King’ or ‘His Majesty,’ or ‘Your Majesty’ when you address him directly,” says the baker.
“If I were in the High King’s court, maybe I would,” says Dranko.
Morningstar leans over and whispers harshly in her husband’s ear. “He’s going to make Farazil go away!”
Ernie fills the awkward silence. “Our home is not sufficient for one so great as His Majesty. But we have a magical tower that can be made however suits His Majesty’s wishes.”
That sounds more to King Nebbizik’s liking. The Lucent Tower is erected in the back yard. As the group walks around behind the Greenhouse, Nebbizik’s retinue arranges themselves so that His Majesty is cast in shadow as much as is possible.
Once they are all inside, Ernie asks, “Does your court or His Majesty require refreshment?”
“I doubt you have anything that we could eat on this benighted Prime,” grumbles the King, looking around for a place to sit.
“You’d be surprised,” says Ernie. “Name your pleasure, Your Majesty.”
“You don’t even have names for it,” the King answers. “We don’t eat food. However, I’m sure the court would appreciate an opportunity to sit, and while this tower is very impressive, it is also very empty.”
Ernie grabs one of the “handles” of the Lucent Tower and wills into being two dozen fancy padded brocade chairs with large velvet cushions.
“Excellent,” Nebbizik declares. “And for me, a throne!”
Ernie makes him an ornate throne with a canopy. The King sits down and closes his eyes for a second.
“Acceptable,” he says. “Now, as I have asked already, where is…”
“No,” says Aravis. “You have not asked. You have demanded, Your Majesty.”
Nebbizik stares for a second at Aravis, then says jovially, “Right you are! As I have already demanded, I wish Farazil brought to me this instant. My divinations indicated that you know his whereabouts and can produce him. Now do so!”
“Please explain why you wish him to be brought here, Your Majesty,” says Aravis.
Nebbizik stares again, but doesn’t smile this time. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
Aravis persists. “Except, Your Majesty, that without us, he won’t be brought here.”
“We have reached a limited truce with Farazil,” Ernie adds. “If we hunt him down and turn him over to you, and if that action comes back to us, he might be inclined to renew his.. annoying behaviors towards us.”
Nebbizik chuckles. “Farazil is a scoundrel, isn’t he?”
“Yes!” Ernie can’t agree emphatically enough.
“Then you should be pleased that I will take him off your hands, and you will never see him again,” says King Nebbizik. “In fact, I will have him executed!”
Most in the Company don’t see a downside, but Dranko decides that this crosses the line.
“Here’s the problem with that, Your Majesty,” he says. “Farazil is… that is, he may be in the process of reforming.”
“I don’t care!” says Nebbizik. “He is my subject!”
A thought comes suddenly to Dranko and Aravis.
“If he were a citizen of Charagan,” Dranko asks, “Would he no longer be your subject?”
“He is not a citizen,” Nebbizik grumbles, “so it is irrelevant.”
“That’s not what I asked, Your Majesty.”
“I would need to see the laws of your Kingdom,” Nebbizik concedes. “But he will always be my subject, as far as I’m concerned. Until he’s dead, of course.”
“Can you tell us why you want him dead, Your Majesty?” asks Dranko.
Ernie can answer that one. “’Cause he’s a big jerk!”
King Nebbizik laughs. “I see he is no different here than he was back at the Umbral Court.”
“Here, he’s been a burr in my britches,” says Ernie.
“That’s not actually true,” says Dranko. “Recently, he’s been extremely useful and helpful.”
“He seized my mother!” Ernie protests.
“Well that is his way,” says Nebbizik. “He also seized my daughter! Thus, his pending execution.”
Dranko can’t help himself. “Is she cute?”
Nebbizik glowers, and his face seems to fall deeper into shadow. “You will apologize for the insinuation,” he seethes.
“Your Majesty,” says Dranko, “I apologize for insinuating that your daughter is cute.”
“Enough!” thunders Nebbizik. The other members of the Company each take a step back.
“I have no doubts your daughter is gorgeous, Your Majesty,” says Dranko hastily, “and would be desirable to anyone! I’m sorry if I offended you.”
Grey Wolf intercedes. “Your Majesty, you’ll have to forgive our friend. He’s an idiot.”
“Who’s standing right here!” says Dranko.
“Yes, you are,” says Grey Wolf.
“Unfortunately,” adds Aravis.
Ernie drags the conversation back to Farazil. “The King has a legitimate claim to his subject,” he opines.
“All I can think of,” says Morningstar, “is the sound of the gates closing us into God’s Thorn.”
“But what about what he’s done since!” says Dranko.
“What about it?” says Ernie. “Roaming around, causing trouble, taking over my mother…”
“…and riding around in my body!” adds Flicker.
“You just like him because he has a certain roguish aspect,” says Ernie. “But he doesn’t have your dignity or sense of honor.”
King Nebbizik starts to show real signs of impatience. “Why are you discussing Farazil’s character, instead of fetching him and bringing him to me!”
Morningstar sighs. She has other things on her mind. “As much as we want to help you, we actually have more important things to do today.”
“Then get him here quickly,” Nebbizik suggests. “I will take him, and get off of this disgusting Prime, and leave you alone.”
“Your Majesty, how are we to do that?” Ernie asks. “If we grab the body he currently occupies, he’ll just disappear.”
Nebbizik sounds exasperated. “Find him when he is alone, grab him, and teleport him back here. I know you have the means to do that, do you not? Then he’ll either be in the body he’s in now, or one of you. Either way, bring him before me. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Without harming the resident body?” asks Ernie.
“Yes, without harming the resident body. Though why you place such value in these revolting flesh bags, I cannot imagine.”
Dranko has decided to take a stand on this one. “Your Majesty, do you wish to replace him with another ally for us, because he’s doing important work.”
Nebbizik sighs. “You can hire another servant on your time.”
“Dranko,” hisses Ernie. “Farazil’s not doing anything that we couldn’t get someone else to do. Someone more reliable and more trustworthy, too.”
“You should listen to your friends,” Nebbizik says to Dranko “They understand him better than you. He’s a scoundrel, with no honor.”
Dranko turns to Ernie and the others. “But we promised to ask about getting him citizenship. We haven’t yet held up our part of the bargain.”
The others admit, begrudgingly, that Dranko has a point.
“I don’t believe he’s reformed, though,” says Ernie. “If I honestly thought he was trying to go straight, I would give him a chance, you know that. But I don’t think he has.”
“But we’ve done divinations,” Dranko presses. “We know Farazil is going to be loyal to us until he isn’t anymore. Loyal to a point, right?”
“Then assume you and he have reached that point, and hand him over!” barks Nebbizik.
“Did he break any laws?” asks Aravis?
“Yes!” Nebbizik’s temper is wearing more and more thin by the minute. “I make the laws!”
“Did he break any laws that were laws at the time he supposedly broke them?” continues Aravis.
“He was consorting with the daughter of the King, without the King’s permission! So, yes!”
“Would Your Majesty ever grant such permission? To anyone?” asks Dranko.
“Yes,” says Nebbizik. “But not Farazil!”
“Was it consensual?”
“It doesn’t matter!”
“It probably did to her!”
Kibi pipes up in partial agreement with Dranko. “I don’t like Farazil, but I don’t want to see him executed for… this.”
“Why don’t you get him, and do all of this moralizing and equivocating later?” asks Nebbizik. The bakers are starting to mutter among themselves. They have never seen their High King put off for so long as this.
“I’ll find him, says Aravis. “Then you can decide what to do about it.” He turns his back on King Nebbizik and walks out of the Lucent Tower, so he can scry Farazil in private.
“Our hosts are rude, Your Majesty,” says one of the bakers.
“You don’t rule us, Your Majesty,” Dranko points out.
“It doesn’t matter if you are my subjects,” says Nebbizik, glancing after Aravis out the door of the tower. “I am still a High King, and deserving of more deference than you are showing.”
“Sir, we are personages worthy of deference,” says Morningstar.
“For instance,” says Ernie. “Aravis is a God.”
When Nebbizik looks down at Ernie askance, Grey Wolf adds, “It’s true.”
“Ah,” says Nebbizik. “You’re a collection of court jesters then.”
“No,” says Ernie. “We’re Knights of the kingdom!”
Aravis successfully scries Farazil – or at least, the body they had lent him. In the scrying mirror he can see the prisoner standing in a street; behind him is a makeshift barricade. He has acquired a uniform bearing the insignia of the ruling house of Sentinel.
“No, I insist!” Farazil is saying to someone. “It’s too dangerous. No one can approach the mine, at least for another couple of days, to give us time to complete our investigation. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” The person Aravis is looking at is much more well-spoken than the dullard whose body Farazil was given.
Aravis comes back out and beckons the others to the lawn outside the Lucent Tower, where she shares what he has seen.
“See!” says Dranko. “He’s reformed! My whole life, since I met you guys, is based on that if you trust someone to do what’s right, they’ll do the right thing.”
“I don’t trust him to do any right thing,” says Ernie.
“I think we have to take the leap of faith.”
“Maybe he should start doing the right thing by apologizing to his wronged King,” Ernie suggests.
“I just want a simple problem for once,” Grey Wolf groans.
They bicker for a few more minutes. Dranko has clearly decided to side with Farazil. Aravis is starting to lean that way, though mostly from a dislike of Nebbizik. Kibi feels like they should honor the agreement they had made with Farazil, to see about getting him citizenship. Ernie and Morningstar feel just the opposite; the sooner Nebbizik cuts off Farazil’s annoying shadowy head, the better.
“What do you think, Flicker?” asks Ernie. “You’re the one who suffered the most.”
“Well, I’d say ‘annoyed’ more than ‘suffered,’ but I feel no great love for Farazil, I don’t mind saying.”
“We need to decide quickly,” says Aravis, “because Tal Hae is entirely without bakers at the moment.”
Nebbizik agrees with his desire for a speedier resolution; he appears in the doorway of the Lucent Tower and calls to the Company assembled on the lawn. “Well? I’m bored.”
“We’ll be with you in a moment, Your Majesty,” calls Ernie.
Nebbizik beckons Grey Wolf over. “You seem like a sensible fellow. Is it true that you are all Lords and Ladies of the Realm?”
Grey Wolf nods.
“Then why don’t you live in a castle? Why are you instead in a bakery?”
“We own multiple castles, Your Majesty,” Grey Wolf explains. “But this house is more secure than they are.”
Aravis, overhearing, adds, “It’s protected by magics more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
Nebbizik looks dubious. “Oh, is that so? Because I can imagine quite a lot. You think this bakery is well protected? Then let me show you something.”
The King of the Carch Din walks to the nearest wall of the Greenhouse, and spends a few seconds manifesting a roiling ball of shadow around his hand. He reaches out to the wall, clearly expecting his hand to simply pass through it, but it meets unexpected resistance. He frowns, pushes harder, and is rewarded with a painful jolt to his arm.
“With all due respect, Your Majesty,” says Grey Wolf dryly, “you might injure yourself if you keep doing that.”
“Hmmm,” says Nebbizik with a worried look. “Perhaps I have misunderstood your place in the social hierarchy.” He turns to Aravis. “But look here. Are you really a God? And if so, of what? And then why are you here, on this malodorous Prime, looking like… like that?”
“I am a God of Cats,” says Aravis.
“Cats? That’s ridiculous! You look nothing like a…” He stops, perhaps concerned about causing offense. “Well, never mind. In the time you’ve been standing around, bickering with one another and with me, you could have brought back Farazil and his ten closest friends! You say you have better things to do, but if you’re wasting time, you have only yourselves to blame.”
“If we bring Farazil to you,” asks Kibi, “will he get a trial?”
“A trial?” Nebbizik roars. “Of course not! He is a low-ranking member of my court, and my power over him is absolute.”
“But he told us he was King Farazil,” says Ernie.
Nebbizik blanches. “King Farazil? He has been passing himself off as a king? I’ll have to execute him twice.”
Ernie smiles innocently. “King of the Carch Din, he said.”
Nebbizik’s face practically vanishes into angry shadow. “He is most certainly not. He is minor nobility. I suppose in a kingdom like this, he’d be something like a Viscount. I’m not certain how you flesh-bags’ titles work. But if indiscretions with our royal daughter weren’t already grounds for execution, passing one’s self off as a King of the Carch Din… I’ll execute him in pieces!”
The party has a final burst of discussion about what to do, and settles on a compromise.
“Your Majesty,” says Ernie, “We’ve agreed that we’ll let you know where Farazil is, but you’ll have to get there under your own power.”
Normally Nebbizik would not stand for this, but he looks nervously over at the Greenhouse, and surreptitiously rubs his throbbing hand. “Fine, fine. I see I’m not going to get anything else out of you.”
Aravis draws Nebbizik a picture of the body in which Farazil currently resides.
“You can kill that body,” says Ernie. “He was sentenced to execution anyway. But only if there's no other choice, and no one else!”
“And then I can take Farazil home and execute him,” Nebbizik grumbles. “Fine.”
Ernie bows. “I’m sure Your Majesty, in your infinite mercy, will make a proper judgment call as to the fate of Farazil.”
Nebbizik shows a mouthful of teeth. “My mercy is not infinite. Infinitesimal, more like! Hah!”
“Your Majesty jests,” says Ernie.
“You’d like to think so,” says Nebbizik.
Kibi produces a map of the Kingdom, and they show their guest where the city of Sentinel is located.
“Umbral Court!” shouts Nebbizik. “It looks like we’re going elsewhere to nab our miscreant! Come along!”
He turns to the Company. “Thank you, Lords and Ladies. You've been… well, less than helpful, but at least you told me where he was.” And with that, High King Nebbizik of the Carch Din vanishes into a vortex of shadows. At once all the assembled bakers blink and start to looking about them in confusion. It’s clear that none of them remember coming here, or have any idea of where they are. Ernie mollifies them as best he is able, and faced with the prospect of burning bread and confused customers, the bakers quickly return to their places of employ.
“Boy,” says Ernie. “And I thought Farazil was a pompous jerk!”
“I know you don’t all agree with me,” says Dranko, “but thanks for listening to my point of view.”
Dranko decides to do Farazil one more favor. Though Morningstar and Ernie refuse to issue a sending on his behalf, Dranko nonetheless dashes through the streets of Tal Hae until he reaches the main Church of Delioch. Once there he commandeers a scroll of sending and gives warning to Farazil.
Farazil, King Nebbizik showed up, demanded we turn you over. He knows we refused, but knows your location. Before you flee, what did you learn?”
The reply:
Nebbizik? He’s here? Crap! Crap, crap, crap! I learned you can help. I’ll make my way back to you. Don’t go anywhere!
That’s not likely to happen, since it will be days at best before Farazil can return to Tal Hae, even assuming he manages to evade Nebbizik and his court. But Dranko feels he has done all he can, and returns to the Greenhouse. Perhaps now, with that diversion out of the way, the Company can get on with the business of saving the Kingdom from Octesian.
…to be continued…
Sagiro’s Story Hour, Part 356
King of the Carch Din
Eddings moves to answer the door. Whomever is out there is extremely impatient, as the knocking gets louder and faster just during the five seconds it takes for the butler to cross the living room.
Outside on the street, a large crowd has gathered. At the head of the mob, standing just in front of the door, is a large humanoid creature with dark bluish-gray skin, and a face that while handsome is also a trifle fuzzy and indistinct, as if there’s a sheet of gauze hanging in front of it. A wispy gold crown rests upon his head, and his clothes are rich and elegant. He reminds the Company a bit of Al Tarqoz, the genie that they occasionally summon.
Behind him is a crowd of… bakers? Yes, it appears that every baker and baker’s apprentice on the street has joined this strange being. Even Turlissa is there. The bakers all stand deferentially behind the alien noble, except for one, the tallest of the bunch, who stands off to the side so as to cast his shadow across the noble’s face.
Eddings, unflappable as always, nods perfunctorily and asks, “And who might I ask is calling?”
The crowned creature frowns. “Aravis?” he asks.
“I am Aravis,” says the wizard from inside the house.
The creature relaxes a bit. “And is there a man named Ernest here?”
“Yup!” Ernie pipes up.
“And you are…?” prompts Grey Wolf. All of them have moved into the foyer to look out the door.
The creature draws in a breath, and in a booming voice, says “I command that you produce… Farazil! I want him. Bring him to me this instant!”
For a heartbeat the entire Company is taken aback by this request.
“We no longer have him,” Ernie answers. “Although we would be happy to…”
“Unacceptable!” shouts the creature, glowering down at the halfling.
“Again,” says Grey Wolf, “who are you exactly?”
“I am High King Nebbizik!”
Despite the impressive physical presence of the King, some ill-concealed laughter comes from the back of the living room.
“Wait a minute,” says Ernie. “You're Farazil’s boss?"
“I am his sovereign ruler!” booms Nebbizik.
“In that case we can tell you exactly where to find him!” says Ernie brightly.
“Can we offer you some tea?” adds Dranko.
“I do not wish to find him,” says King Nebbizik. “I wish him brought to me. I have traveled enough for one day. But I accept your offer of tea. May my retinue accompany me?”
“My Lord,” says Dranko. “You won’t be hurting any of your retinue’s… hosts, will you?”
“Hurting? Of course not! My court has discretion and a deft touch. What do you take me for?”
“Well, clearly not Farazil,” says Dranko.
After a second or two of silence, one of the bakers whispers, “…’Your Majesty’.”
“Oh,” says Dranko. “You don’t have to call me…”
Ernie elbows him in the thigh.
“You will refer to His Majesty as ‘High King’ or ‘His Majesty,’ or ‘Your Majesty’ when you address him directly,” says the baker.
“If I were in the High King’s court, maybe I would,” says Dranko.
Morningstar leans over and whispers harshly in her husband’s ear. “He’s going to make Farazil go away!”
Ernie fills the awkward silence. “Our home is not sufficient for one so great as His Majesty. But we have a magical tower that can be made however suits His Majesty’s wishes.”
That sounds more to King Nebbizik’s liking. The Lucent Tower is erected in the back yard. As the group walks around behind the Greenhouse, Nebbizik’s retinue arranges themselves so that His Majesty is cast in shadow as much as is possible.
Once they are all inside, Ernie asks, “Does your court or His Majesty require refreshment?”
“I doubt you have anything that we could eat on this benighted Prime,” grumbles the King, looking around for a place to sit.
“You’d be surprised,” says Ernie. “Name your pleasure, Your Majesty.”
“You don’t even have names for it,” the King answers. “We don’t eat food. However, I’m sure the court would appreciate an opportunity to sit, and while this tower is very impressive, it is also very empty.”
Ernie grabs one of the “handles” of the Lucent Tower and wills into being two dozen fancy padded brocade chairs with large velvet cushions.
“Excellent,” Nebbizik declares. “And for me, a throne!”
Ernie makes him an ornate throne with a canopy. The King sits down and closes his eyes for a second.
“Acceptable,” he says. “Now, as I have asked already, where is…”
“No,” says Aravis. “You have not asked. You have demanded, Your Majesty.”
Nebbizik stares for a second at Aravis, then says jovially, “Right you are! As I have already demanded, I wish Farazil brought to me this instant. My divinations indicated that you know his whereabouts and can produce him. Now do so!”
“Please explain why you wish him to be brought here, Your Majesty,” says Aravis.
Nebbizik stares again, but doesn’t smile this time. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
Aravis persists. “Except, Your Majesty, that without us, he won’t be brought here.”
“We have reached a limited truce with Farazil,” Ernie adds. “If we hunt him down and turn him over to you, and if that action comes back to us, he might be inclined to renew his.. annoying behaviors towards us.”
Nebbizik chuckles. “Farazil is a scoundrel, isn’t he?”
“Yes!” Ernie can’t agree emphatically enough.
“Then you should be pleased that I will take him off your hands, and you will never see him again,” says King Nebbizik. “In fact, I will have him executed!”
Most in the Company don’t see a downside, but Dranko decides that this crosses the line.
“Here’s the problem with that, Your Majesty,” he says. “Farazil is… that is, he may be in the process of reforming.”
“I don’t care!” says Nebbizik. “He is my subject!”
A thought comes suddenly to Dranko and Aravis.
“If he were a citizen of Charagan,” Dranko asks, “Would he no longer be your subject?”
“He is not a citizen,” Nebbizik grumbles, “so it is irrelevant.”
“That’s not what I asked, Your Majesty.”
“I would need to see the laws of your Kingdom,” Nebbizik concedes. “But he will always be my subject, as far as I’m concerned. Until he’s dead, of course.”
“Can you tell us why you want him dead, Your Majesty?” asks Dranko.
Ernie can answer that one. “’Cause he’s a big jerk!”
King Nebbizik laughs. “I see he is no different here than he was back at the Umbral Court.”
“Here, he’s been a burr in my britches,” says Ernie.
“That’s not actually true,” says Dranko. “Recently, he’s been extremely useful and helpful.”
“He seized my mother!” Ernie protests.
“Well that is his way,” says Nebbizik. “He also seized my daughter! Thus, his pending execution.”
Dranko can’t help himself. “Is she cute?”
Nebbizik glowers, and his face seems to fall deeper into shadow. “You will apologize for the insinuation,” he seethes.
“Your Majesty,” says Dranko, “I apologize for insinuating that your daughter is cute.”
“Enough!” thunders Nebbizik. The other members of the Company each take a step back.
“I have no doubts your daughter is gorgeous, Your Majesty,” says Dranko hastily, “and would be desirable to anyone! I’m sorry if I offended you.”
Grey Wolf intercedes. “Your Majesty, you’ll have to forgive our friend. He’s an idiot.”
“Who’s standing right here!” says Dranko.
“Yes, you are,” says Grey Wolf.
“Unfortunately,” adds Aravis.
Ernie drags the conversation back to Farazil. “The King has a legitimate claim to his subject,” he opines.
“All I can think of,” says Morningstar, “is the sound of the gates closing us into God’s Thorn.”
“But what about what he’s done since!” says Dranko.
“What about it?” says Ernie. “Roaming around, causing trouble, taking over my mother…”
“…and riding around in my body!” adds Flicker.
“You just like him because he has a certain roguish aspect,” says Ernie. “But he doesn’t have your dignity or sense of honor.”
King Nebbizik starts to show real signs of impatience. “Why are you discussing Farazil’s character, instead of fetching him and bringing him to me!”
Morningstar sighs. She has other things on her mind. “As much as we want to help you, we actually have more important things to do today.”
“Then get him here quickly,” Nebbizik suggests. “I will take him, and get off of this disgusting Prime, and leave you alone.”
“Your Majesty, how are we to do that?” Ernie asks. “If we grab the body he currently occupies, he’ll just disappear.”
Nebbizik sounds exasperated. “Find him when he is alone, grab him, and teleport him back here. I know you have the means to do that, do you not? Then he’ll either be in the body he’s in now, or one of you. Either way, bring him before me. I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Without harming the resident body?” asks Ernie.
“Yes, without harming the resident body. Though why you place such value in these revolting flesh bags, I cannot imagine.”
Dranko has decided to take a stand on this one. “Your Majesty, do you wish to replace him with another ally for us, because he’s doing important work.”
Nebbizik sighs. “You can hire another servant on your time.”
“Dranko,” hisses Ernie. “Farazil’s not doing anything that we couldn’t get someone else to do. Someone more reliable and more trustworthy, too.”
“You should listen to your friends,” Nebbizik says to Dranko “They understand him better than you. He’s a scoundrel, with no honor.”
Dranko turns to Ernie and the others. “But we promised to ask about getting him citizenship. We haven’t yet held up our part of the bargain.”
The others admit, begrudgingly, that Dranko has a point.
“I don’t believe he’s reformed, though,” says Ernie. “If I honestly thought he was trying to go straight, I would give him a chance, you know that. But I don’t think he has.”
“But we’ve done divinations,” Dranko presses. “We know Farazil is going to be loyal to us until he isn’t anymore. Loyal to a point, right?”
“Then assume you and he have reached that point, and hand him over!” barks Nebbizik.
“Did he break any laws?” asks Aravis?
“Yes!” Nebbizik’s temper is wearing more and more thin by the minute. “I make the laws!”
“Did he break any laws that were laws at the time he supposedly broke them?” continues Aravis.
“He was consorting with the daughter of the King, without the King’s permission! So, yes!”
“Would Your Majesty ever grant such permission? To anyone?” asks Dranko.
“Yes,” says Nebbizik. “But not Farazil!”
“Was it consensual?”
“It doesn’t matter!”
“It probably did to her!”
Kibi pipes up in partial agreement with Dranko. “I don’t like Farazil, but I don’t want to see him executed for… this.”
“Why don’t you get him, and do all of this moralizing and equivocating later?” asks Nebbizik. The bakers are starting to mutter among themselves. They have never seen their High King put off for so long as this.
“I’ll find him, says Aravis. “Then you can decide what to do about it.” He turns his back on King Nebbizik and walks out of the Lucent Tower, so he can scry Farazil in private.
“Our hosts are rude, Your Majesty,” says one of the bakers.
“You don’t rule us, Your Majesty,” Dranko points out.
“It doesn’t matter if you are my subjects,” says Nebbizik, glancing after Aravis out the door of the tower. “I am still a High King, and deserving of more deference than you are showing.”
“Sir, we are personages worthy of deference,” says Morningstar.
“For instance,” says Ernie. “Aravis is a God.”
When Nebbizik looks down at Ernie askance, Grey Wolf adds, “It’s true.”
“Ah,” says Nebbizik. “You’re a collection of court jesters then.”
“No,” says Ernie. “We’re Knights of the kingdom!”
Aravis successfully scries Farazil – or at least, the body they had lent him. In the scrying mirror he can see the prisoner standing in a street; behind him is a makeshift barricade. He has acquired a uniform bearing the insignia of the ruling house of Sentinel.
“No, I insist!” Farazil is saying to someone. “It’s too dangerous. No one can approach the mine, at least for another couple of days, to give us time to complete our investigation. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” The person Aravis is looking at is much more well-spoken than the dullard whose body Farazil was given.
Aravis comes back out and beckons the others to the lawn outside the Lucent Tower, where she shares what he has seen.
“See!” says Dranko. “He’s reformed! My whole life, since I met you guys, is based on that if you trust someone to do what’s right, they’ll do the right thing.”
“I don’t trust him to do any right thing,” says Ernie.
“I think we have to take the leap of faith.”
“Maybe he should start doing the right thing by apologizing to his wronged King,” Ernie suggests.
“I just want a simple problem for once,” Grey Wolf groans.
They bicker for a few more minutes. Dranko has clearly decided to side with Farazil. Aravis is starting to lean that way, though mostly from a dislike of Nebbizik. Kibi feels like they should honor the agreement they had made with Farazil, to see about getting him citizenship. Ernie and Morningstar feel just the opposite; the sooner Nebbizik cuts off Farazil’s annoying shadowy head, the better.
“What do you think, Flicker?” asks Ernie. “You’re the one who suffered the most.”
“Well, I’d say ‘annoyed’ more than ‘suffered,’ but I feel no great love for Farazil, I don’t mind saying.”
“We need to decide quickly,” says Aravis, “because Tal Hae is entirely without bakers at the moment.”
Nebbizik agrees with his desire for a speedier resolution; he appears in the doorway of the Lucent Tower and calls to the Company assembled on the lawn. “Well? I’m bored.”
“We’ll be with you in a moment, Your Majesty,” calls Ernie.
Nebbizik beckons Grey Wolf over. “You seem like a sensible fellow. Is it true that you are all Lords and Ladies of the Realm?”
Grey Wolf nods.
“Then why don’t you live in a castle? Why are you instead in a bakery?”
“We own multiple castles, Your Majesty,” Grey Wolf explains. “But this house is more secure than they are.”
Aravis, overhearing, adds, “It’s protected by magics more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
Nebbizik looks dubious. “Oh, is that so? Because I can imagine quite a lot. You think this bakery is well protected? Then let me show you something.”
The King of the Carch Din walks to the nearest wall of the Greenhouse, and spends a few seconds manifesting a roiling ball of shadow around his hand. He reaches out to the wall, clearly expecting his hand to simply pass through it, but it meets unexpected resistance. He frowns, pushes harder, and is rewarded with a painful jolt to his arm.
“With all due respect, Your Majesty,” says Grey Wolf dryly, “you might injure yourself if you keep doing that.”
“Hmmm,” says Nebbizik with a worried look. “Perhaps I have misunderstood your place in the social hierarchy.” He turns to Aravis. “But look here. Are you really a God? And if so, of what? And then why are you here, on this malodorous Prime, looking like… like that?”
“I am a God of Cats,” says Aravis.
“Cats? That’s ridiculous! You look nothing like a…” He stops, perhaps concerned about causing offense. “Well, never mind. In the time you’ve been standing around, bickering with one another and with me, you could have brought back Farazil and his ten closest friends! You say you have better things to do, but if you’re wasting time, you have only yourselves to blame.”
“If we bring Farazil to you,” asks Kibi, “will he get a trial?”
“A trial?” Nebbizik roars. “Of course not! He is a low-ranking member of my court, and my power over him is absolute.”
“But he told us he was King Farazil,” says Ernie.
Nebbizik blanches. “King Farazil? He has been passing himself off as a king? I’ll have to execute him twice.”
Ernie smiles innocently. “King of the Carch Din, he said.”
Nebbizik’s face practically vanishes into angry shadow. “He is most certainly not. He is minor nobility. I suppose in a kingdom like this, he’d be something like a Viscount. I’m not certain how you flesh-bags’ titles work. But if indiscretions with our royal daughter weren’t already grounds for execution, passing one’s self off as a King of the Carch Din… I’ll execute him in pieces!”
The party has a final burst of discussion about what to do, and settles on a compromise.
“Your Majesty,” says Ernie, “We’ve agreed that we’ll let you know where Farazil is, but you’ll have to get there under your own power.”
Normally Nebbizik would not stand for this, but he looks nervously over at the Greenhouse, and surreptitiously rubs his throbbing hand. “Fine, fine. I see I’m not going to get anything else out of you.”
Aravis draws Nebbizik a picture of the body in which Farazil currently resides.
“You can kill that body,” says Ernie. “He was sentenced to execution anyway. But only if there's no other choice, and no one else!”
“And then I can take Farazil home and execute him,” Nebbizik grumbles. “Fine.”
Ernie bows. “I’m sure Your Majesty, in your infinite mercy, will make a proper judgment call as to the fate of Farazil.”
Nebbizik shows a mouthful of teeth. “My mercy is not infinite. Infinitesimal, more like! Hah!”
“Your Majesty jests,” says Ernie.
“You’d like to think so,” says Nebbizik.
Kibi produces a map of the Kingdom, and they show their guest where the city of Sentinel is located.
“Umbral Court!” shouts Nebbizik. “It looks like we’re going elsewhere to nab our miscreant! Come along!”
He turns to the Company. “Thank you, Lords and Ladies. You've been… well, less than helpful, but at least you told me where he was.” And with that, High King Nebbizik of the Carch Din vanishes into a vortex of shadows. At once all the assembled bakers blink and start to looking about them in confusion. It’s clear that none of them remember coming here, or have any idea of where they are. Ernie mollifies them as best he is able, and faced with the prospect of burning bread and confused customers, the bakers quickly return to their places of employ.
“Boy,” says Ernie. “And I thought Farazil was a pompous jerk!”
“I know you don’t all agree with me,” says Dranko, “but thanks for listening to my point of view.”
Dranko decides to do Farazil one more favor. Though Morningstar and Ernie refuse to issue a sending on his behalf, Dranko nonetheless dashes through the streets of Tal Hae until he reaches the main Church of Delioch. Once there he commandeers a scroll of sending and gives warning to Farazil.
Farazil, King Nebbizik showed up, demanded we turn you over. He knows we refused, but knows your location. Before you flee, what did you learn?”
The reply:
Nebbizik? He’s here? Crap! Crap, crap, crap! I learned you can help. I’ll make my way back to you. Don’t go anywhere!
That’s not likely to happen, since it will be days at best before Farazil can return to Tal Hae, even assuming he manages to evade Nebbizik and his court. But Dranko feels he has done all he can, and returns to the Greenhouse. Perhaps now, with that diversion out of the way, the Company can get on with the business of saving the Kingdom from Octesian.
…to be continued…
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